Completion
by RogueAngel
Summary: Jim, Marissa and Abby are finally reunited after the events of Complications.  Now it is time for them to get on with their lives together; to finally find a sense of completion after all that has happened to them and between them.
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer**__: I don't own anything to do with Star Trek except the DVD. Jim and his crew all belong to Paramount, Gene Roddenberry, JJ Abrams and whoever else has a piece of that lucrative pie. Abby belongs to me. Marissa belongs to me, but was inspired by TalesFromTheSpockSide's story _Hero_. I am making no money, but am having a heck of a lot of fun._

_**Disclaimer #2**: This story is rated M over all. Jim and Marissa are finally reunited; there just might be some sex involved._

_**Thanks**__: As always many, many thanks to RoyalPinkDogs who is my beta reader, co-author and all around moral support. These past weeks since _Complications_ was completed have been rough. I still haven't found a job, but at least I'm walking without crutches or a cane and only have a slight limp. Some progress has been made and RoyalPinkDogs has been my cheerleader all along. Thanks! - RA_

_**The **_**Consequences**_** 'verse is as follows**__: _Consequences_, _Parenthood: The Sexless Frontier, First Impressions and Quality Time_, _Complications_ and now…_

**Completion**

**Chapter 1**

It took several more hours than Jim would have liked to finally get Marissa onto a shuttle and headed back to the _Enterprise_. He certainly would have been more than happy to leave as soon as he had her in his arms, but as it was he had to coordinate with Ambassador Boyarsky and Ranoyl, the supposed next viceroy of M'Qtobau. During the entire debriefing Marissa never left his side. It might have seemed unprofessional for a captain to not let go of one of his crewmember's hands while conducting his duties, but he didn't care. He'd do what he had to do, but he wasn't letting her out of his sight.

Listening to Marissa, Roth, and the two M'Qtobauans explain the situation, Jim couldn't help but be impressed. Both M'Qtobauans were highly complimentary of the whole away team, but Marissa and Roth especially. Ranoyl stated that if it hadn't been for Marissa's knowledge of propaganda and rhetoric, their taking over of the communications systems a few days previously would have been an empty victory. Instead they had followed her advice and what they broadcasted had brought down the corrupt government and UNISTAR in record time. Roth's planning and tactical abilities had been just as instrumental in securing several important objectives.

Marissa was embarrassed by their praise, but it was like the damn biography book all over again. She took what information she had and she 'spun' it to the rebels favor. It helped that everything they had broadcasted was the truth and was supported by photos, video and actual audio recordings of what was really happening.

With the old viceroy's soldiers, what was left of them anyway, in the custody of Boyarsky and Ranoyl's forces, there wasn't much more that the crew of the _Enterprise_ could do. Both men were thankful for their help, but both parties agreed that it was best for the M'Qtobauans to take control of the situation with as little Federation intervention as possible. McCoy offered first aid and supplies to those injured in the cave and in need of food, and the security teams helped to clear the cave entrance and guard the soldiers that had been stunned, but that was the extent of their involvement. Prividan City had managed to get a shuttle in the air so within four hours the Ambassador, Ranoyl and the other injured personnel were on their way to the capital city.

Jim had offered the use of the _Enterprise's_ shuttles in taking the rest of the former rebels to Prividan City, but was politely declined. He understood and was fine with that, but he did have a private word with Ranoyl regarding the possibility of the Federation contacting the new government concerning UNISTAR and what went on. He stressed the fact that they would gladly respect M'Qtabau's autonomy, but their cooperation in any investigation that might follow would be most beneficial not only to the Federation, but other planets and civilizations.

Jim watched as Marissa tearfully hugged Boyarsky and Ranoyl, as well as several other M'Qtobauans, farewell and then he ushered her into the shuttle. With a hand protectively on her back, he escorted her to a set of seats towards the front and somewhat out of the main thoroughfare, behind the flight deck and communications center.

"Welcome back, Marissa," Hannity said as soon as Marissa stepped around the corner and into view.

"Dana!" Marissa cried, hugging her friend and once again getting weepy.

"It's so good to see you," the other woman declared. "You are a sight for sore eyes, as my grandmother used to say."

"I'm a mess," Marissa said self consciously, once again reaching for her hair and brushing at her clothes, which had seen better times.

"You're alive," Hannity told her, with a smile as she glanced over at Jim.

"I'm alive."

"Let's get you strapped in Mariss," Jim said, prodding her along to her seat only to be stopped by Sulu.

"Good to see you, Lieutenant," Sulu smiled from the cockpit doorway.

"You too, Lieutenant," Marissa grinned, giving him a hug too.

Jim just shook his head in fond exasperation. "Let's get this shuttle in the air, Sulu. I want to go home."

"Yes, sir," Sulu winked at Marissa before returning to his seat.

When she was finally seated, Jim kneeled down and then reached around her to begin strapping her into the harness.

"I can do this myself, Jim," Marissa told him with the corner of her mouth lifted slightly in exasperated amusement.

He paused, halfway through his motions. "I know, but I…" he looked at her sheepishly, unable to finish and explain his need to take care of her.

She stroked his face in understanding. "It's okay," she told him. He nodded and continued to strap her in. Finally tightening the lap belt, his hand hovered over her midsection.

Since he'd first held her almost four hours ago, she hadn't left his sight, or been out of arms' reach, but that didn't mean that he'd really gotten a chance to _see_ her. He'd seen her face and her bedraggled hair. He'd seen how thin her neck and wrists were compared to before. He'd felt how much weight she'd lost as he held or guided her, but they'd never been alone. He wanted to hold her and never let her go; to let his hands wander and touch every part of her to reassure himself that she really was alive and well, but he couldn't do that when they were surrounded by people and talking with the Ambassador and future viceroy. He'd settled for holding her hand, but it hadn't been nearly enough.

Now, seated and strapped in, he could see what he only thought he'd felt earlier – a slight bulge in her abdomen. "Is this the bug you said you'd picked up," he asked softly, his hand hovering over the bulky sweater that she'd been wearing that was now pulled tightly over her slightly distended tummy by the lap belt.

"Yeah," she whispered slightly, her hand coming over to press his firmly against her belly. "You're getting more than just me. Here, you'll feel something soon," she told him, moving his hand slightly to the side.

They both waited, Marissa eyes on Jim's face as he watched her belly. "There," he smiled, his eyes crinkling. "I feel it." Leaning forward, his hand not moving, he kissed Marissa gently. "I love you," he whispered against her lips.

"I love you, too," she replied, kissing him and then leaning her forehead against his, both of her hands coming up to hold Jim's hand against her, both of them feeling the fluttering kicks and prods of their baby's movements.

They sat in silence for a few more seconds before there was a gruff clearing of a throat behind them. "Not that I want to interrupt," McCoy said wryly, "but this tin can is about to take off and I want to be as secure as possible."

"What's stopping you?" Jim asked, not moving, but smiling as his eyes looked into Marissa's.

"Your lazy ass in the middle of the aisle, Captain," McCoy replied, kicking Jim lightly in the shin. "You should be strapped in too, Jim. No sense in tempting fate this close to home."

"Whatever you say, Bones," Jim answered, kissing Marissa briefly before rising from his knees and taking the seat next to her and nearest the exit, which caused McCoy to have to step over both of them.

"How you feeling, darlin'?" he asked once he'd checked and double checked his harness.

"Tired," Marissa admitted. "And hungry. And in desperate need of a shower."

"Didn't you get any of the rations we were passing out?" McCoy asked.

She shook her head. "Must have missed them," she told him with a shrug.

Squeezing her hand, Jim shook his head. "I'll get you something once we break atmosphere," he told her. "I'm sorry…"

"Don't be," Marissa interrupted. "It didn't even cross my mind until Len asked."

"But I should…"

"I'm fine Jim," she reassured him.

"We'll get some rations in you now," McCoy told her, "and once we're on the _Enterprise_ I want you in Medical right away."

"But I want to see Abby," Marissa protested. They'd managed a few words about their daughter before duty had interrupted, so Marissa knew that Abby was fine and that she remembered her mama, but that wasn't the same as holding her in her arms.

"I know you do, darlin'," McCoy responded sympathetically, "but we need to look after you first. Abby's fine. She'll be in daycare and Rand can meet you in your quarters with her when I'm done with you. You need to get cleaned up and checked out. She won't have the patience to wait around."

"Jim says she remembers me," Marissa began slowly.

"She does," McCoy reassured her. "She's got a picture of you by her crib she says goodnight to every night and she watches those vids you made before you left."

"A picture?" She looked between the two men curiously.

"It was Bones' idea," Jim told her, brushing a kiss to her knuckles. "It's part of her bedtime routine; to say goodnight to mama."

"I…" she stumbled for words, her eyes tearing up. "I…thank you."

"Marissa," Jim said, brushing away a tear. "I wasn't going to let her forget you."

"I know," she whispered hoarsely, her head coming to rest on Jim's shoulder. "But what if she doesn't recognize me? I've lost so much weight. I'm sure I don't look anything like my picture. And seeing me on a vid screen isn't the same. What if she…she doesn't…"

"Calm down, Marissa," McCoy interjected, as Jim looked pleadingly over at his friend, unsure of what to say to ease her distress. "That's why we're going to clean you up first. I won't lie to you, she might be a bit…hesitant…at first, but that's natural. She's young, but Jim kept your memory alive for her. Just give it some time. Odds are in a week or two she won't let you out of her sight. That's natural too. She and Jim have had a lot of support from the crew and that will help, but you're her mama and she knows that and she missed you a lot. They both did," he added softly, as Marissa met his gaze.

"Oh Jim," she turned back towards him. "I know this had to be so hard on you. I'm so sorry," she told him, more tears falling down her face.

"Hey, hey, it's okay," Jim told her, trying to comfort her while being restricted by his harness. "It's been much harder on you; hiding in caves and running around mountains. And then fighting and caring for the wounded. I'm proud of what you did – what you all did – for the M'Qtobauans. I'm just glad to have you back. You're going to have to be debriefed eventually," he warned her, trying to change the topic to something less emotionally charged, at least for her. "The Admiralty is not going to like what you have to say. And you'll never believe who's been helping us find you."

"Who?"

"Selek, or 'Uzzer Spa'k, as Abby sometimes calls him," Jim told her with a small smile. "He joined us earlier this week. Apparently Spock, our Spock, contacted him about a month or so after…after you…left," he stumbled, "and he began researching what was happening on M'Qtobau. But you'll never guess who gave us the final piece of the puzzle that you were actually alive," his smile growing wider and cheesier.

Marissa looked at him expectantly. "Well?" she prodded when he didn't say anything more. "I can't imagine who."

"Queen Anidal'ai," Jim said with a comically wide grin.

"You're kidding!" Marissa replied, her mouth hanging open.

"I'm not," Jim told her. "Spock was suspicious of the stories we were getting from the M'Qtobau officials and from Starfleet – we all were. He began looking into UNISTAR. His father suggested contacting Selek, who eventually contacted Pike. It wasn't until the Queen had someone steal a pad from someone in UNISTAR and we heard the recording of a surrender response. Were you really the one to say 'nuts?'" he asked with a grin.

"You heard that?" Marissa asked, blushing. Jim nodded. "I was supposed to stay back in the cave and let Montiovo give the response, but I just couldn't help it. And I was so mad. It just came out."

"Well, I'm glad it did," Jim told her. "Between Veronique and Chekov, it was enough to convince Pike that you were alive and he went to the president."

"Veronique?" Marissa perked up. "Ronnie Meredith? She's here? On the _Enterprise_?"

"Yes, she is," Jim replied. "Starfleet assigned her about six weeks ago."

Marissa shook her head. "She must not have liked that at all."

"Not really," Jim agreed, "but she's done really well. She was the first one to recognize the significance of the phrase 'nuts.' So now we are here under direct orders of the President of the Federation. You've become quite the heroine according to Selek and Pike."

"I'm not a heroine," Marissa replied, nonplussed. "I was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"That's what all the heroes say," McCoy chimed in.

"I'm just glad to have you back," Jim told her.

"I'm happy to be back," Marissa said quietly, tucking her head under Jim's chin once again.

Jim caught McCoy's soft smile over the top of her head before the doctor looked away, giving them some modicum of privacy. Jim moved to bring his arm around her, his other remaining on her stomach. It wasn't easy to embrace while in a harness, but Jim was doing the best he could. He slowly rubbed small circles on her shoulder, closing his eyes and breathing in her scent.

"I missed you," he whispered into her hair, unsure if she could even hear him over the noise of the shuttle.

"I missed you, too," she whispered back, one of her hands coming to rest over his heart.

"Everyone kept telling me you were dead," he told her just as softly. "Everything pointed to them being right." He swallowed hard. "We were refused permission to come down to look for you and then we were ordered away." He paused, swallowing convulsively again, his voice low and gravelly. "If the Queen hadn't stolen that PADD…if she hadn't demanded we come to Cloral…if you hadn't said nuts…" he shuddered.

"There are some seriously talented people in security," she told him. "The whole team really deserves commendations and awards. With those random pieces of our comms that Roth removed right after our arrival and some parts we managed to steal…we were so close to building an array to contact you. And I knew the minute you heard, you'd be here."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner," he told her.

"Jim, you couldn't have…"

"I'm sorry I gave up," he interrupted.

"Gave up?" she lifted her head and looked at him curiously.

Jim wouldn't look her in the eyes.

"We've left atmosphere now," Sulu's voice interrupted their conversation. "Twenty-two minutes until we dock with the _Enterprise_."

There were cheers from the rear cabin. Jim pulled away, reaching for his harness release. "Let me go get you something to eat and drink," he said, still not quite meeting her eyes.

"Okay," Marissa replied, slightly bewildered. "Thanks."

Jim smiled slightly, and then stood up and moved to the storage cabinet at the back of the craft.

"Len?" Marissa turned to the doctor on her other side.

He looked at her sadly and shook his head. "It hasn't been easy," he told her. "You being gone…presumed dead. Jim didn't handle it well. Well, he did," he corrected himself. "He kept control of the ship and was a good captain and father, but inside…" he trailed off and shrugged helplessly as Jim came back holding two ration bars and bottle of water. He'd had one of the other crewmen distribute water to the other rescued crewmembers and relief team, not wanting to be away from Marissa so soon after finding her.

"Here you go, Mariss," he said as he sat down next to her again, his smile back in place. "Gourmet Starfleet ration bars and lukewarm water. One of them purports to be chocolate, if that helps."

"Thank you, sweetie," she told him, taking the bars and ripping one of the packages open with her teeth.

"Go slowly, there," McCoy warned. "Them things might be nutritious, but they have the consistency of sawdust. You'll need lots of water to get 'em down."

"As long as they don't taste like fish," Marissa said with a full mouth and a grin as she opened her water bottle. "I never, ever want to eat anything that swims in water again."

"Bit of a restricted diet?" McCoy asked.

"Towards the end, yes," Marissa nodded. "In the beginning we had enough supplies and some fresh produce coming in. Then they started hunting us and…" she shrugged, taking another bite.

Jim and McCoy shared pained looks over her head, but neither said anything.

"So, Abby," Marissa prompted after she finished the first bar. "She really is okay, right?"

"She's in better shape than either of you," McCoy said with his usual censoring frown. "The entire crew has taken care of her, except maybe for Scotty. She still hasn't warmed to the man."

Marissa chuckled, shaking her head as she took another bite. "Poor Scotty, he tries so hard."

"She actually seems to love the old pointy-eared hobgoblin," McCoy continued in slight disgust. "You may have trouble getting her away from him sometimes. I don't know what they talk about, but he seems to find her fascinating," he said, complete with air quotes. "And Chekov has almost grown some breasts; he's such a good babysitter."

Jim nodded in response. "He's the heavy artillery whenever I'm occupied and she won't calm down for anyone else. Once she has her Pasha she's fine."

"True," McCoy nodded. "It's entertainin' to see Chekov wrapped around her little finger – Sulu too, as much as she will tolerate him. She doesn't like to share her Pasha with anyone," his words softer so as not to carry, "and those two tend to spend a lot of time together."

"Oh really?" Marissa replied with a grin and raised eyebrow. "Any real progress?" she looked over at Jim.

"Nothing yet," he shook his head with a small smile. "They're still in the 'friends' stage. If it goes on much longer I'm sure Scotty will start another pool or something, if he hasn't already."

"Abby's just fine," McCoy continued on their original topic, "but she misses her mama. She'll be one right happy little girl when she sets eyes on you."

"Thank you, Len," Marissa said softly, her eyes suddenly watery again. She placed her small hand onto his arm.

"You're welcome," he told her, squeezing her hand in reassurance and friendship. "It was a group effort. We couldn't replace you, but we all did our best to make sure that she was taken care of. Jim especially."

Turning back towards Jim, she rested her head against his shoulder and sighed heavily. "I knew that. I knew Abby would be okay. I knew Jim would take care of her; that all of you would help. It hurt to be away, but I knew she would be fine. I just worried about…" she trailed off with a shuddering sigh, absently wiping a few tears that had managed to fall.

"Worried about what, Mariss?" Jim prodded softly, his worry evident as he took her hand in his.

She looked up at him and then over at McCoy briefly. "I worried about you, Jim."

This apparently startled him, as he pulled back slightly, his eyes shuttering for a moment, before he gave her a weak smile. "Me? I'm a big boy. It was…hard, but…" he faltered and then shrugged. "We made it through and you're here now and that's enough for me."

Marissa wanted to protest. She knew it couldn't have been that easy for him. She hadn't said anything, but she knew by the way he clung to her and wouldn't let her out of his sight that her absence had been traumatic for him. With his history, it couldn't have been simple, even if he hadn't loved her as he apparently did, but before she could say anything, she felt McCoy's hand on her arm and turned to see a slight shaking of his head. This was something they shouldn't get into now and maybe she should talk with the doctor first. Jim never was one to talk about himself and she really didn't want to push him away or make him uncomfortable right now.

"Now I'll want you in Medical first thing," McCoy broke in, changing the topic. "I suppose the captain can come along if he wants, but no arguments, missy."

Marissa laughed lightly, though it sounded brittle to her ears. "Okay, have it your way, Doc. Can I use one of the showers first? We haven't had enough decent bathing water in weeks and I feel filthy."

"Of course, though it's only sonics," he told her. "You can use up Jim's water rations later. I'll even throw in some clean scrubs, but then I'm giving you a complete scan. I'm pretty sure you'll be needin' some vitamins and a protein booster, too, and…"

"Bones," Jim said from his seat, his arm still around Marissa. "She'll come to Medical first thing. I wouldn't have it any other way, but until then…could you maybe go check on the others?"

McCoy was already reaching for his harness release as he grumbled. "Fine, fine. I'll walk around on this tin can without being strapped in. Don't mind me, I got things to do, people to see." He winked at Marissa, causing her to giggle, as he stepped over her and then purposely onto Jim's toes. "Sorry 'bout that Jim. Ain't got my space legs." He gave his friend a firm squeeze on the shoulder as he made his way towards the rest of the away team.

"I thought he'd never leave," Jim said dramatically, wrapping Marissa up in his arms again and kissing her forehead. If he closed his eyes and inhaled her scent one more time, nobody but Marissa knew it.

"He's a good man," Marissa stated, resting her head against Jim once again.

"And a good friend," Jim agreed. "Without him…"

"It's okay, Jim," Marissa interrupted as he seemed to struggle to find words, "we can talk about it later. For now I just want you to hold me."

"Aye, aye," Jim agreed promptly.

They sat together quietly for a few minutes before a soft cough caught their attention. Without letting go of her, Jim turned towards his communications officer standing nearby.

"What is it Hannity?" he asked.

"Sulu says we're about seven minutes out," she told them. "Do you want me to contact Rand and have her get Abby?"

Jim smiled at her thoughtfulness, but shook his head. "Thanks, but Bones wants Marissa in Medical right away and we don't know how long that might take. What time is it on the ship?"

"A little past 1500, sir," she replied.

"Contact Rand, let her know that everything went okay and that she should pick Abby up at the normal time," he said. "Hopefully we won't be more than an hour or two with Bones. That way we can have dinner as a family."

"Yes sir," Hannity nodded. As she turned to walk back to her station, she was stopped by Marissa.

"Dana?"

"Yes, Marissa?"

"Thank you," she said softly, "for thinking about Abby and…and me and…"

The blonde lieutenant smiled at her friend. "There's not a person on the ship who doesn't want to see you and Abby reunited as soon as possible, but it should be a private meeting. We've all missed you. The captain the most," she said quickly before exiting their alcove.

Jim stared after her dumbfounded, then looked down at Marissa, his cheeks red. "She's right, you know. I tried to…I tried to hide it, but I guess I wasn't that good at it. I can't even tell you how much I missed you and…"

Once again he struggled for words and Marissa took pity on him. Tucking her head under his chin, she reached for his hand. "Tell me about Abby," she requested. "How much has she grown? She was so little when I left. I'm afraid she won't remember me."

"She'll know you," Jim reassured her with a squeeze. "It may take her a minute or two, but she'll know you." He brushed some curls out of her eyes and tucked her hair, which had grown much longer, behind her ear. Resting his head against the top of her head, he continued softly, one hand absently stroking her belly. "She's maybe a few centimeters taller and has gained some weight," he told her. "She can eat with a fork now and she uses her napkin too. Most of the time." Marissa chuckled. "She still talks all the time – to me, to Sehlat, to her piano, to whoever is around – and her sentences mostly make sense. They have more words to them, but she still can't say her Rs. She likes to take her clothes off and run around our quarters naked and it's a fight to get her into even a diaper if we have a visitor. And she's started asking the men if they have boy parts."

"What?" Marissa laughed, looking up at Jim incredulously.

He shrugged and grinned down at her. "She walked in on me in the shower one day and…well, what could I say? You should have seen how Chekov blushed when she asked him. It was priceless."

"I can imagine."

"I've been waiting for her to ask Spock," Jim admitted, "but so far nothing." Marissa shook her head at his using his daughter to bait Spock, and tucked her head under his chin again. "But she's still a baby," he continued softly, "and she still needs her mama, no matter how well the crew has rallied around us, just like her daddy does."

"Oh, Jim," Marissa whispered, before Jim caught her lips in a deep kiss and didn't stop until Bones stumbled over them returning to his seat right as Sulu announced their imminent landing on the _Enterprise_.

Once the shuttles landed they had to separate long enough to remove their harnesses, but Jim grabbed her hand as soon as she was standing and led her to the hatch and onto the hangar deck. There were two or three dozen people milling about waiting for the returning crewmembers. Jim hadn't wanted to make a big fanfare event out of it, but he'd arranged with Rand to let the appropriate people know that their friends were returning if the mission was a success.

Everyone was rather shocked when Lieutenant Dick Scobee, one of the returning away team members, launched himself into the crowd, sweeping Ensign Mae Jemison into his arms. They all watched as he kissed her effusively. Some turned away to allow them some privacy, but since the couple was standing in the middle of the hangar bay it wasn't easy. Breaking apart, Scobee leaned forward and spoke softly to the woman in his arms who was beaming up at him, tears streaking down her cheeks.

Her loud gasp and delighted, "Yes! Dick, yes!" caused those around them to break into laughter and applause. Ignoring the crowd, Scobee picked up the young woman again and swung her around, before setting her down and kissing her again.

After a moment they surfaced to look at their audience, slightly dumbfounded and with silly grins on their faces. Scobee recovered enough to grin at Jim and Marissa who were standing at the base of the stairs to the shuttle, and salute smartly. "Just following the captain's example, sir!" he stated.

Jim gave him a thumbs up as Marissa applauded. "Very well, Lieutenant. Carry on." Chuckling, Jim turned and guided Marissa around the crowd in order to follow McCoy out of the shuttle bay. He watched her wave to a few of the assembled crewmembers, but he wasn't ready to share her just yet.

_And now back to originally scheduled updates! _

_Currently I have enough written to get us through mid-December and I'm not even to the good stuff yet. ;-)_

_As usual – please review!_


	2. Chapter 2

**Completion**

**Chapter 2**

In Medical each returning member of the away team was met by a nurse or physician's assistant as they trickled in and then was led to private exam rooms. They were all loaned a set of surgical scrubs until they could get their own clothing from the storage area, borrow from a friend, or visit the quartermaster for a new uniform.

Jim paced anxiously outside Marissa's room as she showered. He would have followed her in, but Spock had pulled him aside to ask him if he wanted to let Starfleet know of the recovery effort now or at a later date.

Jim just shook his head. "Have the helm lay in a course for Galdonterre. We're to meet Pike there in five days, whether we were successful or not. Until then maintain radio silence. I have an encrypted message I will send to Pike once I'm in my quarters, but nothing else should go out. We don't want anyone knowing we recovered the team."

"You do not believe that our transmissions are secure?" Spock asked.

Jim shrugged. "I don't trust Dekker or UNISTAR. If nothing gets out, then they don't hear anything. If they managed to find out about our mission and the President's knowledge of it, then they'd expect us to start sending messages home to the families. If we're silent they might think they are off the hook."

"And the returning crewmembers?" Spock pointed out. "What should we tell them? I imagine they will want to contact their families."

"Tell them that communications are down, or that we're in a black out area," Jim offered. "Look, I know it sucks, but bringing down Dekker and UNISTAR is more important. There's an old naval adage: 'Loose lips sink ships.' A couple days won't hurt anyone and once we reach Starbase 23 they can use the bases' communications array to talk to their families. I'll even foot the bill. They can talk for as long as they want."

"I do not believe simply telling the crew they are unable to send messages will be enough," Spock said. "Someone will attempt to circumnavigate the problem or fix the supposed error. Perhaps Lieutenant Uhura or I should arrange for a more…believable malfunction."

"That's a great idea," Jim agreed, with a distracted nod. "See to it, if you would, please, Mr. Spock."

Spock merely cocked his head to the side and nodded, before turning to leave. "I believe Lieutenant O'Donnell has exited her shower," he stated.

Jim hadn't heard anything, but he turned quickly to listen at the door. He couldn't hear a thing, but he trusted Spock. Knocking twice, he waited.

"Come in, Jim," Marissa called and he could hear the humor in her voice.

Opening the door he stepped inside and stopped cold. She stood in front of him in a set of blue scrubs, clean and with her hair out of its usual pony tail and now past her shoulder blades. She looked so small, and in the baggy scrubs it was obvious that she'd lost a lot of weight.

"What?" she asked self consciously, tugging her hair into a pony tail. "Do I look that horrible?"

"You look absolutely amazing," Jim told her honestly, once again taking her into his arms.

"But…" she prompted, looking up at him with a frown.

"But…" Jim said seriously, "you've lost a lot of weight. I could tell earlier, on the planet, but now…"

"It's more obvious," Marissa finished for him. Reaching down she tugged on the string holding her pants up. "These are two sizes smaller, and still too loose," she admitted. "I mean I always wanted to lose some weight, but this is ridiculous."

"Lose weight?" Jim looked at her incredulously. "Why the hell would you want to do that?"

She wryly grimaced up at him, barely stopping herself from rolling her eyes. "I always kind of wanted to wear the skant and actually, you know, look good in it." Jim made a derisive noise in the back of his throat. "But my butt was always an obstacle. Way too big for those little skirts."

"Hey, what did I tell you about saying bad things about your ass?" Jim said in a mock scolding tone. "There is nothing wrong with your ass."

"Good thing," Marissa grinned up at him impishly, "because even three months of short rations and three weeks of nothing but meal replacement bars and fish could barely make a dent in it. I think it's the only part of me that remained the same."

"Oh really?" Jim grinned lasciviously, his hands wandering down from her waist to cup her bottom. It was the first faintly sexual touch they had shared, beyond kisses, since he had finally found her and they both felt a frisson of awareness shoot through their bodies. Marissa's nipples immediately pebbled where they were pressed against Jim's chest, and his cock began to stir against her belly.

Before he could lean down and kiss her, the door swished open and McCoy walked in. "Teenagers, the lot of you," he said in his usual growl, giving them a put upon look. "First Scobee and Jamison and now you two. I shudder to think what Onizuka and Reznik might be up to without any supervision. Haven't you two had enough making out on the shuttle?" During his rant he started placing instruments and scanners on a tray and brought it over to the bio bed.

"Not even close," Jim told him honestly, releasing Marissa who hopped up on the bio bed at McCoy's pointed look.

"Sorry, doc," she told him with an unrepentant grin, swinging her legs like a little girl. "It's been a long time and I missed him."

"I know, darlin'," McCoy said, gracing her with a small smile and letting her know that he was just teasing. "I can't tell you how good it is to see you back on the ship."

"It's good to be back," she agreed. "Even if I've only seen the hangar and Medical so far."

"I'll get you out of here as quick as I can," McCoy promised. "I know you have other places you want to be." He was already focused on the bio bed readings above her head. "Tell me about how you've been feeling. Any morning sickness? Fatigue? Spotting or bleeding?"

"No, yes, no, no," Marissa immediately replied. "Aside from an occasional catnap on a cot, there weren't a lot of chances to rest. I was okay with the fresh supplies we had coming in, and the stockpiled rations weren't too bad, but once we had to start catching and eating fish…I totally lost my appetite."

"Fish is good for you," McCoy said absently. "Lots of good fatty acids and protein. Just what a pregnant lady needs."

"Well, they tasted horrible," Marissa told him with a moue of disgust. "I ate what I had to, but it always left me queasy."

"Well, you've certainly lost some weight," McCoy said, jotting something onto his PADD. "14.3 kg to be exact, and you're anemic. Did you ever pass out?"

Marissa shrugged. "A time or two," she admitted, "and I did get lightheaded occasionally, but mostly only when I stood up or moved too quickly."

Jim reached for her hand, not liking hearing how she had suffered. She smiled at him patiently. "We all had problems with the altitude," she told him honestly. "I did really well compared to the others. I grew up in the Rockies after all. Roth was great help. He would stay with me or carry me if I couldn't walk. He stuck to me like glue." She glared playfully up at Jim. "Don't you ever call him Cupcake again, Jim. He deserves a medal for all he did and how he took care of us."

"I'll look into it," Jim agreed with a pained smile. He was glad that Roth took his orders to heart and watched over Marissa, but it still hurt that she had been put in that position at all. She should have been safe on the _Enterprise_ with Abby and him.

"Jim, you gotta let go of her hand," McCoy scolded. "You're throwing off the biometrics."

"Sorry, sorry," Jim said, letting go of her, but not backing away from the table. "I don't need to defend your honor or anything?" he tried to quip, though it came out much more serious than he intended.

Marissa just shook her head. "Yes, Jim, there's such a huge chance for dalliance and illicit romance when you're hiding out and living in caves," she joked wryly. "He took your orders seriously and when I tried to get some alone time, to give me a moment of peace to myself he'd say, 'I'm just following the Captain's orders.'" She looked worriedly over at McCoy. "Is he okay?" she asked. "He really had problems with the thin air."

"I haven't seen him," McCoy responded. "One of the nurses is checking him out now. Don't you worry, darlin'," he gave her a pat on the arm, "I'm sure he's as healthy as a horse. Now do you know how far away you were from the city when the explosion happened?"

"We'd driven in a landcar about 60 km outside of Malloribia before we had to get out and start hiking up into the mountains," she explained. "We were going through a tunnel system when the bomb went off. We didn't even know it happened until we reached Alpha base."

"How long were you in the tunnels?" Jim asked.

"Almost three days," Marissa said, shuddering slightly. "It wasn't really a tunnel; more of a bunch of connected cave systems. Hamon in geology would have wet his pants, I'm sure, but I didn't like it much."

McCoy and Jim shared a concerned look. It was obvious to them that she really hadn't liked it at all from the elevated heart rate and breathing on the bio bed monitors and the sudden paleness that came over her face.

"We monitored the air quality after we found out about the explosion and never picked up a large increase in radiation. I thought about that later when I was really sure I was pregnant, but the wind direction was away from us so we didn't pick up much fallout from the atmosphere, if any. Honestly, I feel fine, aside from being tired and very hungry for real food. I'm just really happy to be home."

McCoy nodded as he continued to make notations, but then he looked up at her and smiled. "Well, it's nothing that a little R&R won't fix."

Marissa grinned over at Jim, reaching out to take his hand. "Pizza and cake for everyone! And strawberries. I would love some strawberries."

"I'll see what I can do," Jim finally spoke, his voice soft, but his eyes were worriedly following McCoy as he pulled out more equipment. "Bones, what are you doing?" he finally asked.

"Everything looks good," McCoy replied, plugging a wire into the bio bed and hooking it up to another contraption. "But I would like to do a more in-depth scan of the baby. Jim, relax. I'm certain there's nothing to worry about," he continued rapidly, seeing the blooming look of concern on his friend's face. "I just don't want to leave anything to chance. The thing is," he turned his attention to Marissa, placing a hand on her leg, "this scan is so clear, at four months we'll be able to see who this kid looks like and if it's a boy or a girl. Are you all right with that, darlin'? I can keep a secret, even if Jim here will try to get it out of me."

"It's okay," Marissa nodded. "It's a boy."

McCoy glanced at her in curiosity at the sureness in her voice. "Did you have any tests done on M'Qtobau?"

Marissa shook her head. "No, nothing like that. There was a midwife, but she didn't know anything about terran pregnancies. I just know." She shrugged her shoulders. "It feels different this time."

"Well of course it does," McCoy replied sarcastically. "You've been living in a cave under stressful conditions. It feels different," he muttered under his breath as he started up the machine and reached for a tube of gel.

"That's not what I meant," Marissa told McCoy and then looked over at Jim with a grin. "I just know it's a boy and if it is…that means I get to name him."

Jim nodded, though he still looked worried as he watched McCoy type on his PADD with one hand, the tube in his other. "If it's a boy," he agreed. "But it's fifty-fifty, boy or girl." He grinned lopsidedly at her, his thumb rubbing soothingly against the back of her hand. He couldn't seem to stop touching her now that the initial exam was over.

"It's a boy," Marissa said confidently, turning her head to watch McCoy. "Oh, you heated it up, doc," she laughed as McCoy squirted her belly with the gel he had used when she was pregnant with Abby.

McCoy winked. "Only for you, darlin' But don't get used to it. I just thought the captain might get upset with me if I caused you any more discomfort."

"Damn right," Jim agreed.

Marissa laughed again. "Like I haven't been bathing in mountain streams and sleeping in a cave."

Jim's eyes briefly took on a haunted look that neither Marissa nor McCoy missed. "You're back on the_Enterprise_ again," he said quietly, kissing the back of her hand. "Bones can heat up the goop."

McCoy and Marissa shared a look and Marissa decided to let what she wanted to say drop for now. Jim had been extremely attentive and… hands-on, since he'd found her. She knew he was happy to see her, but there was also an underlying desperation that broke her heart. It was something they were going to have to talk about later, but right now she wanted to give him the peace of mind that she and their son were both healthy.

"Heated gel is a one time offer, now hush while I get this done," McCoy scolded lightly.

"Yes, sir," Marissa replied.

After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, during which McCoy maneuvered the wand over Marissa's belly, entered info onto his PADD, and then pushed more buttons until Jim thought he was going to combust with worry, McCoy finally turned on the screen for Jim and Marissa to see. Even having seen it once before with Abby, though not with such clarity, both parents were awed by the sight of their child.

"His face… it's… the chin…" Marissa whispered in awe.

"It's pointed like mine," Jim finished for her, the same amazement in his voice.

"And the fingers, they seem longer," Marissa continued softly.

"Heart, lungs, and liver all look good," McCoy interjected in his no nonsense tone. "The skull and spinal cord are excellent, I was most concerned about that with the lack of proper food you've had. If everything stays on track, I'm guessing you'll have a 3 kilo kid."

"That's smaller than Abby," Jim commented with concern.

"True," McCoy nodded. "But if we get mama fattened up a bit he'll be bigger."

Jim's head shot up. "He? It really is a boy?"

"The lady is correct, look," as McCoy moved the wand around to focus on the little guy's lower belly and his obvious boy parts.

"A boy. You were right!" Jim whispered as her kissed her hand, suddenly excited about having son. All this time he'd known she was pregnant. They'd made the decision to have another child and had tried for months, but he'd never thought beyond them having a baby. Boy or girl hadn't mattered, but now he knew they were having a boy and all the things he could do with his son came rushing into his mind. This would be a totally different experience than having a girl.

"Jim, of course I'm right. Women know these things," Marissa said smugly, pulling down her shirt and moving to sit up, after McCoy had wiped away the gel and turned off the machine. Jim was standing immediately and helping her to shift her legs over the side of the bed.

"So, what are you going to name him, Darlin'?" McCoy asked. "Or are you going to make us wait?"

"No, I know," she said, leaning against Jim who had put an arm around her. "I'm going to name him after his daddy," she smiled beatifically over at Jim, who started to blush. "And you, doc," she added when McCoy started smiling with evil glee at Jim.

Both men managed to look flattered and disconcerted.

"Jim Junior?" McCoy asked, with a raised eyebrow and a dubious look.

Marissa laughed at the expression of distaste on Jim's face. "Now that would be confusing to have two Jims in the family, though I suppose we could call the baby James. But that's not it," Marissa shook her head, a gleam in her eyes as she waited for the men to figure it out.

"Then what…?" Jim began to ask, but then a horrified look began to cross his face. "Not…"

"Yes," Marissa was nodding vigorously. "Tiberius Leonard Kirk," she smiled widely.

McCoy looked stunned and Jim just looked disturbed.

"Darlin', you can't do that to a child," McCoy said slowly. "Leonard is bad enough, but at least it's the middle name. But Tiberius? That's just cruel."

"It's old fashioned," Marissa countered.

"It's ancient," McCoy responded.

"It's classic," Marissa replied, while attempting to glare at McCoy.

"More like classical," McCoy muttered.

"No, that's just the worst," Jim managed to mutter, running a hand through his hair as he looked between Marissa and McCoy who were having a staring contest.

His comment and expression made Marissa chuckle and she broke eye contact with McCoy. "It's a boy and I get to name him," she stated firmly, crossing her arms stubbornly over her chest, which caused both men to share a smile at the sudden resemblance to her daughter when the toddler was told she couldn't have something she wanted or when the adults around her were being particularly stupid in her opinion.

"Yes," Jim said slowly, "that's the deal." An uncomfortable look came over his face, but he managed a pained smile. "The lady is right, Bones. She gets to name him."

McCoy gave him a sour look. "You'd let her name the poor little guy Pegasus right about now, you're so happy to have her back," he said grumpily, transferring his glare to Jim.

"True," Jim smiled sheepishly, "but I might have to put my foot down at having my son called Peggy," he continued, surprising a chuckle from Marissa and McCoy.

"I don't want to name him Pegasus," Marissa said, calmly. "I want to name him Tiberius. You're lucky I went with Leonard. I actually like the name Horatio," she told McCoy.

"Lord help us all," McCoy threw up his hands. "I'm staying out of this. It's only getting worse."

"We can call him Ty, right?" Jim asked hopefully.

"Of course," Marissa nodded graciously causing McCoy to snort.

"You two rest here for a minute or two," McCoy told them. "I'm going to go pull the blood panel and get some meds."

"You said everything was fine, Bones," Jim accused, the worry suddenly back in his voice. Neither missed how he grabbed Marissa's hand once again.

"Everything is fine, Jim," McCoy said patiently. "But she has been living in a cave on short rations. I'm only getting her some vitamins and her pre-natals. Standard stuff. Nothing to worry about."

"Oh, good," Jim replied sheepishly.

They silently watched as McCoy left the room. Once the door slid closed, Marissa leaned against Jim, sighing when he brought his arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. "We're having a boy," he mumbled into her hair.

"Yeah. You're gonna have to learn a whole new diapering technique there, Kirk. You have to lean waaay back," she said as she chuckled against his chest.

Letting go of her shoulders, Jim placed his hand over her belly. She was so skinny, her four month belly seemed huge on her this time around. There was no extra padding at all. "Hello, Ty," he said softly with a small smile, rubbing his hand in small circles. "I'm your daddy and I'm very happy to finally meet you." On cue, he felt a fluttering kick against his palm.

"He's happy to meet you too," Marissa said, her voice watery, as she placed her hand over his. Tucking her head under his chin, Marissa gave a hiccoughing laugh. "Jim, I'm so happy to be home. I missed you so much."

Jim took a deep shuddering breath, squeezing her against him as if he could absorb her whole body. "I missed you too, Mariss. So much…I… there aren't words." He pulled away slightly and looked down at her, gently wiping away a tear as he stared at her, his heart in his eyes. "I love you."

"I love you more," was her soft reply.

The door slid open suddenly and McCoy strode in. "All right, I have…" He paused mid-step when he saw them huddled together. They hadn't broken apart, but he had the distinct impression that he'd interrupted something. "I'm sorry, I can…"

"Come on, Bones," Jim said, letting go of Marissa slightly. "The sooner you give Marissa your magic potions the sooner I can get her back to our quarters. She's hungry and she wants to see Abby. And I want her all to myself, too." he said softly, looking down at Marissa fondly.

"Right," she agreed with a wobbly smile. Turning to McCoy she sat up straighter. "All right, Doc. Give me your worst. I can handle it."

_Please review_


	3. Chapter 3

**Completion**

**Chapter 3**

Marissa and Jim walked hand in hand down the corridors of the _Enterprise_ towards their quarters, Marissa dragging her fingers along the lightly pebbled walls. After months in cold, damp caves she enjoyed the feel of warm, solid walls under her fingertips; the soft hum of the ship's engines barely perceptible, but still noticeable, like a comforting heartbeat.

"I'm nervous," she finally admitted softly as they stood in front of their door.

"Don't be," Jim reassured her, bringing her around to face him fully. "She missed you. She loves you. She will be thrilled to see you."

"I know but…" Marissa began hesitantly, not meeting Jim's gaze.

"No buts," Jim said, squatting down to catch her eyes. "Our daughter is waiting for you." Squeezing her hand, he straightened and triggered the door to open, tugging her inside.

The first thing that met her eyes was Janice Rand setting boxes onto the dining table, which was already set with plates and utensils.

"Marissa!" she exclaimed when she saw them. Coming forward, she engulfed the tinier woman in a hug. Her eyes were red, but her smile was wide as she pulled back to look at her long lost friend. "You're really here," she said before hugging her again.

"I am," Marissa agreed with a grin, her eyes watering up instantly.

Janice opened her mouth to say more, but then looked over at Jim. "We'll talk more later," she whispered. "Abby is in her room getting some guys," she told them. "She had a good day at daycare."

"Did you tell her?" Jim asked.

Shaking her head, Janice shrugged. "I didn't know what to say and…and I didn't want her to get worked up waiting. I did tell her you might have a surprise for her when you got back."

Jim nodded in understanding. "Thank you, Janice," he told her sincerely.

She nodded in return. With one last quick hug for Marissa and a whispered, "welcome back," Janice left them alone.

They stood there in silence for a moment, Marissa letting out a shaky breath as she looked up at Jim.

"Ready?" he asked her with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah," she nodded, clearing her throat nervously and wiping under her eyes. She'd done remarkably well so far. Sure, she had cried at times, but nothing too much. Some tears here, a hiccoughing laugh there; but now she was finally going to be reunited with her daughter and her eyes were already brimming.

Giving her a reassuring squeeze, Jim stepped to the head of the hallway. "Abby," he called, "I'm home."

There was a muffled thump and a happy cry of, "Dada!" that caused Marissa to gasp behind him, as Abby came out of her room and threw herself into her father's arms, giving him a big hug. He hadn't been gone long, not even a full day, but she was still enthusiastic.

"Supwise?" she asked him hopefully.

"Yes, I brought you a surprise," Jim told her turning to look over at Marissa who was totally focused on the toddler in his arms.

"Whe'e?" Abby demanded, looking in Jim's hands and checking for something at his feet.

"Right there," Jim said thickly, drawing Abby's attention to her mother standing in the middle of the room. "Do you know who that is, munchkin?"

Abby cocked her head and stared, a motion so reminiscent of her mother that Jim's heart hitched in his chest. Slowly her little hand came up to grip Jim's collar tightly, twisting it, as she leaned into him, her body now trembling in his arms, her eyes wide.

Marissa took a few steps closer so that she was in arms' reach, but she didn't try to touch them yet. She smiled brilliantly, though there were tears pouring down her face. "Hello baby girl," she finally said, her voice shaking. "You've gotten so big and I've missed you so much."

Abby still didn't say anything, though she slowly reached out a hand and patted her mother's face. "Mama?" she said, pulling back and looking at Jim expectantly. Jim nodded. "Mama come home?" she said in wonder.

"Yes, baby girl, mama's home," Marissa managed to get out, her smile brighter than Jim had ever seen. "Mama's home."

Before either of them could react Abby launched herself from her father's arms and into her mother's. "Mama!" she screeched. "Mama home! Dadda, mama home!"

Marissa let out a sob as she clung to Abby, holding her little body close as she breathed in the soft baby scent of her child.

"Oh you are so big, Abby girl," she laughed as she cried. "I've missed you. Missed you so much," she whispered, her voice cracking.

She looked over at Jim who was smiling as he watched them. Reaching out, Marissa pulled him in so that he was holding them both. Abby was happily babbling, but neither Jim nor Marissa were really paying any attention to her words, both were just happy and relieved to finally be together as a family; all four of them.

Jim's hand slid from Abby's back to rest on Marissa's belly. "Welcome home, Mariss," he whispered, placing a kiss to her forehead, "welcome home."

Marissa laughed and sobbed, squeezing Abby tighter as she leaned into Jim's strong embrace. "I'm home," she repeated softly.

"Mama home!" Abby agreed with a wide smile.

Dinner was pizza and salad, with Nana's chocolate cake for dessert. Jim watched as Marissa happily ate a slice of pepperoni and olive, closing her eyes as she chewed slowly, savoring the cheesy goodness.

"Oh my god, this is delicious," she moaned.

"Chef made all the favorite dishes of our returning heroes," Jim told her, chuckling as she huffed at his choice of words. "Everyone wants to make sure you all feel welcomed back."

"I definitely do," Marissa told him. "It's been a wonderful homecoming." Abby was sitting between them, so she reached behind her chair to take Jim's hand and give it a squeeze, before turning her attention to Abby. The toddler was enjoying her meal, happily sitting and chatting with Sehlat, feeding him bits of her pizza before eating it herself.

"Do you want another slice?" Jim asked. So far she'd only had one, which was unusual at best.

Marissa looked wistfully at the more than half a pepperoni pizza still left in the box and shook her head. "Not right now."

"You sure?" Jim prodded, trying not to sound worried even though he was. Marissa did not turn down pepperoni pizza and she certainly never stopped after one slice.

"Yeah, I'm sure," she nodded. "I don't want to over do it on the first day back. And I want to make sure I have room for cake!"

"Okay," he replied, drawing out the single word and trying to smile, but not really able to hide his worry.

Of course Marissa didn't miss it. "I'm fine, Jim," she reassured him. "I'm just not used to eating a lot and while it tastes wonderful, I don't want to over do it and spend the evening with a stomachache. I really don't want to have to visit Medical again so soon," she admitted wryly, drawing a laugh from him.

"Fair enough," Jim agreed, making himself relax.

After some cake and a quick clean up of Abby, they spent the rest of the evening sitting on the couch, Marissa cuddled against Jim as Abby played and chattered, showing Marissa all her toys and telling her about her friends and what she does while dada is at work.

Jim didn't say much, just let Marissa and Abby interact. Abby's comments and insightful take on her world and surroundings made him chuckle. She was so innocent, but extremely observant.

It was only when Abby began yawning every couple minutes as she leaned against Marissa and talked softly to Sehlat, Marissa's hands combing gently through her hair, that Jim decided he had to be the one to call an end to their evening. It was unlikely that either mother or daughter would do it.

"All righty, baby girl," he said leaning forward and slapping his hands on his thighs before moving to stand, "I think it's bedtime."

That seemed to wake her up. "No!" she instantly declared her eyes wide and her lips trembling as she threw her arms around Marissa. "No, ni-ni. No leave mama!" and then she burst into tears, surprising both Jim and Marissa. She'd been so happy all evening. They were both used to bedtime battles, but this was already more extreme than anything they'd seen before.

"Oh, Abby," Marissa said softly, gathering her crying child more fully into her arms, her own eyes filling with tears in response to Abby's distress. "Shhh, baby. Shush. Aren't you tired?"

Abby shook her head wildly before hiding her face against Marissa's neck, her small hands tangled in her mother's hair. "No. No ni-ni. Mama no leave."

At that statement Jim and Marissa shared a pained look.

"Abby," Jim finally said, sitting back down and placing a hand comfortingly on her back, "Mama's not going to leave. Mama's home. She's not going anywhere."

"NO! No! Mama no leave!" she began to howl.

"Oh sweetheart," Marissa said through tears that were now streaming down her face. "Mama's right here. I'm not leaving. I promise."

"No leave. No leave. No leave," Abby repeated over and over again, her voice becoming more and more hysterical.

"Abby!" Jim said, his voice firm, the beginning of a warning that she usually heeded, but he stopped when Marissa glanced at him and shook her head.

"Abby? Baby girl, look at mama," Marissa said gently, prying the little arms from around her neck. "Look at me," she encouraged, using her fingers to lift Abby's chin from where it was buried in her chest. "Mama's home, baby girl. I had to go away," she said thickly, "and it was longer than I wanted, but I'm not leaving again. I am home; with you and daddy. I'll work with Miss Maria in the library and I'll help daddy and Mr. Spock while you are with Ms. Daugherty and your friends in daycare, but I'm not leaving you, okay?"

"No leave," Abby whimpered.

"No leaving," Marissa agreed, hugging her tightly. "I'm going to sleep in the big bed with daddy just like before and in the morning when you wake up we'll have breakfast together, just like we used to. How does that sound?"

Abby sniffled for a moment and then looked up at her mother hopefully, her blue, blue eyes still sparkling with tears. "Sweep wif you?" she finally asked, wiping her nose with the back of her hand.

"Sleep…?" she looked over at Jim in confusion. Even as a little baby Abby had never shared their bed. Marissa felt that it was too dangerous and she believed that it was best for Abby to learn to sleep on her own. That hadn't stopped them from having her sleep next to their bed in a bassinet when she was really young or if she wasn't feeling well, but never in their bed.

"Uh," Jim started sheepishly, handing her some tissue to clean up Abby. "We might have gotten in the habit – occasionally – if it had been a bad day…she would sleep with me. It just made things…easier…for both of us. Sorry."

Marissa could only stare at him speechless for a moment, before reaching out to caress his face. "Don't be," she told him, her voice thick with tears. "If it…helped…" she shook her head. "Don't be sorry. I'm so sorry."

"What do you have to be sorry for?" Jim asked, his hand coming up to cover hers; pressing a kiss to her palm.

"I shouldn't have gone," she whispered, not able to meet his eyes. "We knew…suspected…but I was stubborn and I…I should never have left you and Abby."

"Now you stop," Jim countered, gripping her hand tightly in his. "You were doing your job. We couldn't have known it would have been this bad. We both expected two weeks, no more. It's not your fault. You were doing as you were ordered, so stop even thinking that. You're home now."

Closing her eyes, Marissa shook her head again, and swallowed heavily, before turning back to Abby. "How about you sleep with mama and daddy tonight, baby girl? Tomorrow you have to sleep in your crib, but tonight you can sleep in the big bed."

"O-tay," Abby agreed with a tired sniff, her head already resting tiredly on Marissa's shoulder, her hand grasping the collar of her shirt. "I's sweepy now."

Marissa chuckled wetly. "I know you are baby. Me too."

It didn't take long for the small family to get ready for bed. Marissa helped Abby get ready, while Jim went through his night time routine. Abby was out like a light the moment her head touched the pillow. Jim stayed with her while Marissa went through her routine. Jim would have to remember to thank Rand at some point. His yeoman had thought to stock the bathroom with an extra toothbrush and facial soap for Marissa, as well as one of Jim's old t-shirts.

Once they were settled in bed with Abby between them, they lay on their sides facing each other.

"It's amazing how much room an almost two year old can take up," Marissa smiled softly, moving one of Abby's feet away from her stomach.

"You're telling me," Jim smiled wryly. "I ended up with less bed than when I had you next to me. And we both know what a bed hog you are."

"Yeah, well, you steal the covers," Marissa countered, reaching for his hand and squeezing. "Did she…did she sleep with you often?"

Jim looked at her uncomfortably and if there had been enough light to see, he probably would have been blushing. "Not too often," he told her, his voice low and embarrassed. "At first it was…it was mainly for me; my comfort," he admitted. "I didn't like sleeping alone and she was…she was ours, you know? The only thing I had left and I…" His hand gripped hers convulsively. "And later, when she was missing you and bedtime was more of a battle, then…it was easier to give in."

"Oh Jim," Marissa whispered wetly, her tears starting again.

"Don't cry, Mariss," Jim said, letting go of her hand and wiping her face gently. "We made it and you're here."

"But what you went through…"

"Is over," Jim said decisively. "You are here now and that is what I want to focus on. Now you need to rest."

"Not exactly the homecoming night you were expecting, huh?" she joked.

Jim smiled. "We have the rest of lives together. I promise it will be filled with lots of loving, but tonight, having us all here together - this is perfect."

_Please review_

_As always, many thanks to Royalpinkdogs who has kindly and politely put up with my insecurities and brief forays into other storylines and couples. I'm back on task. I promise. ;-)_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Marissa woke the next morning with Abby's smiling face poking through her blankets inches from her face.

"Mo'nin' mama!" she chirped brightly. "Why you hidin'?"

Kissing her daughter's nose before stretching and excavating herself from her blankets, Marissa shrugged embarrassedly as she caught sight of Jim standing at the foot of the bed. "Habit," she replied, though Abby didn't really care for an answer. "It got cold in the caves."

Jim didn't say anything, though he frowned a bit before focusing on Abby. "Okay, munchkin. Sit at the head of the bed next to mama, feet out straight, and you and mama can have your breakfast in bed."

"Yah!" Abby declared, moving quickly from Marissa's lap and into position next to her.

"Breakfast in bed," Marissa smiled at Jim, raising her eyebrow with good humor. "Aren't we spoiled?

Carefully Jim set the tray down over her lap. "Wasn't sure what you'd want, so I went for the usual – nothing fancy."

"We gots o'meal n' toas' wif jwelly n' stwabewies n' apple jus fo' me 'n tea fo' you mama!" Abby told her excitedly, bouncing on her knees as she pointed out everything on the tray. Marissa had to hold it steady so it didn't spill.

"Abby, on your bottom," Jim reminded her with a frown that only made her giggle as she plopped herself back down. When she was settled he put a small towel over her lap and gave her the smaller bowl of strawberries and her juice cup. "We actually had breakfast earlier," Jim told Marissa as he settled on the bed next to Abby, "but Abby wanted to join you before she got dressed."

"We's hafin' a laze day!"

Marissa smiled, taking a big bite of her oatmeal. "Well, this is just lovely," she grinned down at Abby. "And perfect," she told Jim softly. "You're going to spoil me."

"Not possible," he told her, rescuing Abby's juice cup before it tipped. It was supposed to be spill proof, but he didn't want to chance it. "You haven't even been back for twenty-four hours yet."

Taking another bite and then picking up her tea, Marissa inhaled deeply before taking a sip. "So we have any plans for today?" she asked, setting down her cup and then popping a strawberry into her mouth. "Do I need to make my report?"

Jim shook his head. "Your report can wait a few days. And Spock can handle the ship for now. We're on our way to Galdonterre. I may have to stop by the bridge; see to a few things, but other than that, I'm free. It's just us, though people will be stopping by to see you. Earlier Uhura asked for visiting hours and I said between about 1000 and 1300 when Abby usually naps. I hope you don't mind."

Marissa smiled. "Not at all. I better hurry up and eat so I can shower."

"There's no hurry," Jim said. "Take your time."

"Are you kidding? I didn't get my hot shower last night, only the sonics in Medical, so I want to make sure I have plenty of time to enjoy myself. I don't want to keep anyone waiting because I'm using up your water rations," she told him playfully, only Jim didn't respond in kind, instead he frowned.

"I'm sorry. I didn't…" he floundered for a moment. "I should have…"

"Jim," Marissa interrupted, reaching out for him, mentally scolding herself. "There's nothing to be sorry about. Honestly once I was here with Abby, the thought of a shower didn't even cross my mind."

"I know," Jim nodded, not meeting her eyes, but holding onto her hand. "But you even said on the shuttle how much you were looking forward to a hot shower. I should have…"

"You and Abby are way more important to me than a hot shower," she said sincerely. "But now that I have some time…"

Jim looked at her tray. The strawberries were gone as well as most of the oatmeal. "Are you done? I can get you something else. Some more toast?"

"I'm good for now," Marissa assured, lifting up the tray and starting to stand. "Why don't you get Abby dressed and I'll shower and then we can prepare for visitors." By the time she was fully standing, Jim was already there taking the tray from her hands. "Thank you for breakfast," she said, leaning up to kiss him.

"You're welcome," he replied somewhat shyly.

"So Abby, mama's going to go take a shower," Marissa told the toddler. "Why don't you get dressed? I know jammies are comfy, but I think it's time to start our day."

"I gets pick?" Abby asked, looking between her mother and father.

"You can pick," Jim said with a smile. "But you have to put on clothes. No swimsuits."

There was a momentary mutinous look in Abby's eyes before Marissa chimed in. "Can you pick something pretty? I think we're going to have visitors this morning and I know you want to look your best, right?"

"O-tay," Abby agreed, bouncing off the bed. "I be's pwetty."

Jim and Marissa watched her race to her room with fond smiles on their faces. "Well, at least she agreed to clothes," Jim said wryly.

"Agreed to clothes?" Marissa questioned.

Jim shook his head in mock exasperation. "Our daughter is a nudist in training."

"Oh really?" Marissa asked, eyebrows raised incredulously.

"Really," Jim nodded. Giving her another kiss, he turned her toward the bathroom. "Go enjoy your shower. Abby and I have everything else covered."

Without an argument Marissa made her way to the bathroom and closed the door. She was relieved to see soap, shampoo and conditioner, as well as a razor already in the shower waiting for her, so without another thought she stripped off the shirt that she had been wearing and turned on the water, upping the usual temperature by a good five degrees.

It was probably one of the longest showers she had ever taken, and she probably should have felt guilty about the waste of water, but instead when she stepped out she felt deliciously pruny and wonderfully clean and smooth. After the first few weeks she had gotten used to having hairy legs and underarms, but that didn't mean she liked it. She rooted through the cabinets but couldn't find any lotion other than Abby's, so with a shrug, she used it. She didn't mind smelling like baby powder.

With a towel wrapped around her hair and another around her body, she went into the bedroom to find some clothes. Without thinking she opened the top right hand drawer of the dresser only to find Jim's socks. She paused, looking down at the few pairs of black and white socks, and one pair of purple with hearts on them that she'd given him as a joke. This used to be her underwear drawer.

Closing it slowly, she began to open the other drawers, knowing what she'd see, but having to face it. Each drawer was half full, or less, with Jim's clothes – shirts, underwear, shorts, workout clothes, pants. They used to laugh at how crammed the drawers were because they were sharing; they'd made comments about commandeering another dresser so they could actually close the drawers easily, but they'd continued to share; continued to cram things in. And now they were practically empty because her clothes were gone. Because she had been gone from Jim's life.

There was a huge lump in her throat as she quietly closed the bottom drawer and walked over to the closet. Again, it was sparsely filled with only Jim's clothes, both casual and professional. Not a trace of anything of hers. And why should there be? She asked herself. She had been gone. She had been _dead_. Of course Jim wouldn't keep her clothes and things lying around. He wouldn't want or need the reminder.

The sparsely filled closet only emphasized her absence and the fact that they had been separated for four months. She, at least, had had the knowledge that Jim was alive and well out in space somewhere; and the hope that one day they would be reunited. Jim hadn't had that. He'd had no choice but to believe that she was gone for good; and that the only thing he could do was move forward.

The thought sent a chill down her spine, so wiping away a stray tear, Marissa closed the closet and looked around, trying to focus on the here and now. Maybe Rand had thought to unearth her things that Jim had packed away. Sure enough when she looked around, there were two boxes in the corner, halfway hidden by one of her bookshelves. She frowned. That didn't seem like a lot.

Picking up the top box, she carried it over to the bed and broke the seal. Inside was her underwear and bras, but not the standard issue stuff, though there was some of that on the bottom along with some socks. No, the top of the box was filled with her fancier undergarments. The silk and lacy items that she'd bought on Stratnon and that Janine had sent her as jokes and for 'inspiration.' Choosing some basic items from the bottom of the box, Marissa slid them on, puzzled that these were the things Jim had saved. Sure, she had fond memories of wearing them, but…it just seemed strange.

Opening the other box after she lugged it onto the bed, Marissa was once again surprised. On top was the skirt and top she had worn on their night out with Len and Janine after Abby was born, and under that was the dress she had worn to the formal dinner on Stratnon. Underneath those items were shoes – work shoes, tennis shoes, the sandals she wore to the pool, the high heels she wore with her dress uniform, her worn out slippers – but no other clothes.

She stood back, hands on her hips, and stared at the two boxes, utterly confused by what they held.

"While I love the outfit," Jim said, only his head visible as he peeked in the door, "I think it might make Chekov blush," he told her with a grin.

With the partly door open Marissa could hear Abby chattering and a Russian accent answering, as well as a deeper laugh, which meant Sulu had probably come with him. She must not have heard the door chime.

"Jim," she said, perplexed. "I don't have any clothes."

"Uh…" Jim flushed, checking behind him before stepping into the room and closing the door. "What about the scrubs you wore yesterday? You can have one of my old academy sweatshirts to keep you warm and later we can ask Janice to…"

"Jim, why are there only boxes of my underwear and shoes?" Marissa asked.

He awkwardly ran a hand over the back of his head, ruffling his hair, and looked at her uncomfortably. "Because they weren't on the list?" he said hesitantly.

"List?" Marissa asked, as she pulled on the scrubs. "What list?"

Jim shook his head, handing her one of his sweatshirts. "I'll explain later. Chekov and Sulu are waiting," he said as he led her to the door, the sweatshirt barely over her head.

"Wait!" Marissa stopped. "My hair, I need to…"

"Okay, I'll entertain the troops, you go fix your hair," Jim agreed, giving her a quick kiss on the cheek before fleeing the room.

Marissa shook her head in confusion. What was going on?

The morning flew by with people coming and going from their quarters. Chekov and Sulu led the charge, followed by Maria Roose, Marie and Shani from cartography, Hannity, and many, many more. Abby was in raptures with having so many visitors and Marissa shed more than a few tears. Most didn't stay too long, only wanting to welcome her home and see her with their own eyes. Jim must have let it be known that what happened on M'Qtobau was off limits, so she didn't have to answer any awkward questions, but she did confirm that she was expecting again and that her rough living hadn't affected their baby in any way. The looks of dawning understanding and pity that were sent Jim's way didn't escape her notice either.

There were dozens of congratulations and hugs and welcome backs, so that by the time lunch rolled around Marissa and Abby were both exhausted. Jim had managed to sneak out at some point to 'deal with an issue' so it was Rand who rescued them with a late lunch from the mess.

"The captain will be back shortly," she informed them, putting their lunch table. "He was on the bridge talking with Mr. Spock."

"Chicken," Marissa muttered good-naturedly, as she looked under the heating dome at her lunch of beef stew.

"We's hafin' chick'n, mama?" Abby asked, pulling herself up onto her seat.

"No baby girl," Marissa chuckled. "I think you're having grilled cheese. Daddy's the chicken."

"Dada's no' a chick'n!" Abby laughed, taking a bit of her sandwich. "He'sa dada."

"Yes, he is," Marissa agreed, sharing a grin with Rand. "Janice, I was wondering if you could have someone bring up any more boxes of my things from storage. I appreciate what you did bring, but I could do with more than underwear, shoes and a few fancy outfits."

Janice straightened from where she had been placing Jim's lunch on the table. "Well, you see, Marissa," she started uncomfortably. "There isn't anything else."

"There isn't anything else?" Marissa repeated dumbly as she looked over at Jim's yeoman. "Nothing?" Janice shook her head sadly. "But…I don't understand. Why would he…why would he throw away my clothes but keep…" she trailed off.

"It's not my place to say anything," Janice told her. "Ask him. It was really hard on him and…" she wrung her hands. "Look, I'll go see what I can rustle up from the quartermaster and…I can borrow something from Marie or…or…"

"No, don't borrow anything," Marissa told her, still confused. "A uniform would be fine, or better yet some sweats. I can live with the scrubs and use Jim's shirts and sweatshirts until we get to Galdonterre. I'll be fine. I was just wondering…"

Janice was already halfway to the door. "I'll have something for you by the time Abby's up from her nap. I promise," she told Marissa before she left the room.

"Huh," Marissa said to herself as she sat back in her chair, her lunch forgotten in front of her. She smiled briefly over at Abby who was happily munching away at her lunch, and then let her eyes scan over the room, once more taking in the things that she had noticed were missing as she'd chatted and visited.

Most obvious was the painting of Na'fern and its many moons that she'd purchased when she'd gotten her commission on the _Enterprise_. When she'd moved in with Jim, she'd hung it above the entertainment unit. It was a soothing piece and always reminded her of her roots. She'd written her first paper, at the age of thirteen, about a failed colony on one of the moons of Na'fern; a paper that led her to Harvard and eventually Starfleet and Jim.

She was surprised she hadn't noticed the picture the night before, honestly, but now that she had, she began noticing other things, things that had once been displayed on the static shelves she'd brought into Jim's quarters. What was odd was that while many things were missing, some things were still in place, though spread out so that there weren't any obvious holes. But most troubling of all was her quilt. She hadn't seen it at all and she'd even made a trip into Abby's room to see if it had migrated to her crib.

"So how were visiting hours?" Jim asked with a smile as he breezed into their quarters, giving Abby and Marissa kisses on the top of their heads. "Did you have fun?" They'd already eaten halfway through their lunch, not knowing when he would show up. From the massive bite Jim took of his sandwich he appeared to be starving.

"Yeah!" Abby exclaimed.

"Yes, it was nice," Marissa smiled at Abby's enthusiasm, even with her tired, red eyes she still seemed raring to go. "I think just about half the ship stopped by."

"Well, you were missed," Jim said, not quite looking at her as he took another big bite of his roast beef sandwich. "I think Roth and Reznick and the others were just as busy."

"That's good," Marissa replied. "We all missed the ship and our friends and families too. I'm sure Judith has already contacted her fiancée on 15 by now. She said that was the first thing she planned on doing, that and asking for a transfer to his base."

"I'll be sorry to see her go," Jim said, taking another big bite.

"Me too," Marissa agreed. "We became pretty close on M'Qtobau, but I can't blame her for wanting to be with the man she loves." She smiled over at Jim, who smiled fondly back.

"No, I can't blame her for that," he agreed.

"Speaking of families," Marissa said after a few more spoonfuls. "Can I set up a time to call Nana and Dad?"

Jim shook his head and took a bite of his sandwich.

"I can't?" Marissa asked in shock.

"It's not that you _can't_," Jim said, before chewing further and swallowing, "it's that you can't. There is an issue. With the array."

"And that makes it so much clearer," Marissa commented suspiciously.

Jim wiped his mouth and shoved the rest of his meal away before reaching over to ruffle Abby's hair. "All done, Munchkin?"

"Awl dun," she agreed with a nod.

"Ready for a nap?"

She looked back and forth between her parents, her lower lip beginning to tremble slightly.

"I know you're tired," Jim said, picking her up and putting her in his lap. "And I think mama is too. Maybe you can take a nap together? Would that be nice?"

"That sounds wonderful to me," Marissa told Abby with a smile, though she frowned slightly at Jim's evasive answers and change of topic.

"Why don't you finish your lunch, Mariss," Jim told her as he stood up with Abby, "and I will get the munchkin ready for her nap."

"Stowey?"

"Yes, you can pick out a story," Jim told her, as he passed by Marissa and gave her shoulder a squeeze. "Meet you in the bedroom?"

"Sure," she nodded, reaching for Abby's and his dishes.

"Leave them," Jim told her. "Just finish eating. I'll clean up when you're done."

"I can…"

"Leave it, Mariss," Jim interrupted her. "I got it. Don't worry."

By the time Marissa had finished her stew and gone to the bathroom, Jim had changed Abby into her 'big girl diaper' for sleeping and the two of them were laying in bed waiting for her.

"Mama weed," Abby told her, holding out a book.

"Of course, baby girl," Marissa smiled.

"Well, then I will let you two…" Jim began.

"Dada stay!" Abby demanded, grabbing his arm.

"Okay," Jim immediately replied, settling back down on the bed and giving Abby a kiss on the head. "For a little bit."

That seemed to be enough for Abby, as she settled in next to Marissa and let Jim pull up the blankets, Sehlat tucked in her arms. Marissa opened the book and began to read, her throat a bit hoarse at first as she realized how long it had actually been since she'd read her daughter a story. Jim smiled at her sympathetically as she managed to find her voice. Abby was asleep halfway through the story. When she noticed, Marissa quietly closed the book and set it aside.

"She's getting so big," she whispered softly to Jim. "She had Maria take her to the bathroom at one point today."

Jim nodded, one hand stroking the hair off Abby's face. "She's been doing pretty well with the potty training. We had a break through one night and it just seemed to click. She only wears a diaper now when she's sleeping – just in case."

"I've missed so much," Marissa sniffed.

Jim reached for her, his hand gentle as he wiped away a tear. "But you're here now and we have so much more to look forward to. You're not going to miss anything else."

"No, I'm not," Marissa agreed, using the sheet to wipe off her face. "I won't…I can't…" she seemed to shudder slightly as she searched for words. "I had some time to think on M'Qtobau," she said, snorting at her obvious understatement. "And I don't think I want to do this anymore. I don't think I can. Not with Abby and…" her hand came to rest on her belly.

Jim looked at her, his expression both confused and worried. "Don't want to do what, Mariss? Do you…do you want to leave Starfleet?"

"What? No!" she immediately replied, not surprised to see the look of relief on Jim's face, fleeting though it was. "I don't want to leave Starfleet. I just don't want to…I don't think I can…do away missions any more. I thought that's what I wanted, but when it took me away from you and Abby, and now we have another…I just don't think I can do both; be a mom and be…what I'm supposed to be on the ship. I'm sorry," she finished on a whisper, her eyes downcast.

"Hey, hey," Jim said softly, scooting as close as he could with Abby between them. "Relax. It is way too soon to even be making decisions like that."

"But…"

"I totally understand," he interrupted, placing a finger over her lips. "I don't particularly want you leaving this ship at all – unless you're with me on shore leave," he added with a small grin, "but…I'm not going to limit you and I'm not going to let you limit yourself. You've been through a very traumatic experience. You and the others will have weeks of counseling and what not to help you work through it all."

"That sounds like fun," Marissa commented under her breath.

"Fun or not, you will need it," Jim told her. "Just like you'll need time with Abby to get back into your old routines and such. If after all that you decide that you don't want to do away missions, well then fine. You won't. There are plenty of things you can do on the ship that will further your research and help the ship and the Federation. Hell, you can coordinate any contacts and act as an advisor like you did for the _Antares_ when Abby was born, but that's a decision to be made in the future. Not now when you're just back."

"But my mission brief…"

"Can be changed," Jim interrupted her again, taking her hand and squeezing it. "We can rewrite it. And after the clusterfuck that M'Qtobau turned out to be, I'd say Starfleet owes you whatever you want."

Marissa frowned in confusion at his sudden vehemence. "Starfleet owes me? Jim, it was just bad circumstances…the wrong place at the right time, or whatever. Starfleet didn't have anything to do with our being stuck on M'Qtobau. UNISTAR was the problem, not Starfleet."

Jim took a deep breath. "Yes it did," he told her, his voice calm and controlled. "I will explain more later, but…I don't want to say or do something that colors your testimony."

"My testimony?" Marissa asked in confusion. "Am I on trial for something?"

Jim shook his head. "You're not. But someone is and…I'm not going to say anything more, okay? We're on our way to Galdonterre. We should be there in four more days, so…until then can you…can you just…trust me and enjoy being back? I'm sure reality will hit soon enough, but until then, I just want you to relax and enjoy being back with us. And maybe put on a few pounds," he added with a playful wink, but it didn't do much to lighten the mood.

"Okay, Jim," Marissa finally agreed. "I really don't want to do anything but spend time with you and Abby, anyway."

"Good," Jim gave her a quick kiss and then went to stand up. "I have some stuff I need to look over in my – our – office, so I'll be here when Abby wakes up. Sleep as long as you need."

"Okay," Marissa nodded. "Jim?" she called out as he was about to leave the room. "I really would like to talk with Nana and dad."

Jim stopped in the doorway, both arms pressing into the frame. "I know, Mariss," he said with a frown, "but you can't right now. There's something wrong with the communications array…something outside on the ship and…we can't get any messages out. But as soon as we're at Galdonterre, I promise, I will get you a priority one line to Nana Rose. I promise, okay?"

"Of course," Marissa responded, her eyes taking in his tense posture and the way he wouldn't meet her eyes. "Everything is all right, right? Nana and dad and Nancy are…they're okay, right?"

"They're fine," Jim told her immediately. "As far as I know they're…nothing's wrong. It's just the communications array. We have to get it fixed."

Sliding down into the bed, she smiled at Jim. "Okay, Jim. But I'll hold you to the priority one line." Jim nodded and gave her a half smile before triggering the door to slide shut. Marissa sighed. Jim had never lied to her before, so why was he lying to her now? Deciding that he had his reasons and she should trust him, she closed her eyes and let Abby's soft huffing breath lull her into sleep.

_Please review_


	5. Chapter 5

**Completion**

**Chapter 5**

She slept longer than she meant to, that was for sure. Vaguely, Marissa remembered Abby patting her face and Jim's voice whispering, but that was the extent. Looking at the chrono, she realized she'd easily slept four hours. It felt good to be able to sleep as long as she wanted; and to sleep warm. There had been so many days and nights where sleep had been hard; either because of activity in the cave or her own fears or just being so cold and missing Jim and Abby. To sleep for four hours in the middle of the afternoon was such a luxury.

Stumbling out of bed, she made her way into the bathroom. After washing her hands she forced herself to really look in the mirror and check her reflection, making herself note the changes in her appearance that she had avoided yesterday. Even with only three full meals, she could already see a difference around her face and jaw, but she was still quite skinny and boney. The dark circles under eyes that she had seen in Medical yesterday had lessened considerably with sufficient sleep, hydration and adequate nutrition, but her cheeks were hollow and the muscles in her neck appeared ropey. Having battled a soft, pudgy build all her life, seeing herself look so skinny was a shock. She was wearing a set of scrubs that were two sizes smaller than her usual size and they still required a much tighter waistband to keep them from sliding. How had this happened? Had she been gone that long?

There was a soft knock on the door. "Mariss? You okay in there?" Jim's voice called, his worry evident.

She cleared her throat and moved to open the door. "I'm fine," she told him with a smile. Apparently it wasn't sincere enough because Jim continued to frown worriedly.

"You sure?"

Nodding, she stepped past him into the bedroom to find her slippers. "I'm fine, really. Just…taking stock."

"Okay," Jim replied, not pushing, for which she was grateful. "Hungry?"

Marissa snorted. "Not really, though I know I look it."

"Mariss, that wasn't meant as a…I didn't mean to…" he stammered.

"I'm sorry, Jim," Marissa reached out to him, letting him pull her close for a hug. "I didn't mean it like that. It's just hard. I've been living in a cave for months – no mirrors, you know? And to be here, in my home and to see myself…like this…how did I not scare Abby away? I don't look anything like myself. At all and it's just…Everyone keeps offering me food and I'm honestly not hungry, but…"

"Hey!" Jim interrupted her. "Yeah, it was a shock, seeing you. And I'm sorry about the food thing. I know I kind of pushed it last night and this afternoon, but…it seems like it's the one thing I can do – give you food to build up your strength and all that. I was actually asking if you were hungry because Abby wants to go have dinner in the mess and I wanted to know if you were up for that or not."

"Of course I am," Marissa replied honestly. "And I'm sorry for being so touchy. But seriously Jim, the only thing I need from you is for you to be here; to hold me, like this. That's what I missed most. The touching and the holding and the…kissing," she blushingly smiled up at him.

"Missed that, did you?" Jim smiled down at her and she nodded. "Well, I will gladly make up for lost time. I missed holding you too," he admitted with a squeeze. "Last night wasn't nearly enough and I know we were in the same bed, but…"

"It wasn't enough."

"Not at all," Jim agreed. "And tonight, when we get the munchkin to sleep – in her own bed – and it's just you and me," he waggled his eyebrows at her suggestively. "Until then…we'll just have to make do with hugs and kisses whenever we can."

"It will be like being in high school," Marissa laughed lightly after Jim kissed her.

Jim gave a lop-sided smile. "I don't think either of us had a normal high school experience, but we can pretend. After Abby's in bed though…" he leaned in to give a brief, but tender kiss.

"I'll look forward to it," Marissa whispered, going up on her tip toes to kiss him further.

"Dada!" Abby cannon balled into the back of Jim's legs, causing him to stumble and Marissa to laugh. "Les' go!"

"All right, munchkin, all right, we're going," Jim told her, picking her up and tossing her into the air. "Are you ready? Do you have Sehlat?"

She nodded, giggling even more as he tossed her up again.

"Where? I don't see him," Jim countered. "Are you hiding him in your shirt?" He lifted her shirt and blew a raspberry on her belly.

"No, dada. Sehlat oder dere," she managed to get out between laughing breaths as she pointed towards the couch.

"Well, go get him," he told her, plopping her on the ground and giving her a gentle smack on her bottom to get her moving.

Jim and Marissa were just coming together for another kiss when Spock's voice interrupted them over the comm.. "Captain?"

Jim sighed, letting his head hang on to Marissa's shoulder. "What Spock?"

"If I can have a moment of your time on the bridge…"

"We were just about to head to the mess for dinner," Jim told him. "Can this wait?"

There was a pause while Spock weighed the options on whether to interrupt family time now that Marissa was finally back or insist on the captain's assistance.

"He'll be right there, Spock," Marissa spoke up. Jim gave her a sharp look but she shook her head. "I don't suppose you need him for very long. Abby and I are hungry."

"No, his presence will only be needed for a few minutes," Spock replied. "Thank you, Lieutenant. And welcome back."

"Thank you, Mr. Spock," she replied graciously. "And if you are available, you and Nyota are more than welcome to join us for dinner."

"I may be detained, but I will pass along your invitation," Spock told her. "Captain, I will see you shortly. Spock out."

"It could have waited," Jim told her in amused exasperation.

Marissa shrugged. "I know, but then it would have been hanging over our heads. This way I get to clean up a little more, Spock gets his moment and Abby and I meet you in the mess in say…ten minutes?"

"Sounds good," Jim said, giving her a firm kiss. "See you soon. I'll break the news to the munchkin and send her in."

"All right," Marissa replied, turning to the dresser. "I'm going to see if I can come up with another shirt that doesn't hang on me. Janice said she'd get me a uniform or some sweats, did she…"

"It's right here," Jim said, opening the closet and pulling it out. "She said she guessed on size, but it should be close enough. Better than the scrubs at least."

"Thanks. I'll meet you soon," she leaned forward for a kiss.

Once Jim left, Marissa changed into the sweats and long sleeve shirt Janice had left her while Abby jumped on the bed, being as patient as a toddler could be. The outfit was two sizes smaller than normal, but the fit was still awkward. The top was okay around her shoulders and arms, yet tight across her chest and belly due to her pregnancy. She had the same problem with the sweats – tight across her belly, yet saggy in the butt and thighs.

"Well, it's better than the scrubs," Marissa sighed to herself as she ran a brush through her hair and pulled it back into a pony tail. "How do I look, baby girl?" she turned back to Abby.

"Mama wowk out?" Abby asked with a small frown.

"No, I'm not going to the gym," Marissa told her daughter, holding out her hand. "Mama just doesn't have a lot of clothes right now and these are comfortable."

"O-tay," Abby nodded, already pulling them towards the door. "I's hungwy."

"Lead the way, Abby girl," Marissa laughed, letting herself be tugged down the hallway and to the lifts.

As they headed down the corridor Abby spied Lieutenant Uhura coming out of her quarters. "Ny Ny! We's goin' to has din'wer wif dada in da mess!" she crowed. "Yous come?"

"I think I will," Uhura said with a smile, squatting down to give Abby a hug. "How are you and your mama doing today?"

"We's had wisitehs 'n a nap 'n mama sweep long time," Abby informed the other woman. "'N dada 'n me pwayed wif my guys 'n now we has din'wer."

"Wow, you've had a busy day."

"Uh huh," Abby agreed. "I cawl lift!" she demanded, letting go of Marissa's hand and running the last bit until she could stand on her toes and reach the signal pad.

"So, how are you doing?" Uhura asked, with a sideways glance at Marissa. "It's so good to see you," she added with a smile.

"I'm doing well," Marissa replied easily. "I had breakfast in bed and having everyone visit was nice, but exhausting. Janice brought lunch for us and then I did manage to sleep for four hours," she shook her head wryly. "It was a luxury. Now I have some clothes that mostly fit and we're going to have dinner. It's been a wonderful day."

"Clothes that…" Uhura started in confusion and then she seemed to understand. "Oh. I guess none of us thought of that. We were just so excited to get you guys back that we forgot about your clothes."

"Janice managed to get me some toiletries, but…there were only two boxes of stuff in storage and those were filled with shoes and underwear and socks," Marissa commented, trying to sound casual, but hoping that Uhura would give her something to go on.

"Yeah, there would be," Uhura finally commented, shaking her head. "See, Marissa, Kirk was…he had a hard time dealing with…you being…"

"Dead?" Marissa chimed in softly.

"Yeah," Uhura nodded sadly. "And when he had to pack up your things." She sighed. "I'd never seen him so miserable and then he had to send it away and…"

"Wait," Marissa interrupted. "He had to pack it up himself? And send it away? Send it where?" she asked in confusion. Technically wouldn't her things have belonged to Abby, if not Jim? Wouldn't he have saved at least some of them – and not her fancy underwear and shoes – for their daughter? She could remember spending hours as a child playing in some of her mother's clothes that Nana had saved. It had made her feel closer to the woman she had only seen in pictures.

Uhura looked at her uncomfortably, but then started to explain. "He said it was his responsibility, his job. As for sending it away…you really need to ask him. It really wrecked him; after everything else... McCoy even asked me to keep an eye on him on the bridge."

"I'm really going to have to talk to Len soon," Marissa said softly, pulling Abby away from the lift doors in case they started to open. Uhura's 'after everything else' sounded ominous. "But I don't understand why he had to…"

"Ask him," Uhura interjected.

"We've both been so distracted by Abby that we've barely had any time together," Marissa admitted. "So far I can't get much more out of him than he missed me."

Uhura gave an amused chuckle. "That's an understatement. He was just going through the motions. Yes, I see Sehlat, Abby" Uhura smiled, turning her attention to the little girl. "_Tonk_-_peh_, sehlat."

"_Nashaut_, Ny Ny," Abby responded.

Marissa shook her head wryly. "Speaking Vulcan better than English, what can I say?"

Just then the turbolift doors opened, and Abby's happy screech of "Dada!" alerted them as to who was riding in it. Before she could think, Jim scooped Marissa into a big hug and gave her a resounding kiss, before doing the same to Abby.

"I swear, Kirk. Have you ever heard of subtlety?" Uhura scoffed, though there was a warm glint in her eye as she watched the reunited family. She pushed the button for the mess level.

"Nope," Jim grinned at her, winking. "Never. Are we ready for dinner, Abby girl?"

"Ise cweam?" Abby asked hopefully.

"Ice cream? That's not a very good dinner," Jim laughed. "We'll leave that for dessert and only if you eat a good dinner."

"Stwabewwies?" Abby asked.

"I don't know, baby girl," Jim shrugged. "You had some for breakfast. There might not be any left. And you need to eat some vegetables too. How about you, Mariss?" he asked, as he led them out of the lift and to the food line. "Anything you want?"

"Anything, sweetie," she replied with a wobbly smile. "Anything is wonderful, even replicator food." Jim seemed about to say more, but Abby drew his attention away.

"He's so good with her," she said softly to Uhura who had come to stand next to her.

"He is," she agreed. "He's a wonderful father."

"I knew that, but…"

Uhura gave her a reassuring squeeze. "You being gone was hard on them both, but they managed. Not well sometimes, but they managed. I have to admit it's so good to see that sparkle back in Kirk's eyes - just don't tell him I said that."

Marissa gave a watery laugh. "I won't. Promise." She waved at Abby who was motioning for her to follow them. "I'm coming baby girl, I'm coming."

When they had their trays full, Marissa followed Jim and Abby toward a favorite spot near the hallway door where they could join McCoy and Sulu. Abby was walking along behind her, but started to run towards the opening door when she spied Chekov.

"Pasha! Pasha!" she called, not even hesitating to launch herself into his arms.

"Kotik! Милая моя! How is my kotik today? It has been long time, no?" he asked, bouncing her in his arms.

"No!" Abby giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "I's see you dis mo'nin', silly Pasha," she told him. "You wisited us."

"Of course," he nodded thoughtfully. "That is true. I wisited with you and your mama."

"We's hafin' din'wer," she informed him. "You has wif me?"

"Certainly, kotik," he agreed. "You wait here wif your mama and I will come join you." He placed her in the chair next to Marissa. The little girl grabbed a carrot from her plate and sat happily gnawing on it as she watched her Pasha walk away. Jim had seated himself on Marissa's other side and the conversation turned to their next destination, Starbase 23, also known as Galdonterre, which specialized in a large merchandising area, offering a wide range of items from numerous planets.

When Chekov joined the group of friends at the table he immediately asked what had been discovered about the subspace comm. problem.

"Lietenant Reznick iz most distressed," he told them. "She wishes to contact her fiancé. She asked me if perhaps I could be of azistance in repairing the zystem..."

He blushed while finishing his statement, and while Jim didn't laugh, he couldn't help grinning a little bit. Apparently the young navigator had a lot of 'older sisters' on the ship, not just Marissa. It had to be the curly hair. He felt a little bit guilty lying to the young man, but it was for the greater good.

"Thanks, Chekov. Uhura and Spock have been down there most of the last two shifts," he told everyone at the table; though what exactly those two were doing he didn't know and didn't want to know. "They've both said that the problem seems to lie somewhere outside on the hull."

"Probably a relay unit in the transmitter array," Uhura chimed in. "We will need the more advanced equipment at Galdonterre to repair it."

"Something happened in the system while we were orbiting M'Qtobau," Jim continued. If someone was going to tell falsehoods under his own orders, it would be him. "We're running silent for now. We won't even be able to request docking at 23 until we're out of warp," Jim shrugged. "A few days of silence won't be too bad."

"I can certainly sympathize with Judith," Marissa commented sympathetically. "I hate the idea of not being able to tell my dad and Nana that I'm all right."

There was an awkward silence as everyone seemed to look at their food rather than each other, before Jim reached out and squeezed her hand. "I know Mariss," he said. "And I promise, as soon as we get there I'll make sure you and the others get comm. time."

"Priority one," Marissa tried to tease, but she was confused by the sudden tension at the table.

"Priority one," Jim agreed.

"I've heard good things about the stores on 23," McCoy said rather suddenly, spearing a stick of asparagus and waving it around before taking a bite. "Supposed to be one of the biggest shopping areas outside of Sector One."

"Well, it can't compete with that place on Stratnon," Marissa chuckled. "It was so huge we had to stop for a rest after only a morning of shopping. They had everything you could ever want – and then more."

"And the shoe stores!" Uhura added. "I think I left with three pairs."

"And that was after the six pairs of shoes you bought on 17," Marissa teased.

Uhura shrugged, taking a dainty bite of her salad. "Spock paid for those," she said primly. "Can't blame a girl for going a bit overboard. They're shoes."

"Well, if shoes are all a girl needs, I'm set," Marissa said. "I currently have eight pairs of shoes, including my old ratty slippers, a couple dresses and underwear and socks. If it wasn't for the scrubs you gave me doc, and Janice's magical scrounging abilities I don't know what I'd wear."

Again, there was an awkward pause as everyone focused on their meal and Marissa looked around at them curiously, a frown beginning to develop as no one looked at her.

Jim cleared his throat. "We'll definitely do some shopping, just please tell me we won't have to go to that many stores this time." If his joviality sounded a bit forced, Marissa didn't comment.

"I make no promises," she told him. "Not only do I need things, I'm thinking Abby might have grown a bit since we last bought her anything." She smilingly tugged at the sleeves of Abby's shirt that were too short for her.

"Okay, we'll go to a kids' store, too," Jim agreed. "We should have at least three days maybe more."

"More?" Sulu asked.

"Uh," Jim paused, running a hand through his hair uncomfortably. "You know, depending on repairs and such. Maybe we can manage a couple more days to give everyone a break and all that." He didn't like lying to his crew, but only Spock, Uhura and McCoy knew the reason they were running radio silent. Now that they had the away team safely on board they didn't want anyone to know yet.

While everyone thought that they were heading to Galdonterre to repair the subspace communications array and to maybe have some shore leave for the returned away team, their real presence was for the purpose of admitting evidence in the investigation of Admirals Dekker, Franks and possibly Collins. None of the M'Qtobau away team had been reinstated yet. In fact, beyond the shields of the ship no one but Admiral Pike, Ambassador Sarek, and possibly the Federation President, knew of their return to the Starfleet fold. Jim had managed a short, prerecorded and coded burst of information once he'd returned to the ship with the away team, but that was it.

As had been decided shortly after the rescue attempt, Spock and Uhura had created the malfunction that had 'damaged' the subspace transmitter that prevented any outgoing messages from any comm. device, even those on the bridge. Uhura had placed an automatic response citing a severe malfunction in the system with an unknown repair time. No complaints had been officially reported by the crew, though there had been plenty of grumbling, but the system recorded any and all attempts of subspace contact, and these would be examined later, if necessary. The point of the radio silence was to arrive at Galdonterre, where Franks and Dekker had been summoned under false pretenses, without tipping their hand. After all, the away team was posed to be the final nail in the coffin of evidence against the admirals.

"Three days sounds great to me," Marissa spoke up, once again frowning slightly at Jim and then looked over at McCoy. Something was going on, she just wasn't sure what it was. "Though I'm not sure I'm up for that much shopping. What else is on 23, doc?"

"Well," McCoy replied, "I'm not an expert, but I've heard they have an aquarium with aquatic, marine, ammonia and methane life forms from the whole sector."

"Ohhh, that would be fun," Marissa agreed.

"Da," Chekov spoke up. "I haf heard of dis. Dey haf an interatif pool for de children. It is even possible to swim with some of de Terran fish and Denobian seamules."

"Swim?" Abby perked up from where she was happily eating, ignoring the adult talk as she chattered to Sehlat.

"Da," Chekov nodded to her. "You ken go swimming with de fishes in de aquarium, Kotik. Dat will be fun, da?"

"Da!" Abby announced, already squirming out of her seat. "Pasha go swimin' wif me now!"

"Oh no, you don't," Jim smiled, reaching behind Marissa and grabbing Abby's collar before she could hit the ground. "Not right now, Abby girl. Pasha is eating his dinner, and then he has to go to the bridge. No swimming right now."

Abby began to pout, but Jim ignored her, instead looking at her plate. "You haven't finished your dinner yet, either," he told her. "Am I gonna have to eat it for you?" he teased, taking his fork and hovering it over her plate.

"Dat's my dinwer!" Abby told him, pushing his fork out of the way.

"All right," Jim told her. "It's your dinner. You eat it. Just stop feeding it to Sehlat. He's already stuffed."

"O-tay," Abby nodded seriously.

Everyone smiled as she went about attacking her mac and cheese. Dinner continued amiably with Jim and Chekov discussing an upgrade of the nav system that was planned in a couple months, and if Marissa got a little misty-eyed at how well Jim handled Abby, no one saw but McCoy and he didn't say anything, only gave her a gentle smile before turning to answer a question from Uhura.

_Please Review_


	6. Chapter 6

**Completion**

**Chapter 6**

**Warning #1: Here be the mature stuff. ;-)**

Jim smiled as he finished the last note of his song. Abby was out, but Marissa was still holding her in the rocking chair. Sometimes it was hard to believe that Abby used to easily fit in one of Marissa's arms as she nursed her. Now her legs were hanging off Marissa's lap and she needed two arms to keep the little girl secure.

Marissa looked over at him as the music faded, her eyes misty. "She's so big."

"That's exactly what I was thinking," Jim said, setting the guitar aside and coming to kneel in front of the rocking chair. He reached out and gently cupped Abby's small head. "Remember when we used to walk around with her in that sling? She was barely four kilos. Was she ever that small?"

"I hope so," Marissa grinned. "No way I'm giving birth to a baby this size – or even half this size."

"Good point," Jim agreed. "Shall I take her?" Marissa nodded and he moved his arms under the sleeping toddler, carefully tilting her towards him and then standing. She startled for a moment, her hands flaring like tiny starfish, but then settled against Jim's chest.

"Night baby girl," Marissa whispered, placing a kiss on Abby's forehead.

Jim set her down slowly and carefully, so as not to wake her. Then he pulled up her blanket and tucked Sehlat next to her. "I don't know why I bother," Jim said softly. "She'll have the blanket kicked off in no time – a bit like someone else," he added wryly.

Moving to stand against him, Marissa wiggled under Jim's arm, so that he was holding her, her arms wrapped around his waist. "Not lately. I seem to have developed the habit of sleeping under the covers."

"I have noticed," Jim told her, his voice soft.

"It was just warmer," Marissa told him with a small shrug.

"Well, now you have me," Jim pulled her closer, resting his chin against the top of her head. "I'll keep you warm."

"I was hoping so." They didn't speak for a moment, both enjoying their closeness and the sight of the sleeping child. "I used to dream," Marissa started softly. Jim looked down at her and waited for her to continue. "I'd finally be warm, burrowed as far as I could be under my covers and…I'd dream that it was you holding me. I'd hear your heart beating and…and I felt safe. I never liked waking up after those dreams," she added with a huffing laugh.

"I don't remember many of my dreams," Jim started slowly, not being completely truthful. He had dreamed; he just hadn't liked most of them. "I didn't sleep a whole lot," he admitted. "But occasionally, when it got…hard; I'd have this dream of you. Nothing special, really. You'd just be there in front of me, talking. Sometimes it was a place I recognized – in the library, or here in our quarters, but other times I couldn't tell where you were. You were talking to me, but I could never hear what you were saying." He took a deep breath and held her closer. "Those were good dreams, but…really hard, because everyone was telling me to let you go; to focus on Abby and our future, yet I'd have these dreams and you were _there_, you know?"

"Jim I'm so sorry," Marissa gripped him tightly, her voice hoarse.

"Nothing to be sorry for," Jim squeezed back.

"But, what you went through, what…"

"Shhh, what _you_ went through," Jim pulled back slightly, shaking his head slowly, and placed a finger over her lips. "You're here now, that is all that matters."

"I know, but…"

"No buts," Jim interrupted. "You are here, in my arms and that is all I need."

Marissa looked up into his eyes, looking for something, Jim didn't know what, but eventually she seemed to find it because she smiled softly at him and nodded. He smiled back. "So what do you say we take this to another location?"

"Did you have another location in mind?" Marissa replied impishly.

Leaning down, Jim swooped her in his arms. "Allow me, my lady."

Smothering her giggles, Marissa allowed him to carry her the few feet into their room. Triggering the door to close, Jim held her gaze for a moment, before letting go of her legs and letting her slide down his body.

"God, I missed you," he said, one hand stroking her cheek; tucking some loose hair behind her ear.

"Show me," Marissa whispered, placing her arms around his neck and going up on her tip toes so that her body pressed fully against his.

"As you wish," Jim replied before kissing her deeply.

It wasn't a deep or overly passionate kiss, but it made Marissa heart beat quickly as she tilted her head and opened her mouth to his invasion. It was a kiss of relearning; of re-acquaintance. They'd kissed on M'Qtobau, and on the shuttle, and in Medical; they'd even kissed in this room, but they'd been very much aware that their actions could only go so far and that they had an audience. They hadn't been able to surrender themselves to their feelings and to each other. Now, over twenty-four hours after they had been reunited, they had the chance to – finally – give themselves over. Abby was in bed. The ship was in warp and in the capable hands of Spock. It was just them; just Jim and Marissa and that was all that they needed.

Jim's hands moved restlessly over Marissa's back, shoulders and rear, his mouth now staging a serious assault on her mouth; lips soft and firm, tongue gentle, yet masterful as it swept over her own, then into her mouth, rubbing and tasting. Marissa just clung to his shoulders, her body melting against his, her breasts high and tight, her nipples pointed and oh, so sensitive as he moved against her.

"I think you're wearing too many clothes," Jim whispered, pulling away from her kiss swollen lips with one last nip and switching his concentration to her neck and the pulse point that was beating wildly. He languorously licked from the base of her throat up and towards her ear where he took her earlobe gently between his teeth and nibbled.

Marissa moaned, her body melting just a little bit more. "Back at you captain."

"Not captain," Jim replied, still nipping and laving at her neck as his hands moved down to her waist, grabbing at her shirt. "Not tonight. Just Jim."

"Jim," Marissa tried to nod, her head canted to give him better access to where her neck met her shoulder. "Mine. My Jim."

"Yours," Jim agreed, sweeping her shirt off in one deft movement, before pulling her close again.

"Too many clothes," Marissa complained breathlessly, already reaching for Jim's shirt and rucking it up over his abdomen and rubbing herself against him.

"Jesus, Mariss," Jim laughed, moving to take his shirt off all the way.

"Much better," she purred, running her hands over as much skin as she could reach. "God you are so warm and soft and smooth. It's criminal for a man to have skin like this."

"You're pretty damn soft and smooth yourself," Jim smiled, giving her a nipping kiss as he undid her pants and lowered them over her rear. With a little shimmy from Marissa they easily pooled at her feet and she kicked them off quickly before pressing against Jim once again.

"Your turn," she told him, reaching for his jeans.

His hands stopped her. "Not yet." He continued to kiss her, taking her hands and wrapping them around his waist where she automatically tucked them into the back of his waistband, all the while his hands were making long smooth strokes from her shoulders, down her back, over her ass and then back up her sides, only to start again. His touch was firm enough not to be ticklish, but the warmth and calloused strength of his hands caused her to squirm and shiver against him. She lifted one leg and wrapped her calf around his, tilting her hips and rubbing her belly against his hardness that his jeans did nothing to hide.

"Jim…" she whined against his lips.

Reaching around his back, Jim took both her hands and then with a quick move, turned her around so her back was to his front. Marissa continued to writhe against him, the evidence of his arousal pressing against her lower back. Crossing his hands over her middle, Jim bent down and nipped at her neck for a few moments, causing Marissa to make a soft mewling sound as she shivered and leaned against him.

Slowly, his hands moved up her body, he skimmed over her breasts, only briefly teasing her nipples, before coming over her shoulders and then unhooking her bra.

"Lay down," he told her, his voice deep with arousal. She immediately moved to do as he said. "On your belly," he corrected her when she sat down and began to scoot up the bed.

She looked at him questioningly, but immediately turned onto her belly, resting her head on both her hands, turning it so that she could just see him out of the corner of her eye.

Slowly, Jim eased up onto the bed, straddling her calves. Marissa wiggled her bottom at him and he smiled. "Tease," he told her, running one finger along the waistband of her panties and then along the bottom, where thigh met ass. He shifted up so that he was kneeling over the backs of her thighs, her legs pressed together. "Arms out," he told her. Not waiting for her to comply, he gently took them and extended them out at a slight angle from her body; almost spread eagle. "Don't move them."

"Jim," she began, her voice breathless as she lifted her head to look at him more fully.

"Shhh," he told her, one hand easing her head back down onto the bed as his other hand began to rub along her shoulders. Soon both hands were rubbing and caressing; long sweeping strokes up and down her arms, over her shoulders and neck, down her ribs and then up her spine. She tried to remain still, but after the first minute couldn't help undulating under him, trying to feel more. She tried kicking her feet up, trying to make some kind of contact, but with no luck. She bent her knees as much as she could and thrust her bottom back at him, but he only chuckled and pushed down firmly on her lower back, holding her still as he began to massage her spine with deft fingers.

Marissa gave up and let her body go lax. It seemed to be a sign, because the next thing she felt was the warmth of Jim's skin, just inches from her back as he began to kiss her shoulders and neck, his mouth now following the path of his hands. His mouth and tongue and lips left no centimeter of skin untouched as he took his time. When he reached her lower back she was a mass of moaning, groaning nerves. She hadn't moved her arms, but her body had begun moving again, writhing under his.

He changed tactics again. Instead of hands or lips and tongue he began to rub himself against her. He started with his chest against the curve of her ass and then slowly slithered up her body until he rested fully against her back, his mouth nibbling on her shoulder as his hands reached out and he laced his fingers with hers. And then he repeated it again. And again. And again.

It was a sweet torture, feeling his skin drag against hers; the heat, the softness, the hard muscles, the slight furring of hair across his chest and arrowing down his belly. She arched her lower back and lifted her hips, trying to prolong the contact. At one point she felt like she was about to combust. Her skin so alive and tingling and all she could feel was Jim and his heat, and maybe the sheet under her, but honestly, she could have been on a cloud right then and not even known it. It was when his erection was pressed firmly against her bottom that she tried to move the most; squeezing her cheeks together, shimmying against him, but by then his weight had effectively pinned her and her ability to move was minimal.

With a huffing laugh, Jim gave her a quick kiss on her exposed cheek, just to the side of her mouth, then pulled away and sat on his heels, being careful not to put too much pressure on her legs. Marissa immediately tried to sit back on her knees, but he once again pushed her back down.

"I'm not done yet," he told her matter-of-factly.

"Jesus Jim," Marissa said in a breathless voice. "I don't know how much more I can stand."

"I'm thinking a bit more," Jim replied, the grin on his face, which she couldn't see, obvious in his voice.

"Bastard," Marissa laughed and then moaned as his hands came up and began to massage her ass. He started with her panties still on, his calluses snagging on the cotton, but it didn't matter, it still felt wonderful as he petted and squeezed, his thumbs digging down where her ass meets thigh, so close to where she wanted him, but not nearly enough.

It hadn't long remained a secret that her ass was the most erogenous area of her body. Marissa had always laughed that it was the biggest part of her, so why wouldn't it be the most sensitive? Jim had been fully on board with exploring this area of her body. Hands were nice. Hands were fun; especially when rubbing turning into slight pinching, his thumbs and fingers digging deep into her flesh. Not enough to bruise, but enough to really feel it. But mouths were even better and he hadn't forgotten that at all.

He shifted her panties into an impromptu thong, the fabric pulling tight against her wetness and making her wiggle, her breath hitching slightly. And that was before his mouth came into play again, nipping and biting and laving her over-sensitized skin. He concentrated on the most sensitive area, just at the bottom of her ass and the top of her thighs. Quite by accident they had found out that she really didn't mind it if he played it a little rougher in that area. But that wasn't the plan for tonight; tonight wasn't a night for being rough. Instead he took the delicate flesh between his teeth and began to nibble, then bite, then suck until she was groaning and incoherent. She wasn't even aware of one of his hands moving from where it was holding her in place to between her legs, moving her panties aside and easily penetrating her wetness.

"Jim!" Marissa cried, arching her hips back towards him in an instinctive plea for more.

"What?" he asked, his voice husky and low, his finger barely wiggling inside of her. "What do you want?"

"Oh, god. You. In me," she moaned. "Your tongue…you…stop teasing me!"

Moving quickly, he sat back, withdrawing his finger and grabbing her panties. With some shifting by Marissa, he managed to pull them down and off, his body moving to her right side. "Over," he told her, patting her lightly on the ass.

"'Bout time," she declared, rolling over and sitting up and reaching for him, instantly going for the buttons on his jeans that he had undone earlier and trying to tug them down.

"No, no," Jim smiled, taking her hands off his jeans. "Lay down." He gently pushed her down.

"Jim," Marissa whined, making his name at least four syllables long.

"Trust me," Jim whispered, leaning over her and kissing her deeply. Marissa immediately responded, her legs coming up to wrap around his hips, her arms around his neck.

Pulling back, Jim held up the pillow he had grabbed. "Lift."

Disappointed at the loss of his touch, Marissa nevertheless lifted her hips and let him place the pillow under her, elevating her hips.

Jim sat back, still on his knees between her legs, his hands resting on her thighs. "You're beautiful," he whispered, his eyes taking everything in: her flushed face and chest, her mouth open and panting slightly, the way her hands absently played over her breasts, tweaking her own nipples as she stared at him with lust dilated eyes, the wetness between her legs, slightly swollen and totally aroused.

"Jim please," she moaned, lifting one of her legs to rub against his side. "I can't…"

"As you wish," he growled, as he bent down to kiss her inner thigh before working his way up to where she really wanted him. As tightly as he had already wound her up, Marissa was whimpering before his mouth had even touched her center, and when his tongue reached out and gave her a long lick from bottom to top it was almost over before it really started. But then, Jim had always had a talented tongue – and mouth, and he settled in to slowly take her apart, using his tongue and lips and teeth to lave and nip and tug at her.

He seemed to like the sounds that he was pulling from her, as he set out to see if he could do it again, and again. It was several minutes, not to mention a very tight grip on his hair, when he finally introduced his fingers into the equation while studiously avoiding all but the most fleeting of touches to her clitoris. Gently he introduced one finger, then another, curling them slightly as he pushed them in and out of her body. With a sigh, Marissa's body began to move in tandem, her hips lifting and rolling until Jim didn't have to move his fingers at all, he just let her do all the work.

All the while Marissa was driving herself towards her pleasure, Jim's tongue and lips were busy teasing; licking and sucking until her movements began to become more insistent; up and then back down hard, her hips swiveling slightly at the end before tilting up again. Jim waited until she began to whine deep in her throat before he finally sucked her clitoris into his mouth, using his tongue to stroke it. It didn't take much longer for Marissa's whole body to freeze up and then convulse against him. He rode it out until she began making a hissing noise, her flesh now too sensitive.

Eyes closed and hands stroking up and down her torso, Marissa began to hum, stretching out the leg that Jim wasn't resting his head on while watching her.

"Good?" he asked smugly.

"Hmmmm," Marissa hummed languorously, before opening one eye to glare at him. "You know damn well it was good."

"It's still nice to hear," Jim responded. He moved onto his knees and began kissing his way up her body.

"Come here," Marissa demanded, tugging at his shoulders.

"Just a sec," Jim chuckled against her breasts. "Gotta pay my respects," he added as he took one of her nipples into his mouth and laved it with his tongue, while his hand was busy cupping her other breast.

"Ahhh," Marissa breathed out. "Yes…"

Jim took his time with each breast, making sure he didn't miss any skin. "Don't want them to feel left out," he told Marissa as he gently kissed one nipple, while running his thumb over the other.

"Heaven forbid," Marissa chuckled deeply. "Now come here." She tugged at his shoulders again.

"Yes ma'am," Jim replied. Settling between her thighs, they began kissing. Marissa wrapped her legs around his waist and ran her feet over the back of his legs.

"You are still wearing too many clothes," she told him. "Take 'em off."

With her help, Jim shoved his jeans down his hips and past his knees, before he had to shift away from her to kick them the rest of the way off.

"Now that is more like it," Marissa purred, his cock already in her hand. Jim hissed and his hips stuttered at the feel of her hand around him once again.

"Careful," he warned, reaching for her wrist. "It's been a while."

She pouted playfully. "Don't tell me you forgot how…"

Jim cut her off with a deep kiss, his tongue sweeping through her mouth. "I didn't forget a damn thing, I just don't know how long…"

"Less talk, more action," Marissa told him, tilting her hips and rubbing herself against his erection.

Jim groaned, shifted his hips and without any hesitation slid slowly into her warmth. "Damn, Mariss, you feel good," he groaned into her shoulder. "This isn't going to last long at all."

Marissa didn't say anything, only ran her hands down his back to rest just above his ass, her legs already hitched high on his sides.

Jim managed one, two, three thrusts and then he was coming, his body pulsing into hers, his back arching to an almost impossible angle until he collapsed heavily on top of her, only just managing to tuck his elbows in to support his weight.

"Gah…" was the only sound he made, and if he wasn't feeling so amazingly sated, he might have been embarrassed at how quickly that had ended. Instead he enjoyed the feeling of Marissa's hands running over his back and teasing the tiny hairs his neck.

"Been a while, huh?" she finally asked after few minutes, the smile in her voice obvious though he couldn't see it.

"Told you," he said. "And as soon as I get my higher brain function back, I will try to defend myself."

"Higher brain function?" Marissa questioned with a small laugh.

"Not funny," Jim replied, his face still pressed into her neck. "I think I snapped my spine."

"Oh, poor baby," Marissa cooed, ruffling his hair. "Can't have that."

"I might have sprained my tongue, too," Jim warned her.

"Now that would be a tragedy," Marissa said seriously.

"Minx," Jim laughed, lifting his head and kissing her.

Marissa hummed and smiled against his lips. "I missed this."

"What?" Jim laughed. "Me reverting back to being sixteen years old?"

"Jim, if you were this good at sixteen, then you were a child savant," she told him with a chortle. "No sixteen year old is that good."

"That wasn't what I meant…"

"I know what you meant," Marissa interrupted him. She smiled at him fondly and cupped his cheek. "And I certainly enjoyed myself. What I missed, though was having you this close. Having you inside me," she tightened her muscles, squeezing his cock internally and Jim's eyes widened.

"You better be careful," he warned. "I grabbed your pillow. You'll have to deal with the mess."

"Tissue?" Marissa asked. "Because as much as I enjoyed this, my thighs aren't used to the work out."

Jim chuckled and then yawned widely. "My nightstand."

With some maneuvering, Jim managed to reach the tissues and handed some to Marissa in order to clean up. He grabbed his underwear while Marissa was in the bathroom and then settled into bed, feeling absolutely content with his life at the moment.

When the bathroom light shut off, Jim held the blankets up in invitation. Marissa quickly slid into bed next to him and then presented her back. Jim obediently spooned himself against her, one hand coming over to cup one of her breasts, while his other slid under her pillow.

Marissa sighed happily and relaxed into him. "Now this I really missed."

"More than the sex?" Jim asked with a grin.

"Apples and oranges," Marissa told him with a yawn. "As long as it's with you, I don't care."

Jim kissed her shoulder. "I'll remember that."

Marissa slept heavily after their exertions. There was something about a good orgasm and Jim's arms wrapped around her that just totally relaxed her. It wasn't just the satiation that did it either, it was the fact that she was back in Jim's arms. But as contented as she was when she fell asleep, something woke her up in the middle of ship's night.

The first thing she noticed as she rose to consciousness was the fact that Jim was no longer holding her and she was exposed, no longer warm under the blankets or in his arms. After four months of burrowing, she automatically woke up when her cozy hidey-hole was disturbed. The next thing she noticed as she warily opened one eye was that the lights were higher than when they had gone to sleep. Since Abby was born she and Jim had gotten used to sleeping with the lights at five percent, so that they didn't stumble over anything as they went to and from Abby's room. If she had to guess by the pain behind her eyes from her brief glance, she'd have to say they were at twenty or thirty percent.

"Lights, sleep," Jim's hoarse voice spoke quietly. The computer automatically reset, plunging the room into comparative darkness. "Sorry, go back to sleep," he told her, bringing the blankets back over her shoulder.

"Jim?" Marissa reached out towards him. She could feel his weight on the bed, but not next to her.

"Shush." He intercepted her hand and pressed a kiss to her knuckles. "Sleep."

Nodding tiredly, Marissa relaxed back into her pillow, but something was tugging at her mind, something in Jim's voice or the tension that seemed to be radiating from where he held her wrist. Blinking heavily, she tried to focus her tired eyes on Jim's face, what she saw caused her heart to stutter in her chest. He looked…shattered.

"Jim," she said softly, sitting up onto her elbow and reaching for him again. Even in the dim light she could see the pain and the anguish in his eyes and it made her own eyes began to tear up.

He shook his head, no words able to come out of his open mouth as she finally stroked his cheek, shocked to feel the wetness against her palm.

She continued to look at him, his image wavering as her eyes filled, but she didn't look away, she didn't flinch from his obvious pain. He closed his eyes, unable to meet her gaze. She could see the tension in his neck and shoulders as he fought the instinct to turn into her touch and respond to her silent query.

"Jim," she whispered again, her voice now hoarse as she tried to hold back her own emotions.

He shook his head again and kept his eyes closed, his face pinched as if in pain.

"Jim, look at me," Marissa asked softly, her hand still cupping his wet cheek. "Please?"

He took a shuddering breath, his shoulders hitching, and when he opened his eyes and finally met hers, Marissa gasped at the raw emotion present, but she didn't have time to react before he crumpled against her, his face coming to rest against her chest, his cheek over her heart. She could feel his tears against her skin, but he remained stubbornly silent.

"Oh, Jim," she whispered brokenly as she folded her body around his, one of her hands combing through his hair, as the other rubbed circles on his back. He didn't say anything, but she could feel him trembling against her, his breath hitching as he fought against the tears. "It's okay. It's okay," she murmured into his hair. "I'm here. I'm here."

He didn't respond, but continued to hold her, one arm wrapped tightly around her waist, the other trapped between their bodies, but gripping her thigh spasmodically. His legs tangled around hers, entwining them like a knot that could never be undone. His breathing was harsh and ragged as he clung to her with everything he had; as if he believed if he let go of her even a little bit she might disappear.

Marissa held him and stroked him, making the soothing sounds that seemed to calm Abby. The similarity between this situation and the one with Abby the other night was not lost on her.

Jim had hovered and smiled and kissed her when she returned. He'd been the perfect father and captain while she was gone. Everyone praised how well he took care of Abby and the ship. But who took care of Jim, she wondered. He wasn't known for showing weakness. She knew he felt it sometimes, he'd even sheepishly admitted it once or twice, but only after the fact and always with a self-depreciatory shrug and cocky grin.

Four months on his own, with Abby and the crew of the _Enterprise_ depending on him – it couldn't have been easy on him, especially when the situation eerily echoed his own childhood. Had no one seen his pain? Or more likely he hadn't let anyone see his pain. She knew Leonard would have tried. He, after all, had the best chance of getting through, but even if Jim let him in even partway, there was no way he would have let him all the way in, not if the way he was crying and trembling against her now was any indication.

"Oh, Jim," she whispered again, her own tears wetting his hair. "I'm here. I'm here. I won't let go."

Jim drew in a shuddering breath and then made an effort to relax against her. "I know," he whispered, his words more felt than heard. "But you weren't," he continued after a few more breaths. "And I…" he swallowed convulsively. "I…can't…Never again. I can't lose you. I can't live like that, only half alive. Please…Please."

"I'm here," she whispered to him, her hands roving over his shoulders and through his hair, trying with only touch to reassure him. "I'm not going to leave you. I won't."

He shook his head briefly. "I don't think I can do that again. I _know_ I can't," he mumbled against her chest. "It…it killed me, Mariss," he whispered. "Abby needed me. And the crew. And the ship. Everyone was looking to me and I…" he shuddered. "I felt dead. And then…" he broke off with a hiccoughing sob. "I'm sorry," he eventually whispered.

"Jim, you have nothing to be sorry for," Marissa told him, vehemently, squeezing him tightly. "I'm sorry. I never should have gone. I never should have…"

"No," Jim declared, leaning up and looking at her for the first time since this storm had started. His eyes were bloodshot and watery, his face damp. "_You_ have nothing to be sorry for, Marissa. You were doing your job. I can't expect anything less of you," he told her fiercely.

"But I…" she tried, but he shook his head at her, stopping her words.

"No," he told her again. "I'm sorry because…because I gave up," he finally whispered, his eyes shifting away from hers guiltily.

Marissa felt her stomach drop at his broken admission, but she forced the feeling of dread away. This wasn't about her, this was about Jim and his feelings and his needs. "Jim," she said softly, reaching to turn his face back towards hers, and though his head turned easily, he still wouldn't meet her eyes. "You thought I was dead. You didn't…you didn't give up," she told him thickly, "you moved on. You had to accept the evidence in front of you. You had to."

It was a fact that Marissa had resigned herself to during the dark nights in the cave. In Jim's life she was dead and the longer they were apart the more likely he would move on. He would have to move on. She, in her heart of hearts, wanted him to move on, though it hurt to think about. She wasn't being self-less, she was being practical. She wanted nothing more than Jim's happiness. She knew her death would be a blow; literally an emotional minefield, but she wanted him to make it through; to find a way to move on. But to be faced with the reality…

"You were alive," he said thickly, his eyes now blazing into hers with self-recriminations. "You were waiting for me and…"

"Oh no you don't," Marissa stopped him, just as fiercely. Gripping his shoulder hard enough to bruise. "You didn't know that. You couldn't have known. You can't blame yourself for that, Jim. You can't. You had to look after Abby and the ship and…and everyone."

"But I knew. I knew here," he told her, thumping a fist against his chest. "And I…" His breath caught in his chest as he held back another shuddering sob.

Covering his fist with her hand and unclenching it so she could interlace their fingers, Marissa gave him a wobbly smile. "You couldn't have known. And I know if you had had any inkling that we were still alive on that planet you would have torn it apart looking for us."

Jim shook his head. "For you," he corrected her, leaning forward to press his lips against her mouth. "I'd tear the damn universe apart to find you," he told her, his body shifting and lengthening against hers. And just like that, the energy in the room changed as Marissa felt his erection pressing against her hip. Without a thought, she rolled onto her back and spread her legs, welcoming his weight between her thighs.

"Never again," he said against her lips.

"Never," Marissa agreed with a sigh as he slid easily into her body.

They made love slowly and fiercely, Jim leaning up on his elbows as his hands cradled her head. They'd kiss and sigh against each other, then pull away to look into each other's eyes. Neither said a word beyond, "mine" and "yours" and "always," but they both felt the connection, the love that was between them. The holes in their hearts that had been left weeping by their separation began to fill.

They had made love earlier, of course, but that had been an awakening of the body, a reacquainting of their corporeal selves; of pleasure given and received. This time, when Jim entered Marissa; when Marissa sheltered Jim in her body, they were reaffirming the connection they had built over the months and years of their relationship. They were acknowledging all that they had become to each other and how neither wanted to be without the other ever again.

The feelings that were evoked were so powerful that Marissa found that her orgasm, the evidence of her arousal and Jim's lovemaking, actually snuck up on her. It wasn't the goal of this encounter, though it was definitely a by product. And when Marissa gasped and arched against Jim, her inner muscles clenching in waves, her hands grasping his biceps as she tried to pull him closer, he gave in to his own pleasure and released into her, his climax just as surprising, but only a gasping sigh escaped his lips before he sank down to his side, pulling Marissa into his arms and holding her as close as possible, their bodies barely joined, but totally connected physically and emotionally.

They didn't speak again, both drifting on the endorphins that were ebbing through their bodies. Eventually, Marissa yawned against Jim's chest.

Jim smiled and pressed a kiss to her mussed up hair. "Sleep," he told her.

"Okay," she agreed tiredly. And she did, almost instantly.

_Please review_


	7. Chapter 7

**Completion**

**Chapter 7**

Marissa woke up to Abby's smiling face peaking into her cocoon of blankets again.

"Mo'nin' mama," she said cheerily. "Sweep good?"

"Why yes I did," Marissa smiled, levering herself out of the blankets and rearranging her pillow so she could sit up.

"You no wears jammies," Abby giggled, as Marissa tucked the blankets under her arms. "I no likes jammies."

"Oh really?"

Abby nodded. "Bu' dada says I's hafta wear 'em to stays warm."

"Your dada's right," Marissa told the earnest toddler with a grin. "You need to stay warm."

"How's come you no wears jammies den?" Abby questioned.

"Uh," Marissa floundered for a moment. "Because your dada keeps me warm," she finally answered honestly enough. She stuck her tongue out at Jim when she saw him standing in the doorway, arms crossed and a smile on his face.

"Swehat kweeps me warm," Abby declared.

"But you still have to wear jammies," Jim interjected. "Or at least a diaper," he compromised, when she began to frown. "You're being a very big girl during the day and using the potty, but we don't want any accidents at night, now do we?"

Abby made a scrunched up face. "No. Yucky mess."

"Yes, it was a mess," Jim agreed with a fond smile. "Now that mama's awake, why don't you go get Sehlat. You can play with your guys while mama gets dressed."

"O-tay," Abby agreed. "Kiss bye," she told Marissa before she gave her mother an enthusiastic kiss on the cheek.

"Have fun, baby girl," Marissa told her. "I'll be out soon and then maybe we can plan something fun."

Abby nodded, her only concession to actually hearing Marissa, as she raced to gather her guys and start playing.

"So, I, uh…I have to go to the bridge for a little while," Jim told her from the doorway, his face slightly flushed.

"Oh, okay," Marissa answered slowly, taking in his tense posture, even as he tried to lean casually.

"It won't be long," he quickly reassured her. "Maybe a couple hours."

"I thought we were in transit." She had her suspicions about their supposed shore leave, but she wasn't quite ready to bring them up – yet.

"We are," Jim agreed, his eyes shifting away from her. "But there are some…things…I need to see about and…"

"Jim, if this is about last night," Marissa cut him off hesitantly. Last night had been the most emotional she had ever seen Jim. He had really let his guard down and she was sure that she wasn't supposed to wake up to witness it.

He'd been upset and angered by the biography published about him a couple years ago, but it hadn't torn him apart as her absence seemed to have. All the things about his past that had been revealed by the biography had only pissed him off because he didn't like showing weakness – any weakness; to anyone. Last night he'd opened himself to her and truly admitted how much he needed her; how important she was to him. Now in the light of day Marissa was sure he was feeling vulnerable.

"It's not," he replied quickly.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes, noticing the hitched shoulders and his flushed cheeks.

"Not totally," he finally relented. "I do have some things to go over with Spock about our stop at Galdonterre, though."

"Okay," Marissa agreed, not surprised to see the tension leave Jim's shoulders when she didn't push. "I'm sure Abby and I will be just fine for a couple hours. It will be girl time."

Jim grinned, finally relaxing totally. Part of Marissa thought she should be hurt by his avoidance, but he really didn't like talking about his emotions, and she didn't want him to be uncomfortable. She wanted him to be able to come to her and if that meant letting him leave and get some space, that's what she'd do. Besides, she looked forward to spending more time with Abby. Even if she just sat and watched, the little girl was the most fascinating thing Marissa had seen. The changes in four months time were amazing.

"I wouldn't tell that to Abby unless you want to have your hair brushed and then tied into knots and your nails colored – badly."

She cocked her head curiously, waiting for him to explain.

"It's what she and Uhura do when Spock and I play chess," he explained.

"Oh," Marissa replied, a sudden feeling of sadness overwhelmed her.

"Hey, what's that look for?" Jim left the doorway and was immediately sitting at her side, a hand resting on her leg comfortingly.

"It's nothing, really," Marissa sniffed and then shrugged. "It just kind of hit me, when you said that, you know? All the things I missed. I mean potty training and this new naked thing and…and girl time," she finished thickly.

Jim pulled her into his arms and held her close. "Ah, Mariss, it's okay," he spoke softly into her hair.

"How is it okay, Jim?" Marissa asked. "I've missed four months of my baby girl's life."

"Yeah, but over all it's not that much."

"Not that much?" Marissa sat back and looked at him incredulously. "She's not even two yet and she talks so much – in full sentences! And she understands so much and she's potty trained already and I missed all that. I missed it and I can never get it back."

Rubbing his hands up and down her back, Jim sighed. "Yeah, you missed some things, but her whole life is ahead of her. You'll be there for that. In the long run she won't even remember that you were ever gone."

"But I will, Jim. I will," Marissa told him sadly, laying her head against his chest with a forlorn sigh.

They sat there for awhile, both lost in their thoughts on what they'd missed and how they were going to continue.

"We can't get those memories back," Jim finally said. "But we can make new ones; with Abby and with Ty here," he ran a hand over her belly. "And Abby won't remember those four months and we'll…we'll learn to put it behind us too."

"You're right," Marissa eventually agreed, her hand absently petting his hand where it rested on her belly.

"Of course I'm right," Jim said with somewhat forced levity. "I'm the captain!"

Marissa gave a huffing laugh and playfully slapped his hand, but made no effort to move away.

"Jim, I need to tell you something," she spoke up, suddenly sounding very serious.

"Yeah?" he looked down at her with a worried frown.

"Well, it's just…" she paused looking up at him, her eyes wide, a slight frown on her face.

"What is it, Mariss?" Jim prodded, trying to keep the worry out of his voice but not really succeeding.

She sighed dramatically and Jim stiffened. "It's just that I'm not really planning to name our son Tiberius Leonard," she finally told him, with a slight upturn of her lips.

"What?" he looked at her in confusion, not expecting that particular change of topic at all. "Then what? But you said… do you mean… So James?" he fumbled, remembering what she had said in the exam room. It hadn't been his first choice of name, or even his twentieth, but it was way better than Tiberius.

"No," she shook her head, still looking at him, but now he could see the little glint of mischief in her eye as she fought to hold back a grin.

"He got another daddy I don't know about?" Jim asked with an incredulously raised eyebrow and a quirky grin. She was up to something.

"No," she said, now grinning fully at him.

"But you said…"

"I want to name him Seamus," she interrupted him. Looking down at her belly and rubbing it gently. "Seamus Leonard."

"Seamus?" Jim asked curiously. He didn't not like it; he just couldn't ever remember hearing that name before.

"It's Celtic for James," Marissa told him. "We can call him Shea for short."

"Seamus Leonard Kirk," Jim said slowly, trying it out. "Shea. I like it," he announced, placing his hand over Marissa's. They smiled as they felt Shea give a nudge.

"Good," Marissa said, leaning over for a quick kiss. "Because that's his name, though I really kind of like Tiberius."

"Marissa," Jim growled low in his throat, before pulling her close and kissing her soundly.

The door chimed, interrupting their quiet moment.

"Do'r!" Abby called out, the sound of her feet running into their room was almost instantaneous. "Dada, mama, do'r!"

"Yes, Abby I heard it," Jim chuckled, giving Marissa a quick kiss before standing up and sweeping Abby into his arms. "You better shower mama," he told her.

"Yes," Marissa agreed with a wry grin. "I'm feeling decidedly sticky in places," she laughed. "Should probably change the sheets too."

"Probably," Jim agreed with a wink, before leaving with Abby. "Shall we see who's at the door, munchkin?" His voice carried back into the room.

"Yeah!" Abby answered enthusiastically.

Marissa shook her head and got out of the bed finally. She hadn't been lying; she was feeling sticky, and a bit sore, in certain places. She debated taking a sonic shower, but eventually gave in to the luxury of hot water and a steamy room.

Half way through her shower, Jim popped his head into the bathroom. "Veronique is here," he told her. "If you don't mind, she'll watch Abby while you finish up and I'll head to the bridge."

"The sooner you leave, the sooner you can come back," Marissa said as she rinsed her hair. "We can have lunch and then maybe go swimming after Abby's nap."

"Sounds like a plan," Jim replied, but his voice was closer. "Kiss bye?" he asked, as he opened the shower door.

"Jim!" Marissa laughed, before leaning to kiss him. "You're incorrigible."

"I know," he smiled winningly. "Bones tells me all the time. See you soon. Have fun with Veronique."

"We will," she replied, but he had already left the bathroom. There was nothing to do but finish quickly and get dressed. She knew Ronnie wouldn't mind watching Abby, but she didn't like to keep her friend waiting. Besides, Marissa hadn't seen her in years.

Pulling her damp hair into a pony tail, Marissa exited their bedroom, her eyes immediately narrowing in on her old friend. "Ronnie!" she called happily.

"Marissa!" Veronique smiled, standing up from where she was crouching next to Abby on the floor, and sweeping the smaller woman into a hug. "Look at you," she said, pulling back slightly and holding Marissa's arms out wide.

"Please don't," Marissa replied blushingly. "I know I look like a scarecrow, even though no one will say it directly."

"A little bit," Veronique agreed with a hint of a smirk.

Marissa huffed in humor. "I could always count on you not to bullshit me."

"That's true," Veronique nodded. "And I'm always right. I told you Gary was not the man for you."

Marissa laughed as she led her friend over to the couch and sat down, Abby happily playing at her feet and ignoring the grown ups. "Yes, you were right, as was Janine - and Mae and Brian and Craig. But I don't think any of you would have predicted Jim."

Looking her over, Veronique shook her head slowly. "No, I don't think so. I don't think any of us would have thought you had the balls to go after someone like him."

Blushing, Marissa looked down at her hands where she was fiddling with the hem of her shirt. "How much do you know? About us?"

"From gossip around the ship? Bits and pieces. From the captain?" Veronique queried with a raised brow. "Nothing. He and I are on good terms now, but as no more than Captain and Ensign."

"Now?" Marissa questioned. "Meaning you weren't on good terms before?"

Veronique shrugged. "I've only been on the ship for a little more than a month," she told Marissa. "Let's just say he didn't make any secret of the fact that he didn't want someone to replace you. Aside from that I don't really have much to do with him on a daily basis. He knew we were friends and that I was capable of doing your job and that was enough. We haven't had any contact missions since I've been on board, so most of my time is spent in Roose's domain – who I love, by the way – or dealing with Spock. Though meeting the Queen of Cloral was quite the experience, I must say."

"She is special," Marissa agreed with a grin. "Jim had mentioned something about her being involved with finding us. He hasn't told me much, though." She looked at her friend hopefully.

"Don't look at me," Veronique held up her hands in defense. "I'm not up on the whole story. I was just a pawn in this whole thing."

"A pawn?" Marissa laughed. "You make it sound like there's some big conspiracy going on instead of just an away mission gone bad."

Veronique looked at Marissa oddly for a moment, before she seemed to come to some conclusion. "So, you and Jim?" she said brightly. "How did that come about? I've heard the scuttlebutt around the ship, but…"

"Oh, you know the usual," Marissa waved her hand dismissively, though she was blushing. "Girl goes to ex-boyfriend's cabin, hot boy captain walks in, girl propositions hot boy captain, girl gets pregnant, girl eventually tells hot boy captain, hot boy captain panics and girl gets mad, and eventually hot boy captain and girl become friends and partners and have an adorable baby girl."

"I see, the path to true love and all that," Veronique nodded sagely and then laughed. "He panicked?"

"Just when I told him," Marissa automatically defended Jim. "By the next day he was at my prenatal exam and totally supportive."

"I'm not surprised," Veronique agreed. "I've only seen him as a father and he's…he's good. Very devoted and patient. Doesn't go with his reputation at all, but now that I've gotten to know him a bit better, it's not surprising."

"He's a natural," Marissa said, stroking Abby's head and grinning when Abby handed her a guy to hug. "He's got issues. The whole universe knows that," she added bitterly, "but he was born to be a father." Absently she brought a hand to her belly and began to rub.

"So the rumors are true," Veronique nodded towards her hand. "You are pregnant."

She nodded. "I didn't know I was when I left," Marissa told her with a small frown. "We'd been trying for months and…well, the timing didn't seem right, if you know what I mean. Jim had been working a lot of hours and we'd barely had anytime to…" she trailed off, shrugging.

"Have wild monkey sex?" Veronique answered slyly.

"Wild monkey sex?" Marissa burst out laughing. Her amusement caught Abby's attention and she climbed into her mother's lap, ready to laugh too.

"Wha's fu'ny?" she asked innocently, her head cocked and a grin on her little face.

"Veronique is funny," her mother replied, still giggling.

"'Nique fu'ny," Abby agreed, adding her own chortling. "Mu'keys fu'ny too. 'Nique wike mu'keys?"

"Why yes I do," Veronique managed to agree, her lips pursed tightly as she tried not to laugh at Abby's innocent question.

"Mu'keys are from Earf," Abby told them matter-of-factly, "an' dey live in twees and eat nanners an' go eee-eee-eee an' swin' fwom de twees."

"Yes they do," Marissa said. Her face was still full of humor, but she looked down at Abby proudly. "You are so smart baby girl. Where did you learn about monkeys?"

"Spa'k gives me bo'k," she told her mother. "I' has pi'tures an' he weeds i' to me."

"Well that is very nice of Mr. Spock. Does he make the animal noises too?" Marissa asked with a straight face. Veronique managed to cover her snort of amusement with a cough.

Abby scrunched up her nose and shook her head. "He no good. Dada iz good. He dos all de no'ses."

"I'm sure he does," Marissa smiled widely.

"A natural," Veronique agreed with Marissa's earlier statement. "I bet there are people that would pay a lot to see Captain James T. Kirk make animal noises."

"I'm sure there are," Marissa replied dryly. "Abby are you thirsty?"

"Jus' pweese," she said immediately.

"All right." She put Abby back on the floor and stood up. "Ronnie? I was going to have some tea and some toast. I haven't had breakfast yet."

"I'm sorry," Veronique frowned instantly. "I didn't mean to disrupt your morning. You need all the food you can get."

"Ha, ha," Marissa rolled her eyes. "You're as bad as Jim. When I'm hungry I eat, I promise. I was just excited to see you. Now, I'm eating. The excitement has gone."

Veronique chuckled. "Tea would be lovely."

"Two sugars?"

"Yes, please."

Once the tea was made and Marissa had consumed two pieces of toast slathered in peanut butter while standing in the kitchen, they settled back on the couch, each sipping at their hot beverages, Veronique looked over the top of mug and raised an eyebrow. "So, number two was planned?"

"Yeah," Marissa nodded, carefully lowering her drink to her lap. "We thought it would be good for Abby – to have a sibling; someone to play with. There still aren't a lot of families on ships."

"Just for Abby?" Veronique asked with a knowing grin.

Marissa looked at her sheepishly. "Not just for Abby. I wanted another and so did Jim. He actually brought it up first – in the most awkward, but endearing way."

"Jim Kirk awkward? Now that I would pay to see."

Marissa smiled fondly. "He has his moments. A reputation is one thing, but I learned early on in our friendship that not everything is as it seems. Jim's a man just like anyone else. Just some things about him have been blown way out of proportion."

"Really?" Veronique asked skeptically. "Because as far as I can tell the crew thinks he can walk on water and are extremely protective of him and by extension, Abby and you."

"Really," Marissa countered. "He's just a man; just an extraordinarily good looking, intelligent and confident man."

"Like that's normal," Veronique snorted under her breath.

"He's got his insecurities like anyone, he just hides them better."

"Well, I think by the time I came on board he was beginning to crack," Veronique said, a suddenly serious tone in her voice. "I'd heard from your step mom that you two were together and had a daughter. I admit I had trouble wrapping my mind around that piece of information. But once I met him, saw his reaction to me and everything," she waved her hand, "I began to understand. He was nothing like I would have thought. And I could see how much he cared for you."

"How so?" Marissa couldn't help asking, ignoring for a moment the fact that Ronnie had talked with Nancy. She wanted to know about Jim and how he was. Not in a 'oh look how much Jim missed me' way, but just to know how he was. It wasn't like he was being very forthcoming about it.

"He was so…sad," Veronique continued, struggling for words. "I mean, I've seen grief before. My grandfather died when I was a teenager and my mom was really worried for my grandmother. They'd been married for sixty-two years and then she was alone. Jim looked just as lost; just as alone. He'd spark when Abby was near, but he wasn't the Jim Kirk that I expected – the one who could face down Romulans and Admirals with a smile and turn around and save the world on a whim. The cocky, over-confident, ne'r-do-well that his reputation painted him wasn't there. And I could tell that the people around him: Doctor McCoy, Mr. Spock, Janice Rand, even Maria Roose, were obviously worried about him."

Marissa sniffed and reached for the box of tissues.

Veronique leaned forward and clasped Marissa knee. "I didn't come here to upset you 'Rissa."

"I know," Marissa said as she dabbed her eyes. "I know. It's just that Jim has been…Jim is…He's Jim." She shrugged helplessly. "He hasn't said much of anything about how he is, how he was. I know my being gone wasn't easy for him, how could it be? But now he's been so focused on me and Abby… and I know there's something going on on Galdonterre, but he won't say anything and I haven't wanted to push."

"Well, that I don't know about," Veronique told her. "Like I said, I was late to this party, so I only have bits and pieces. I can tell you that he wouldn't let Janice hold your memorial until over a month after you were gone. And after the whole fiasco with Tenial it was like he just closed up, I guess. He definitely had a shell around him when I met him. He did make attempts to get out, though, like with the scientists we just transported. He came to their going away bash on Ten Forward, though I guess that didn't end too well."

"Wait," Marissa held up a hand. "Tenial fiasco? What…? And what happened with the scientists?"

"Well, maybe I should let Jim…" Veronique tried to back pedal.

"Oh no you don't," Marissa countered immediately. "Jim hasn't told me anything and now that you've said something you have to tell me."

"I don't know much," she hedged. "Just that after your memorial Tenial approached Jim and he kicked her out of his quarters and she got mad and started spreading rumors that he had propositioned her and…other stuff," she ended uncomfortably.

"Oh, I can just imagine the other stuff," Marissa said wryly. "Tenial has always had a thing for Jim and she hates me. Poor Jim. What about the scientists?"

"Oh, that was mainly Abby, I guess," Veronique explained. "One of the scientists – Carol someone – was trying to get Abby to like her or something like that and Abby ended up getting hit on the head."

"She hit Abby?" Marissa asked incredulously, her face suddenly alert, her stomach sinking. When someone tells you that your partner – in an alternate universe – fathered a child with another woman, you tend to remember the name. Marissa really hadn't thought about Carol Marcus since Selek had first told her about the woman and her relationship with Selek's Jim Kirk, but to hear it now, even if it was only her first name, sent alarm bells ringing in Marissa's head. Veronique might not have been referring to Carol Marcus, but Marissa couldn't help the worry that suddenly overcame her. It seemed like too much of a coincidence.

"No, no, no, no," Veronique protested. "That came out totally wrong. There was a scarf involved and somehow they were tugging at it – the scientist and Abby – and Abby fell backwards and knocked into a table and something fell and gave her a bump on the head. She was fine. No damage, but Chekov was squirming with guilt for days. He was the one watching her at the time."

"Well, things happen quickly with toddlers," Marissa said stiffly, her eyes no longer on Veronique. Her face was rather pale and she had a white knuckle grip on her coffee mug. "Why was this…Carol? Do you know her full name? Why was she trying to get Abby to like her?"

"I'm not really sure," Veronique hedged, but then caught the piercing look from Marissa. "Rand seemed to think she was interested in the captain and she was…you know, just trying to ingratiate herself," she admitted. "Of course this all happened the night before they left, so nothing really happened. I'm sure Jim wasn't interested anyway. He was still so…"

"Ronnie, it's okay," Marissa forced a smile. "Jim thought I was dead. If something happened between Jim and this…Carol…" she shrugged, and then swallowed heavily. "Jim's a man, after all," she finished with a tight smile.

"Yeah, sure he is, but he was also missing you horribly," Veronique argued. "I honestly don't think anything happened. Just Abby getting a bump on her head."

Things were quiet for a moment as Marissa sipped her tea and Veronique struggled to figure out how to take back some of the things she had said. She obviously didn't want to give Marissa the wrong impression.

"So, you said earlier that you saw Nancy, my step mother?" Marissa finally broke the silence with a new topic. "How'd that come about? I can't imagine you trudging to the wilds of Colorado."

Veronique cleared her throat uncomfortably. "Well, I, uh, happened to be on Earth at the time. For your…your funeral," she finished awkwardly.

"My…wow, that is so weird," Marissa finally finished, her eyes wide. "I guess I tried not to think about it. I assumed…here on the ship…for Jim, I guess. But my dad…and Nana Rose. How were they? How did they take it?"

Veronique gave Marissa an exasperated look. "How do you think they took it? They were devastated. Your dad was…he was a wreck. It was a nice service, though. Nancy seemed to be holding it together. I didn't speak with your grandmother, but she was there."

Marissa shook her head slowly. "You were at my funeral," she said bemusedly. "I mean, I know it's not funny at all, but it's so… weird. And they held a service here on the ship too. Wow."

"What did you expect?" Veronique finally asked. "You were dead; at least as far as everyone was concerned."

"I know," Marissa said softly, "but I never thought about funerals. He waited a month?" she looked up at her friend, her eyes sad and concerned.

"So I've heard," Veronique answered. "Afterward is when Tenial went after him. You'll have to ask Rand for the details. I wasn't here for that one."

"It just seems like a long time," Marissa shook her head. "I mean, a month? They couldn't have thought we were still alive, not after the explosion in Malloribia. Why…?"

"Not 'we' Marissa," Veronique corrected her friend. "Services for everyone else were held within a week or so of the bombing, once Starfleet had officially declared the away team killed in action. Your service was held a month after. From what I hear, Rand kept trying to schedule something – to give Jim closure – but he wouldn't let her."

"He wouldn't let go," Marissa said softly, her lips pursed as she tried to hold back the tears that were clogging her throat at this piece of evidence of Jim's distress.

"No, he wouldn't," Veronique agreed.

Marissa breathed deeply for a few minutes, her eyes closed as she tried to reign in her emotions. "I can't imagine…living without Jim," she finally spoke. "Even on M'Qtobau I knew he was alive; out there, somewhere. But to think…to believe that he was gone…dead… It hurts," she admitted in a hoarse voice. "It hurts right here," she placed her hand over her heart. "I just had to survive. I believed that somehow we'd get word out and Jim and the _Enterprise_ would come to the rescue; or at least some other ship from Starfleet. And then we'd be reunited. But Jim…" she trailed off, unable to find words.

"Yeah." Veronique scooted forward and pulled Marissa into her arms, letting the smaller woman rest her head on her shoulder. Slowly, she rubbed circles over Marissa's back, trying to ease the tension as the other woman breathed heavily, trying not to cry. "But he's tough. He managed. And now you're here," she tried to console her friend.

"Tough," Marissa repeated on a huff of air, thinking of Jim last night as he cried, falling apart in her arms. He'd held it together, for Abby and the crew, but it had obviously cost him a lot. And only Marissa knew how deeply it had affected him. If hovering and making her eat helped him, then she would let him. He needed to know that she was all right; and he needed to know that she wouldn't leave him. Both things would come with time, but she'd let him hover for now and she'd eat if he offered her something. If it helped to ease his worry, then she would do anything.

After a few moments of silent comfort, Marissa pulled away and smiled wetly, as she reached for a tissue to wipe off her face. "So, Jim mentioned something about getting your girlfriend on board. Is it the same person you were seeing last time I saw you?" Veronique nodded. "Tell me about her," she encouraged, wanting to focus on something else for the moment.

Seeing the way Veronique's face lit up, Marissa knew it was the right question to ask and she settled in, feeling the warmth and love her friend had for her partner. She was glad Veronique had found someone. She'd always been a loner; part of their group, yet not fully integrated. Their conversation continued amiably for another quarter of an hour, the topics ranging from Clove to Veronique's research with the Bajorans to life in the library under Maria Roose, before they were interrupted by Janice Rand.

"I should be going," Veronique said as she stood from the couch, smiling at Rand in the doorway talking to Abby. The little girl had leapt at the chance to answer the door.

"I didn't mean to interrupt," Janice said, looking up from her crouch as she hugged Abby. "I just brought some extra clothes," she indicated the pile of things in her arm.

"No worries," Veronique smiled. "I've got to get back to work anyway." She approached Marissa and pulled her into another hug. "It's good to have you back – kiddo," she said softly, placing a kiss in Marissa hair. "Bye Abby," she waved at the toddler.

"Bye 'Nique," Abby grinned, waving back.

"See you later, Ronnie," Marissa smiled. "I look forward to seeing Clove."

"Me too," Veronique winked.

_Please review_

_A few things:_

_Thanks for all the support last week. It meant a lot and I'm feeling much more confident. I'm still a bit behind in buffer chapters, but I hope to catch up soon. I don't want to go on hiatus in the middle of the story!_

_The phrase "kiss bye" is from a book or a fanfiction that I once read and it has stuck with me. I can almost picture the scene – a young child is leaving with their parent(?) and scrambles down to give the person watching/who the child is leaving, a 'kiss bye' and for some reason this is significant as if it validates the person's presence in the child's life or proves something – I have no idea what. If this sounds familiar to anyone, please let me know because it's driving me nuts! _

_I have two versions of chapter 7 and 8; what I'll be posting and one that combines the two into one chapter and summarizes the chats Marissa has with Veronique, Rand and another visitor, because I knew a lot of this was repetition for the reader. I've decided to go with the longer version because royalpinkdogs told me to and I like the interaction between the women._

_Thanks again! - RA_


	8. Chapter 8

**Completion**

**Chapter 8**

Marissa laughed as the door swished closed and then turned to face Jim's yeoman. It had felt good to see her friend again despite some of their depressing topics.

"I'm sorry to interrupt," Janice repeated again. "It's just that I managed to get a couple more outfits from the quartermaster – and a uniform – but the captain says you aren't to wear it. You haven't been reinstated yet," she explained, anticipating Marissa's unasked question.

"Oh, okay," Marissa shrugged, taking the clothes. "Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Marissa placed the pile of clothes on the table and then turned to look at the other woman who was smiling fondly as she watched Abby play.

"Would you like some tea, Janice?" Marissa asked, her mind suddenly spinning with questions that she knew this woman could answer.

Rand paused. "Well, I am on duty…"

"Psssh," Marissa waved her hand in dismissal and went into the kitchen. "You're always on duty. What's a little tea break – or would you rather have coffee?"

"Tea is fine," Janice replied instantly.

"Have a seat," Marissa told her. "Milk or sugar?"

"Just a little milk."

"So, how are things on the bridge?" Marissa asked as she sat down and handed the other woman her drink.

Blowing softly and then taking a small sip, Rand gave a happy sigh as she continued to hold the tea under her nose and inhale the fragrant steam. "Pretty quiet," she replied. "It always is when we're in transit. Of course, there is always something to do…paperwork, requisitions…" she shrugged and then laughed. "Same ol', same old."

Grinning, Marissa took a sip of her tea, watching the other woman over the rim of her mug. "I imagine Jim still isn't enamored with paperwork."

"Not at all," Rand answered, her eyes looking at the ceiling as she shook her head. "But he's getting better – as long as I keep on him. If I don't nag him to finish the paperwork, I have to nag him to eat because he's determined to get through a month's worth of paperwork in a day. The man doesn't know how to take care of himself."

Marissa's lips quirked. "I'm glad he had someone watching over him," she said softly.

Rand head snapped up as she realized what she had said. "I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Janice," Marissa shook her head and smiled wryly. "Someone had to watch over him while I was…while I was gone."

The sat in awkward silence as they both watched Abby, who was oblivious to the conversation going on around her.

"He did well," Rand finally spoke. "I could tell…we all could tell that he was hurting, but he…he held it together."

"So I've heard," Marissa answered. "I've also heard that you had to convince him to have a memorial service a month after…everything."

Rand blushed and shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "I…I thought it was…it would be a good thing," she began hesitantly. "He was so…" she shrugged. "I thought it might give him…closure. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay, Janice," Marissa said again, reaching over and placing a hand on the other woman's arm, when she realized her comment had been taken the wrong way. "I appreciate what you did – for him and Abby. He had to let me go and…move on and a memorial service was necessary for that. I understand."

"He didn't want it," Rand told her. "He hated it, but we – Janine and Dr. McCoy and Christine and I – we convinced him that he needed to do it for himself and Abby – and the crew. I think that's what finally convinced him; the crew."

Marissa smiled sadly. "Well, he's Captain Kirk. His crew will always come first."

"I…" Rand started to protest.

"And Abby and I are part of that crew," Marissa interrupted. "I know who he is, Janice. Jim Kirk: captain, father, partner."

There was another pause as they sipped their drinks, this one not nearly as uncomfortable. Jim hadn't said much; McCoy had hinted, but Marissa wanted to know. It was all well and good for Jim to hover and take care of her, but she wanted to take care of him too. She wanted to exorcise the haunted look in his eyes that he sometimes got when he thought she couldn't see.

"Jim…Jim is…Jim," Marissa started with a wry smile. Rand cocked her head and looked at her curiously. "He'll take care of everyone else before he'll take care of himself."

Rand snorted. "True."

"He hasn't said much," Marissa continued, "but I need to know, Janice. I need to know what it was like for him. I want to help him. I want to…"

"Take care of him?" Rand finished for her. Marissa nodded. "It was…it was horrible," Rand finally told her. "When we heard that Mallorbia had been bombed and we thought that you were all there," she swallowed thickly. "I've never seen the captain so…pale and nonresponsive. Mr. Spock took him to his ready room and call for Dr. McCoy. I think we all thought…well, we assumed that he was emotionally compromised – and he was, but he didn't give up command and no one pushed him.

"After his initial reaction he was…I don't know what Dr. McCoy said or did, but he was back to himself, I guess," she shrugged. "Just hyper-focused on getting to M'Qtobau and finding you. It was obvious that he believed that you were still alive. Dr. McCoy had to force him to get some rest and he…he sent me off the bridge," she finished in a small voice.

"What?" Marissa asked in confusion.

Rand shook her head and frowned. "I couldn't stop crying. I think we all…we couldn't understand…How could you have survived, you know? The captain was so sure you were alive, but with what we knew…"

"You thought he was delusional," Marissa finished for her.

"Well, maybe," the other woman admitted, "but Mr. Spock and Dr. McCoy seemed to believe him, so they must have known something we didn't, but…" she shook her head. "I'm afraid I didn't handle it well," she told Marissa in a small voice, "at first when we got the news and later when we were sent away. The captain fought so hard to remain above M'Qtobau. We were ordered away three times before we finally left. I don't know what exactly happened, but the third time the captain and Mr. Spock were ordered into his ready room and the next thing we knew Mr. Spock was in command."

"Spock took command from Jim?" Marissa asked in surprise.

Rand shook her head. "The captain was ordered to stand down and…he was brought up on insubordination charges by Admiral Dekker."

"Oh my god," Marissa gasped, one hand coming up to cover her mouth.

"He punched his vidscreen," Rand told her hesitantly. "Shredded his hand. No one knows that – but I had to clean up the mess and Christine…she figured something was up when Dr. McCoy came back to Medical to get supplies rather than sending for them. The captain refused to have it totally healed. You can still see the scars across his knuckles if you know where to look."

Marissa hadn't known to look, but she would now.

"Mr. Spock was in charge until the hearing and then the captain was back – the charge is on his record with extenuating circumstances," Rand continued. "But after that…he was the same, but… not. He still did his job, but we…no one could talk about you; mention you. He'd just freeze them out. And I…I didn't make it easier on him," she admitted with a sniff. "Every time I saw him I thought of you and how he'd…light up; how animated he was around you. Happy, you know?" she asked, and could only Marissa nod.

"And then he just wasn't there. He'd do what he needed to do and say what he needed to say, but the…spark that was Jim Kirk just wasn't there anymore and I couldn't stop thinking how I would feel if I lost Christine and I…" she gave a watery sniff and shook her head. Marissa handed her a tissue and then took one of her own. "That's why I thought a memorial service might help. It would give him a chance to say good bye."

"It was a good idea," Marissa told her. "Jim's just too stubborn to admit it."

Rand gave a watery laugh. "Yeah, that's the captain, all right. It seemed to help a little bit, I guess, if only Ten…" she began to say harshly, but then her eyes widened and she stopped talking.

"If only Tenial hadn't stuck her oversized nose into everything," Marissa offered, with a humorless quirk of her lips.

"How did…"

"Veronique mentioned it," Marissa shrugged. "I can't say that I'm surprised that she made a play for Jim, I'm just surprised that she had the poor taste to do it right after my memorial service. What did Jim do?"

"Nothing!" Rand immediately protested.

Marissa smiled a little. "I know nothing happened between them, Janice," she explained patiently, "I was wondering what Jim did after he kicked her out."

"Oh, well, nothing," she repeated. "I don't think he wanted the headache, but then she started spreading rumors about him…and her…and you and…"

"You don't have to explain," Marissa told her wryly. "I can just imagine what she had to say. Did he do anything about the rumors?"

"He didn't," Janice said hesitantly, "but some of us, we kind of took her on via the grapevine and I think that was punishment enough."

Marissa laughed. She could just imagine a determined Janice Rand spreading rumors against Tenial. Everyone would believe Janice, after all. She was the captain's yeoman. "Is she still on the ship?" Marissa asked curiously.

"For now."

"For now?"

"Well, she's on her last warning, but you didn't hear that from me," Janice said quietly. "The captain's referred all disciplinary action against Tenial to Mr. Spock and Commander Anderson in cartography. She's basically hung herself with tardies, insubordination and at least one occurrence of intoxication while on duty."

Marissa couldn't hold back a vindictive grin. "I'm not surprised and I can't say I'm sorry."

Abby decided that she wanted to show Janice one of her guys, so Marissa sat back and watched her daughter interact with the other woman. She knew that Jim had relied heavily on Janice to help him and Abby. Christine had mentioned how much she had enjoyed watching Abby over night on the few occasions that Jim had been off the ship for an extended period. And watching Abby chatter away so comfortably, Marissa knew that Janice had formed a strong bond with her daughter for which she was grateful.

"Veronique mentioned something about Abby getting a bump on the head recently," Marissa commented, wanting to see how Janice responded. Not that it mattered if anything happened between Jim and the scientist, Marissa had been dead at the time as far as anyone knew, but she desperately wanted to know the woman's name. Carol what?

Janice made a sour face as she patted Abby on the head and relaxed back onto the couch. "It was a minor bump, but it scared Chekov – and the captain – pretty good. Abby was having fun on Ten Forward with Chekov and some of the visiting scientists and, well, there was a bit of tug of war over a scarf and Abby got a bump on her noggin."

"Veronique seemed to think that the scientist was using Abby to get to Jim," Marissa offered.

Rand looked her over carefully and then shrugged. "Well, in a nutshell, yes. She didn't make much of a secret of her interest from the moment she arrived. The captain did his best to avoid her, but she managed to finagle a dinner with him. It was supposed to be the whole scientific team, but somehow," Rand rolled her eyes in disgust, "everyone but Dr. Marcus ended up cancelling."

Marissa's stomach sank, though she tried not to show it. "So, this Dr. Marcus…Veronique thought her first name was Carol." Janice nodded, oblivious to Marissa's turmoil. "She was trying to seduce Jim?"

"Yes," Rand nodded, a frown on her face. "And when dinner didn't work out as she'd planned, she went for Abby, I guess; though it didn't really make any sense because it was their last night on the ship; not like anything was going to happen between them then." She shrugged. "She was really apologetic when she left, but the captain was nice enough; said it was an accident and wished them all good luck."

"Well, Jim's an attractive guy and he does have a reputation," Marissa said absently, her mind spinning. Carol Marcus had been on the ship. And Ambassador Spock had told her that in the other universe Jim and Carol had had a son. It didn't necessarily follow that it would happen here and now, but…this was where Marissa started to really worry; Jim had apologized for giving up on her - for believing she was dead. But what if that giving up had included moving on and seeking comfort in the arms of another woman – a woman he had been attracted to in another time? In his past he had sought comfort and closeness in the beds of random women, had he fallen back on old habits? Was that how he had given up?

She didn't want to think so, but she couldn't blame him if that had been the case. She'd been dead. What else was he supposed to do but move on with his life and try to find some happiness; some sort of connection. The thought made her ill, but she had to face it. It could have happened. It had happened before. And if it had happened and history, or whatever, was repeating itself she wanted to know because there was no way she was going to let Jim's son grow up without his father. That was not going to happen.

"Thanks for the tea, Marissa," Rand interrupted her dark thoughts. "I need to get back to work, but it was a nice break. I hope I didn't upset you with…everything. I just wanted to drop off the clothes."

Marissa shook her head, bringing her thoughts back to the present. "No, not at all," she reassured the woman. "I mean, the whole thing is upsetting, but I needed to know. It explains some things. Thank you." She stood up and hugged Rand. "Can I ask you one more thing?" Marissa asked hesitantly. There was another issue Rand could possibly clear up.

"Of course," was the instantaneous reply.

"I know you said to ask Jim, but he's been avoiding the topic every time I mention it and I don't want to…to push him. At least not yet."

Janice looked at her warily, waiting for the question.

"Why don't I have any clothes?" Marissa asked. "I understand that they…that Jim would need to pack them away, but…there are other things missing too. My quilt and the picture above the entertainment center and some of the things I bought off world. Where are those things and why…why did he get rid of them?"

"If he hasn't said anything…" Rand began hesitantly. "It really isn't my place to say, but he didn't want to," Rand said honestly, reaching out to grasp Marissa's hand reassuringly. "But he had to."

Marissa nodded, still confused. "I understand that. I was gone. He didn't need my stuff cluttering up his space and reminding him…but…I know Judith's things were in storage and Jason's and Dick's. Where are mine? If nothing else, they should have gone to Abby. I would have liked her to have my quilt and some of my clothes…to remember me by."

"Oh, Marissa," Rand said sadly. "He didn't want to pack them up and he didn't want to send them away, but he had to." She paused, taking a deep breath. "It's not my place to say why," she repeated. "Ask him. Just know that it wasn't easy and he didn't want to do it but he had to."

"Okay," Marissa replied hesitantly. She could see how this was upsetting Rand, the woman looked close to tears, and she didn't want to prod her anything further. "Thank you for telling me what you did. I really appreciate it."

Rand nodded and tried to smile. "I'm just glad you're back."

"Me too," Marissa agreed, squeezing the Rand's hand one more time before letting go and turning to Abby. "Say good bye to Miss Janice, Abby."

"Bye Miz Janiz," Abby parroted, but she had moved on to her piano, so her attention was mostly engaged with the instrument.

"Bye Abby, see you later," Rand laughed, not expecting a response.

Marissa walked her over to the door, her mind going over everything Rand had said. She was just saying good bye one last time when both of them were surprised by the person standing in the hallway as the door swished open.

"Ambassador!" Marissa exclaimed in surprise.

"Marissa," the old Vulcan bowed politely. "Yeoman Rand."

"Ambassador," the Rand nodded in greeting. "I was just leaving." She turned back to Marissa. "Let me know if you need anything else, Marissa. I'll make sure to kick the captain off the bridge before lunch," she added with a grin.

Marissa chuckled. "Thanks." Then she turned to her new guest. When had their quarters become Grand Central Station she wondered absently. "Come in, Ambassador."

"If you are sure," the Vulcan hesitated. "I do not wish to disturb you."

"It's just Abby and me," she waved him into the room. "You are more than welcome. Jim mentioned that you were on the ship. I'm surprised I haven't seen you sooner."

"I did not wish to impinge on your time so soon after your arrival," he explained.

"Sel-eck!" Abby's happy cry stopped anything Marissa might have said as the toddler raced across the room only to stop before the Vulcan, clasp her hands in front of her and bow. "_Ne'shau_ Sel-eck," she said politely, before hugging him around the knees.

"_Na'shaya_, Abby," Selek replied, patting the child on the head. "Are you enjoying your time with your mother?"

"Mama come home!" Abby told him with a wide smile.

"Yes, I see that," Selek agreed. "I have come to visit her. Would that be pleasing to you?"

"Yes! I plays piano," Abby declared, letting go of his knees and running back to her instrument.

"That would be most pleasing," the Vulcan nodded.

Marissa shook her head at their interaction. McCoy had warned her that Abby had taking a liking to Ambassador Selek, but she was more attached than Marissa had expected. She had quite happily greeted Rand and Veronique, but Selek was the only one to get such an enthusiastic welcome as well as a hug.

"Come in, Ambassador," Marissa told him. "Have a seat. Can I get you something to drink? Some tea?"

"I am not in need of refreshment," he told her as he took a seat in one of the chairs. Marissa resumed her place on the couch and looked at him expectantly. "It is good to see you back on the _Enterprise_," he opened the conversation.

"Thank you," she replied. "It is good to be back."

Selek watched her for a moment his eyes taking in everything.

"M'Qtobau was not kind to you, I gather," he finally said, not commenting on anything specific, but his eyes did not miss anything.

Marissa shrugged. "It wasn't easy and there wasn't a lot of food towards the end, but it wasn't horrible. We were only under direct attack for the last two weeks or so. For the most part it was just hanging out in caves and planning."

"From what I have heard, your actions are to be commended," Selek stated. "Jim is very proud of what you accomplished and how you helped the M'Qtobauans."

"It was a team effort," Marissa demurred. "We did what we had to do. UNISTAR was manipulating the government and the people of M'Qtobau. Ambassador Boyarsky and Ranoyl only wanted to stop them."

"I imagine you could sympathize."

"I don't like UNISTAR and companies like them," Marissa said defensively, crossing her arms, "and if Starfleet or anyone else has a problem with that, well, that's their problem."

The ambassador gave her an almost smile. "I agree with you, as does Jim."

"And Starfleet?" Marissa asked. "I know something is happening on Galdonterre," she continued before he could comment. "Jim's too concerned about it for it to be just shore leave, and our communications array being damaged is just too much of a coincidence. Is he getting ready to defend me – us – and our actions on M'Qtobau? Is that what it's all about?"

It was the only scenario Marissa could come up with, despite what Jim had told her earlier about Starfleet somehow being involved. After all, what they had done, choosing a side and actually fighting, went against their away team mission statement to observe and report. In her mind it was totally justified. UNISTAR was causing the problem; UNISTAR was manipulating the government in order to make a profit and in the process hurting the people of M'Qtobau. But Starfleet and the Federation had long let UNISTAR do as it wished, no matter how many complaints were lodge or papers written. UNISTAR was just too big.

Selek looked at her, one eyebrow raised thoughtfully. "I do not believe that Jim wants you to worry about such matters."

Marissa looked over at the Vulcan wryly. "Well, Jim is out of luck then, isn't he? Of course I'm going to worry. He hasn't asked for a statement from any of us. He hasn't asked anything about M'Qtobau and what happened there aside from when he spoke with Ambassador Boyarsky and Ranoyl. And he and Spock seem to be up to something with this communications black out."

"Jim is relieved to have you back," Selek offered. "Perhaps he does not wish to burden you…"

"Yeah, right," Marissa shook her head. "Somehow I don't think you'd still be here if Galdonterre was just shore leave."

"Perhaps you are right," Selek finally said after a long moment of silence. "I do have other duties to New Vulcan and the Vulcan Science Academy, but sometimes friendship must come first and in my search for information regarding your…demise, I have come across information that is of interest to members of Starfleet."

"The Admiralty," Marissa bluntly stated. "So the away team is under investigation."

"I did not say that," Selek corrected her. "It is Jim's place to discuss the details of what will or will not be happening on Galdonterre – in his own time, but I do not wish you to worry. You and the M'Qtobau away team are only minor players in what will be unfolding."

"And Jim?"

Selek almost smiled again. "Jim is never a minor player," he said fondly. "It was his determination to find out the truth behind your – supposed – death that has brought this all about, or rather brought things to this juncture so quickly."

Leaning back into the couch, Marissa watched the older Vulcan for a moment. She could see the resemblance to the Spock of her time, but only at times, like a glance out of the corner of her eye. He was same man, older, yet very, very different.

"You're not going to tell me anything, are you?" she finally asked.

He agreed with a slight nod at her perception. "It is not my place. Jim will inform you as he sees fit. I will tell you that you should not worry. You and Jim, as well as the members of the away team will be fine. What will happen on Galdonterre is not about you, or Jim for that matter. At least for the most part," he added.

"Fine," Marissa agreed. "I'll wait for Jim. We're two or three days out I think. I can wait a bit longer, I suppose. Though he's been pretty tight lipped the few times I've asked, or even hinted."

"He does not want you to worry," Selek interjected.

Marissa gave a huffing laugh. "Well, that's all well and good, but I do still worry. But I'll drop the topic for now if you can answer something else for me."

"If it is in my power," Selek conceded.

Taking a deep breath, Marissa let it out forcefully. She found that she was tightly gripping her hands in her lap and made herself relax them. "Tell me about Carol Marcus and Jim."

Selek looked at her curiously. "As far as I know she and your Jim are not acquainted," he stated. "Why do you wish to know about her?"

"Because she was here, on the _Enterprise_," Marissa told him, rubbing her hands on her thighs in agitation.

"She was?" Marissa nodded, noticing the slight look of surprise on his face. "When?"

"As far as I can tell, a week or two ago," Marissa answered. "I think they dropped off the team she was with right before they picked you up."

"I see," the Vulcan said, his eyes no longer focused as he became lost in thought.

Marissa waited as patiently as she could, but after a minute or two she gave up.

"What? Tell me about her. About her relationship with Jim – your Jim," she prodded.

"I do not know much," he began, only to nod briefly at Marissa's glare when he attempted to be evasive. "But I believe what you really wish to know is about their son, David Marcus."

"Yes," Marissa agreed, swallowing heavily, a sick feeling in her stomach.

"Do you have reason to believe that something may have occurred between Jim and Carol while she was on the _Enterprise_?" Selek asked.

Marissa shrugged and then shook her head, as she clasped her arms tightly around her stomach. "I don't know," she admitted. "I know that she was on the ship and I know, from Janice Rand and Veronique Meredith, that she was interested in Jim; that she even tried to win Abby over. But I don't know if…if they…" she couldn't finish.

"It would not be an infidelity if something did occur between them," Selek pointed out. "You cannot blame Jim…"

"I don't blame Jim," Marissa cut him off vehemently. "If something happened; if they…slept together…" She shook her head to ward off the images of Jim with another woman. "I was dead. Jim thought I was dead. But I need to know…about David. Could he…is he going to be…born now? If..?"

"David Marcus was born on Stardate 2261.80 in my time," Selek finally said after a pause.

Marissa did some mental calculations and a stricken look came over her face. "So it's possible. If something…If they…"

"Yes, it is possible," Selek agreed. "But I do not know how likely. Jim is very much enamored of you and his grief was obvious for all to see."

Marissa held up a hand to stop him. She knew what he was going to say. Jim loved her. He had mourned her and he had worked hard to basically avenge her death, only to find out she was actually alive. Yet he was also a Jim Kirk with a certain history when it came to sex and comfort. She couldn't discount the possibility that something had happened.

"If this brings you pain, why do you wish to pursue this information?" Selek interrupted her thoughts. "If as you say you do not blame Jim if something did occur, why did you ask? It has already occurred, if anything in fact did occur between them. Will not asking Jim, as I assume you will, not cause a…rift between the two of you?"

"It might," Marissa agreed softly, her eyes closed. "But I have to know."

"Why?"

Marissa sighed and then wiped away a lone tear. "Because if something did happen and there is a possibility that…that things proceed like they did in your time, then that means that Jim may well have another son in nine months and I will not let that child grow up without his father."

Her words seem to take Selek by surprise. "You wish to find out for Jim?"

"Of course," Marissa replied instantly. "He deserves to know if…if a child was conceived."

"In my time Jim was aware of David's birth" Selek pointed out, "and it was a mutual agreement that Carol would raise the boy on her own."

Marissa gave him a sad half smile. "That was your Jim, and I'm sorry, but he's nothing like my Jim. Jim would want to know and Jim would want to be a part of his son's life. In your time he and Carol were in relationship, right?"

"I believe so," Selek agreed.

"Well, this would be a one night stand," Marissa pointed out practically. "They have no relationship, nothing to base anything on. Who is to say that this Carol Marcus would even tell him? Jim would want to know."

Selek seemed to ponder her words carefully. "I find myself agreeing. Jim would want to know. He is a most conscientious father."

"Yes, he is," Marissa agreed with wry laugh at the Vulcan's way of stating things. "And he would want to know if he had a son."

"You said another son, earlier," Selek asked obliquely.

"I did," Marissa said, rubbing a hand over her belly. "I was pregnant when I went down to M'Qtobau, though I didn't know it."

"May I offer my congratulations?" Selek asked. "I know that Jim believed you to be with child, but he has neither confirmed nor negated his assertion in the few times I have spoken with him since your return."

"I'm sure he has other things on his mind when he talks with you," Marissa said wryly.

"He does," Selek agreed. He glanced over at Abby who was still happily playing her piano. "I believe that I should take my leave. In all honesty I only came here to welcome you back and to see that you were well. I did not mean to say anything to upset you."

"No one expects the Spanish Inquisition," Marissa said with a small, humorless laugh.

"Indeed?" Selek commented, both his eyebrows high on his forehead at her choice of phrase.

"I appreciate you stopping by," Marissa said as she stood up. "And thank you for all that you did to help Jim in his…search. I can't say I'm sorry that I grilled you, but I am sorry if that made you uncomfortable." She shrugged.

"I have taken no offense," Selek told her with a small bow. "I wish you well."

"Thank you," she replied.

Selek said a few words to Abby in Vulcan and the toddler hugged him again before he left with a small bow in Marissa's direction.

Looking over at the chrono, Marissa sighed. It was still too early for lunch, but she really didn't want to be left alone when her mind was spinning with all the information that she'd gleaned from her visitors. It felt like she'd been talking for hours, but Rand had only stayed for twenty minutes, and Selek just a bit more than that. Apparently it was going to be a really long day, especially if she had to make it through lunch, swimming and whatever else Jim might have planned for the evening before she could even think of talking to him about…everything. And that was a conversation she really wasn't looking forward to.

"So, Abby, how about a snack?" she asked her daughter.

"Chweese?" Abby asked hopefully.

"That sounds good to me," Marissa agreed. "How about some apple to go with it?"

"O-tay," Abby nodded. "Watch Smooglies?"

Marissa squatted down to place a kiss on Abby's curly-haired head. "All right," Marissa gave in. "I'll go fix us something and then maybe we can sit on the couch and eat our snack." Not waiting for a response, Marissa went into the kitchen and prepared their food, glad to have something to focus on, even if it was just cutting up a couple of apples and watching Smooglies. It wasn't high entertainment, but it was catchy. She only hoped that she didn't end up humming the stupid songs for the rest of the day.

_Please review_


	9. Chapter 9

_Merry Christmas to everyone out there who celebrates it and Happy Holidays to everyone else. I actually have time to post this morning as my hubby is picking up my step father-in-law and brother-in-law at their hotel. So far so good with their visit. I did post a Jim and Marissa outtake – _I'm Dreaming of a Kirk Christmas_ – in case you missed it. I actually started writing it last year, but never finished it. Thanks to Royalpinkdogs for kicking me in the rear to get it done this year and for all her lovely support and betaing. - RA_

**Completion**

**Chapter 9**

Marissa sighed as she switched off the Smooglies vid. She'd allowed Abby to talk her into another episode, but two was the most she could handle. Glancing over at the chrono she realized it was at least another hour until naptime. Jim should be back soon for lunch, though she doubted Abby would be very hungry. She'd eaten all of her cheese and half of Marissa's, as well as a whole apple. It was amazing what her little body could put away when she was hungry.

"Mama swim?" Abby asked hopefully. She looked up at her mother from her nest on the floor with all her guys and quite a few pillows.

Marissa smiled tiredly and shook her head. "Not yet, baby girl," she told the toddler. "First we have to have lunch with dada and then it's nap time and then we can go swimming, okay?"

Abby didn't answer, she was talking to Selhat. Marissa didn't bother to repeat herself. She knew a toddler's attention ebbed and flowed easily. Leaning back, she closed her eyes and forced herself to breathe deeply; trying to release the tension she was feeling. It wasn't easy, but she managed somewhat; breathing in through her nose and out through her mouth, her hands absently caressed her belly. Tonight she and Jim could talk and everything would be better and she wouldn't have this lead weight sitting in her stomach making her queasy.

"Mama?" Abby asked after a few minutes. She'd abandoned her guys and was now bouncing right in front of Marissa, her small hands gripping her mother's knees.

"Yes, baby girl?"

"Go swimin' now?" she said hopefully, her head cocked in a gesture reminiscent of Jim at his most persuasive.

Marissa laughed lightly and brushed some curls off of Abby's forehead. "Not right now," she repeated, shaking her head. "Remember I said we have to have lunch first?"

"No hun'gwy," Abby told her.

"But you still have to take a nap," Marissa pointed out.

"No sweepy," Abby said stubbornly.

"Well, I am," Marissa told her with a smile. She caressed the little girl's hair one more time. "We'll go swimming soon, baby girl. But not yet. We have to wait…" Marissa trailed off as she saw the horrified look on Abby's face. "Abby, what's wrong?" she asked in concern. "Abby?" she repeated when the little girl said nothing and backed away from her, her face a storm cloud waiting to happen.

"No go swimin' soon?" she actually whined, her lower lip quivering.

Sitting forward, Marissa reached for her, but Abby managed to avoid her grasp, instead stumbling over her guys and landing on her bottom. "We'll go swimming soon, Abby," Marissa reassured her calmly. "After lunch and nap. We'll go swimming then, okay?"

"Soon?" Abby asked again, her voice now trembling.

"Yes, soon," Marissa nodded, bewildered by Abby's sudden change of mood. She knew that toddlers tended to be adamant about what they wanted to do and when they wanted to do it, but this seemed a bit extreme.

No sooner than the words were out of her mouth than a fearsome scream tore from Abby's lungs as the tears began to stream down Abby's face and she began to howl.

"Abby!" Marissa said in shock as she watched her daughter have a hysterical attack.

She flopped over onto her tummy, her little legs kicking and her fists beating against the pillows under her as she screamed and wailed. Marissa could pick out the words "no" and "mama" and "swimming" and "soon," but she still had no idea what had set the toddler off. Getting down on her knees, Marissa tried to gather Abby into her arms, as she had always done when she was just a baby upset by the emergency claxons, but Abby was having none of that. She kicked and yelled until she'd wiggled away from her mother, managing to land a couple really strong kicks to Marissa's legs and belly.

"No! No!" she cried. "Mama no go soon. No swimin' soon! No soon!"

Marissa kneeled on the floor, horrified to see her daughter scramble away from her, wedging herself under the dining table.

"Abby, please come here," Marissa cajoled, she tried to look reassuring, but she was beginning to cry and her voice was thick. "Please, baby girl? Can you come here?"

Abby continued to whimper, the tears streaming down her face, her head shaking back and forth vigorously. "No, no, no, no, no," she repeated. "Mama no go soon. No swim soon."

"Abby," Marissa tried again. "Mama's right here. Mama's not going anywhere. We'll go swimming after nap. That's good, right?"

"No go soon," Abby hiccoughed wetly. "No swim soon."

"Yes, we'll go soon," Marissa told her patiently, absently wiping the tears on her own cheeks as she reached for Abby. "I promise. Soon, baby girl." She'd almost touched Abby's leg, when Abby jerked away, screaming "NO" and accidentally knocking her head into the leg of a chair.

Abby howled in pain, grabbing the back of her head. Marissa let out a sob of her own as she stood up and quickly rounded the table, her only thought to get to Abby.

"Oh, baby girl," Marissa said thickly, moving aside the chairs so that she could reach under the table. "Come here. Mama's sorry. Are you okay?" she babbled soothingly, trying once again to reach for Abby who had scurried to the other side of the table and whose cries were now reaching siren proportions.

With another trip around the table Marissa managed to get hold of Abby whose cries seemed to quiet down as Marissa held and rocked her, stroking back her hair and mumbling soothingly to the distraught little girl.

Things seemed to be calming down, until they both noticed that Abby had wet her pants and the strong smell of urine filled the room.

"Oh baby," Marissa said sympathetically. "Let's go change your clothes and then as soon as we've had lunch…"

"No!" Abby screeched, shoving at Marissa face and accidentally catching her hand in her mother's hair. "No, no, no!"

"Ow!" Marissa exclaimed, trying to untangle Abby's chubby fist from her pony tail. "Abby, that hurts. Stop!"

"No mama!" Abby declared as she wiggled from her mother's grasp once again. "No go soon. No! No!"

"Abby, calm down," Marissa tried again. "Dada will be here soon and…"

The little girl's face crumpled again and the amount of tears seemed to suddenly double. "Dada!" she screamed loud enough to make Marissa flinch. "Wan' dada! Dada! Dada!" she called over and over again, each time like a stab through Marissa's heart.

"Dada's coming, baby girl," Marissa tried to reassure her. "He'll be here soon and…"

The wailing started again, and Marissa froze. She was clearly out of her depth here. Abby was just getting more and more worked up, her face red and sweaty and covered in tears and snot.

"Let's go change your clothes and then we…" Marissa started again, but Abby wasn't even listening to her anymore as she continued to sob and scream, this time about "dada" and "soon" and "home," her breaths coming fast and uneven, laying on the floor kicking.

"Abby, please," Marissa pleaded, once again trying to reach out to her. "Please, let mama help. Please stop crying baby girl. Please."

Ignoring her, Abby curled herself around Selhat and hid her face in a pillow, her whole body trembling with the force of her sobs. Whenever Marissa touched her, trying to comfort her, she'd kick out and her chorus of, "no, no, no" would begin again.

Holding her hand to her mouth Marissa let out a wretched sob, but then forced herself to stand up. Wiping away her tears, she went into the office and sat at Jim's desk. With an unsteady hand, she keyed on the comm. and pressed Jim's contact button.

"O'Donnell to Captain Kirk," she managed to say after swallowing heavily. She was afraid the computer wouldn't recognize her voice.

There was a pause. "Marissa?" Jim responded, obviously worried. "What's wrong?"

Marissa tried to speak, but the words seemed stuck in her throat.

"Marissa?" he repeated worriedly.

"Can you…"she whispered before clearing her throat. "Can you come back now, please?" she asked, her voice breaking on the last word.

"I'm on my way," he replied briskly. She could hear the heavy sounds of his footfalls. He was practically running. "Are you okay? Is Abby okay?" he demanded, his breathing harsher as he hurried to her.

"We're fine," she reassured him. "It's just…something happened," she tried to explain, angrily wiping away tears as she tried not to sob. "I said something or…I don't know…and Abby's…she's…she won't stop crying and I don't know what to do," she admitted. With a sob she let herself cry, Abby's whimpers tearing through her. "Please hurry," she managed to whisper.

"I'm almost there," Jim reassured her, his voice echoing slightly. Absently she realized that he must be in one of the Jeffries tubes rather than waiting for the lift.

"Okay," Marissa managed to squeak out. She pulled her knees under her chin as she sat in his chair. From her vantage point she could still see Abby. The toddler was tiring, but she was still crying, her little chest heaving. She didn't dare go near her again in fear that she'd start the tantrum all over again.

"Marissa!" Jim called the moment the door swished opened.

Marissa gave a little sob of relief and buried her face into her knees.

"Dada!" Abby cried, kicking and writhing with new energy. 

Jim knelt by her side and tried to take her into his arms, but she struggled away from him. "Abby," he spoke firmly. "Where's mama?"

Abby shook her head and began to cry some more, arching her back and pushing away from him. "No mama go soon," she screamed. "No swimin' soon. Dada no go soon."

"Shhh, shhhh," Jim tried to sooth the distraught toddler. "Shhh. I'm here. Okay? Everything's going to be fine."

"No go soon," Abby repeated, still kicking, though she appeared to be tiring.

Marissa watched as Jim suddenly seemed to understand what was going on, his mouth forming an 'oh' shape and a painful expression coming over his face.

"Abby. Abby, ssshhhh. Calm down baby girl. I'm here. Mama's here. We're all home. Sssshhhh. It's okay, baby," Jim quietly repeated over and over again as he gently rubbed her back and stroked her hair, gradually bringing peace to the frantic child.

After quite a while, he finally managed to calm the hysterical toddler, scooping her into his arms. Hugging her close, whispering something Marissa couldn't hear, he looked around and spotted Marissa moving over to the doorway into the office.

"Marissa," he said softly. Abby instantly froze in his arms, so he stopped where he was.

She tried to smile at him through her tears. "I'm okay, really," she told him. "I just…" she trailed off, running her hand under her nose. "I'll be fine. Take care of Abby first. I'll be fine."

He looked torn.

Marissa shook her head. "Abby," she told him.

"Okay," he said with a heavy sigh. "I'll be back."

She nodded. He carried Abby towards her room, talking softly to her about calming down and changing her clothes. Once they were gone, Marissa let out a shaky sigh and tried to make herself stop crying. She had no idea what she had done to set Abby off like she had, but she was glad that Jim apparently knew. She didn't want to make the same mistake again. And she definitely didn't want to go through something like that again. To see Abby so distraught and upset and not be able to do anything about it made her feel helpless. What kind of mother was she that she had upset her child that much?

Not moving from Jim's chair, she pressed her cheek against her knees and stared at the wall behind her desk. It was empty now – the desk and the shelves behind it. Even her map of the quadrant was gone, but her wall of pictures remained, she could just make it out from the corner of her eye; all the pictures showing the phases of their lives together with Abby and their friends over the years. At least Jim hadn't taken that down.

She must have dozed off, because the feeling of Jim's hand on her arm caused her to startle and almost fall out of the chair, one of her feet slipping out from under her.

"How are you doing?" Jim asked softly, his firm grip keeping her from falling.

Opening her mouth to say she was okay, Marissa found that she couldn't say anything as she stared up at Jim, her eyes welling with tears.

"Oh, Mariss," Jim said sadly as he scooped her up in his arms and then sat down in his chair, holding her close as he had done with Abby.

"Is Abby…" Marissa tried to speak before a sob welled up and stopped her.

"Abby's fine," he reassured her. "She's exhausted, but fine. I changed her clothes and got her to calm down. She's asleep in our bed and probably will be for a good hour or two." He pressed a kiss to her head. "How are you?"

"I…" Marissa sniffed. "I don't know what happened," she admitted wetly. "One minute things were fine. She wanted to go to the pool and I told her she had to wait and then…she just…exploded. She wouldn't listen to me and she wouldn't let me touch her and then she hit her head and wet her pants and…" she stopped as the tears overwhelmed her.

Jim sighed, hugging her close, his hand slowly rubbing up and down her leg. "I should have warned you," he said sadly.

"Warned me about what?" Marissa asked in confusion, wiping at her eyes again as she glanced up at him.

"I'm guessing you told her we'd go to the pool soon, right?" Jim asked.

Marissa nodded, still looking up at Jim and seeing the pained expression on his face.

"When you were…when you were gone, that's what I told her," Jim explained slowly. "That you'd be home soon. Only, you weren't, but in her mind…"

"Oh god," Marissa sobbed, pressing her fist to her mouth. "I told her that over and over. We'd go soon. And she…"

"Shhh," Jim squeezed her. "You couldn't have known. It's just that over time, in her mind…you coming home soon changed into you not coming home at all and it…it became a negative. We learned…I learned to give specifics; in an hour or tomorrow morning. For a two year old she has an excellent grasp of time," he tried to say humorously, but it fell flat.

"Because her mother wasn't coming home soon," Marissa whispered brokenly.

"Yeah," Jim agreed softly.

They sat there for a few minutes, neither saying anything. After all, what could they say? As well adjusted and happy as Abby had seemed, Marissa's absence had hurt her in ways that they hadn't yet realized. As a parent it was so painful to see your child hurting and not be able to fix it.

"This is going to take a while to heal, isn't it?" Marissa asked in a broken voice. "Every time we turn around there's something else that has changed."

"It will just take time," Jim finally said after a long sigh. "But we're here, we're together and nothing else matters.

"Are there any other triggers I need to know about?" Marissa finally asked after a couple more minutes of silence. Jim had been gently rubbing her leg as she calmed, but he paused at her question, thinking it over.

"You might not want to mention goose eggs when you look at her head," he told her. "That was another night of crying and bad head bumps."

"Her head…" Marissa moved to sit up. "She bumped it on…"

"The chair," Jim finished for her, pulling her back against him. "She told me and she's fine. Barely a red spot."

"Oh," Marissa allowed herself to relax. "That's good. So, goose eggs?" she questioned.

"That's what Bones called it when he saw it – the bump on her forehead," Jim explained partially. "She talked about her goose egg for a while. One night after it happened she was playing with her guys and I heard her give one of them a goose egg and he had to go away. It really scared her, I think."

"Poor baby," Marissa frowned. "I imagine it would. How did she get this 'goose egg?'"

Jim's hand stilled again and Marissa could feel him consciously let go of the sudden tension that had filled his body. "There was a bunch of scientists that we were hauling to Regula," he explained, his hand once again moving against her. "On their last night before we got rid of them they held a party in Ten Forward. They had this guy – he was a sight to see; bald, shirtless, with several huge earrings, and scarves tied around his biceps. Quite the character and Abby was fascinated by him, and he her," he said with a faint smile. "I had promised to bring Abby to the party and it was fine for awhile, Sevrin carting Abby around, but it didn't end well."

When he didn't continue Marissa let out an exasperated huff. "Well, what happened?"

Jim smiled slightly, his lip barely quirking up, as he stared over at the wall. "One of the female scientists…she…Abby dropped the scarf Sevrin had tied around her head like a pirate, and the scientist picked it up at the same time Abby did. There was a bit of a tug o' war and Abby lost her grip, fell against a table and a mug or something fell on her head. It was a glancing blow, but it scared her – and Chekov. Bones scanned her. She was fine, but if you ask her, she'll tell you a 'mean lady' tried to take her 'sharf' and gave her a goose egg," he told her with a chuckle. "It was a total accident, but everything is black or white with her."

"So who was this scientist lady and why did she think it was a good idea to get between a toddler and her 'sharf?'" Marissa asked with an attempt at humor, but her stomach was leaden again. This was the opening she wanted, but now that it was here, she wasn't sure she could go through with it.

"A subatomic remodeling scientist that was not able to read people very well," Jim snorted.

Marissa waited a beat or two to see if he would say anything else. "Was her name Carol Marcus?"

"Yeah," Jim nodded, then he startled. "Wait. How do you know about her?" he asked warily.

Keeping her head buried against his chest, Marissa tried to control her racing heartbeat. "When Ronnie and Janice were here they told me about some of the things you went through," she told him. "But Selek had already told me about her – Carol Marcus – on Stratnon," she added in a whisper.

Jim looked down at her and frowned, his mind putting things together. "How…We got rid of them right before we picked him up. How did he…did you say Stratnon?" Jim asked incredulously.

Marissa nodded, not looking up at him. "She was in his other reality…" she trailed off, letting the comment hang there.

Jim sat there for a long moment. "And he mentioned her? To you? Why? What happened?"

Sighing, Marissa closed her eyes. Even though everything she was about to tell Jim happened in another time, another reality, to another person, it still hurt. "It seems his Jim Kirk and Carol Marcus were in a relationship," she told him.

"What kind of relationship?" Jim asked, his voice hoarse.

"Serious," Marissa admitted.

"Like how serious?"

Marissa sighed. "They had a son named David Marcus," she told him.

"Jesus," Jim whispered, his hand suddenly gripping her leg. "Are you kidding me?"

"No," Marissa responded, shaking her head. "At least if Selek is to be trusted. His Jim Kirk and Carol had a child together, but she raised the boy by herself. His Kirk didn't even meet his son until right before the boy died."

She could feel Jim swallow several times. "She didn't…she didn't tell him she was pregnant?"

"No, he knew."

That shocked Jim, his whole body tensing. "And he never met his kid?" he asked incredulously, looking down at Marissa with his eyebrows reaching almost to his hairline. "Good God. What kind of jerk was he?"

"I don't know," Marissa said quietly. "But that's what Selek told me today. He'd mentioned Carol on Stratnon briefly, but…when Ronnie and Janice mentioned her today…I just couldn't…I had to ask him."

Jim just nodded, his mind obviously elsewhere. 

"Jim," Marissa spoke up as he remained silent. "Selek said that David was born on 2261.80. That means…For your sake and… Jim, if something…happened…between you two… It's okay. But you have to…if something happened…" she trailed off awkwardly, waiting for some kind of response.

"Wait," Jim looked down at her, his eyes finally focusing on her. "What? You think…Me and Carol?"

"It happened before," Marissa replied, not looking away from him; trying to let him know with her eyes that it was okay, if something had happened.

"In another…reality!" Jim argued, waving his hand frantically and then running it through his hair in agitation.

"Jim it's okay," Marissa started in a soothing tone.

Suddenly standing up, Jim set Marissa on her feet. Holding her shoulders firmly, he bent down to look her in the eye. "No it's not, Marissa. It's not okay." With that he let go and stalked over to the wall of pictures. She didn't think he saw any of them.

Walking over to stand behind him, Marissa reached out a tentative hand. "Jim, we can contact her and…and find out. We can…"

"You think I slept with her?" Jim wheeled around to face her, his face an incredulous mask horror and indignation.

Taking a step away, Marissa forced herself not to hold up her hands as if he was going to rush at her. "I think that it would be…it wouldn't be…bad…if you had," Marissa told him, all the while her eyes were filling with tears and her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. "I was dead, after all – as far as you knew. And if David…"

Jim breathed in deeply through his nose and closed his eyes, obviously trying to remain calm. "I didn't sleep with Carol," he told her, each word clipped and angry. "So there is no way there will be a David Marcus being born now or at any other time in the future that is the child of Carol and me, all right? Why would you even think…" he trailed off, giving her a hurt look.

This time Marissa couldn't stop her tears. She didn't know if they were in relief or in response to Jim's hurt. "I was dead," she tried to explain, "and it had happened before."

"In another reality," Jim said bitterly. "Just because it happened then doesn't mean it was going to happen here. I am not Selek's Jim, I thought you knew that."

"I do," Marissa said, reaching out for him, but he stepped away. "I do know that, but it just seemed…too coincidental. You had been attracted to her then and…"

"So I had to be attracted to her now?" Jim demanded angrily.

"And you weren't?" Marissa countered.

A look of guilt flashed across his face and Marissa felt her stomach sink. He had been attracted to her.

Tilting his head back and heaving a deep sigh, Jim took a moment to reign in his emotions as Marissa watched and waited.

"She was attractive," he told her slowly. "Tall, blonde, smart…apparently what everyone considers my 'type,'" he added derisively, "but there was one very important difference."

"What?" Marissa asked when he didn't continue.

He looked her in the eye and managed to smile wryly. "She wasn't you," he told her honestly.

Marissa felt her cheeks flush at the naked honesty in his gaze. "But I was dead," she countered. "You thought I was dead."

Jim shook his head. "Doesn't matter," he told her, reaching to take her hands and squeezing them. "You were…gone, but I…I couldn't… I wasn't even tempted," he admitted. "Carol made no secret of her interest in me and was not shy about her offer. She wanted one last fling with the _Enterprise's_ bad boy captain, but she didn't know about you. She didn't know that I loved you and that everyone else paled in comparison."

"But…" Marissa stared at him, her mouth agape.

"No buts, Marissa," Jim told her earnestly. "You may have been…dead," he spit out the word, obviously uncomfortable with it, "but you were still…in my heart. I wasn't going to cheapen what we had with a fling with a stranger," he said honestly. "She tried, believe me, she tried, but I was not interested. In fact, I probably totally ruined her image of me when I practically ran from our dinner together," he admitted with an attempt at humor. "She was making all the moves I was familiar with and I…I just couldn't deal with it. Not because I was tempted, but because it just…it made me think of you and what I'd lost and I just couldn't deal with it…with her."

He pulled her into his arms and held her tightly, kissing the top of her head. "She came here later that night with a bottle of wine and…well, she laid all her cards on the table; what she wanted and why. I politely declined and we…we spent the evening talking," he squeezed her. "It was…nice. I missed that, you know? I missed talking with you and just being…Jim. I hadn't had that since you…left…and it was nice. At least until she kissed me good-bye on the cheek and made me promise to bring Abby to the farewell party. Then I started feeling uncomfortable again, because I remembered you and what we had and…"

"I'm glad," Marissa interrupted him. "I'm glad she was able to give you some…peace; to be yourself for a bit."

Jim looked down at her wryly, tucking some stray hairs behind her ears. "Yeah, it was nice, but it wasn't the same. And I did not sleep with her. I didn't sleep with anyone."

"Okay," Marissa nodded, accepting his word. "I'm…glad…nothing happened," she told him honestly, tucking her head under his chin again. "I would have understood…if something had happened with her – or anyone else, but I…I'm glad." She sniffed. "I guess I'm selfish. No, I _am_ selfish," she chuckled wetly. "I know everyone thought I was dead and I wouldn't want you to…to mourn me forever. If something ever happens to me I want you to be able to move on, to find…happiness…someone…"

"Stop," Jim told her, his voice sounding pained as he squeezed her against him. "Just…stop, okay? I understand what you're saying and I feel the same way, all right? If something happens to me, I want you to be happy. My mom could never let go and that affected me and Sam and I don't want that to happen to our kids, but god, Mariss, it was hard. So, so hard."

"I can't even begin to imagine," Marissa whispered against his chest.

"I hope we never have to," Jim told her.

They stood there for a couple minutes, taking comfort in being near each other after so long apart. Marissa was relieved that Carol wasn't an issue. She hadn't meant to upset Jim or accuse him of anything, but the possibility of a child was too much to ignore.

"I don't suppose there is anything else Janice or Veronique told you? Or Selek, for that matter," Jim asked.

"Nothing else from Selek, really," Marissa told him honestly. "Veronique told me about Tenial." Jim snorted and then rested his lips against her head.

"Like anything was going to come of that," he said scornfully.

"Yeah, I didn't think so," Marissa smiled softly. "But… a month, Jim?" she looked up at him sadly.

Jim sighed, knowing exactly what she was referring to. "I told you…it was hard. I only gave in after Janine harangued me. I just didn't want to let go."

"Was it…nice?" Marissa asked.

Jim laughed darkly. "Yeah, it was nice. You would have liked it. You were a cute kid," he told her.

"What?" she looked up at Jim curiously. "Did my dad send pictures?"

Shaking his head, Marissa watched as a shadow passed over his eyes, but then it was gone. "No, Janine. You were so little when you started Harvard; with curly, curly hair and braces."

"Oh god," Marissa rolled her eyes good naturedly, shaking her head against Jim's chest as she felt her face turn bright red. "Even at my funeral she manages to embarrass me."

"What are friends for?" Jim asked with a small smile. "I…I liked seeing them; seeing you. I mean, it was horrible why it was happening, but…it was nice to see you. I hadn't seen that part of you before."

Marissa didn't know what to say, tightening her arms around his waist. "I'm sorry," she eventually whispered.

"Nothing to be sorry for," Jim told her gruffly. "And Abby made it easier. She had no idea what was going on, but she liked all the pictures. When people started speaking, she got a bit bored and denuded the flower arrangement Sulu had made." Marissa could hear the smile in his voice as he described their daughter's action. "She handed out baby roses to everyone she knew. Chekov had several."

"Who…" Marissa began, wondering who had spoken at her memorial, but then shook her head. "Never mind. I don't want to know. I hope it helped you."

Jim shrugged uncomfortably. "Maybe. It was more for everyone else, but it was…it was nice…fine. I guess it had to be done." He was silent for a moment and then looked down at her. "Anything else?"

Marissa scrunched up her nose as she thought about it. She already felt like an emotional wreck after discussing Carol and David and her own funeral, but if he wasn't going to avoid her questions now was her chance.

"Well, since you asked…" she looked up at him coyly. "Can we move over to the couch?"

Jim raised his eyebrows at her. "Sure. Do we have that much to discuss?"

"I don't know," Marissa told him, leading him to the couch. Once he sat down, she snuggled up against him, his arm around her shoulders.

"Let's hear it," Jim said, waiting patiently for her question.

Looking down at her hands and then over at Jim, Marissa gave him a hesitant smile. "What's going on at Galdonterre?" she asked. "Because if you expect me to believe that it's just shore leave, then you have another think coming. Selek said that the away team isn't under investigation, but…"

"What?" Jim looked at her in surprise. "No. No way. You guys…this isn't about you. I promise. Well, not totally about you," he hedged when she looked at him incredulously. "Let's just say that you're going to be important witnesses and leave it at that, okay?"

"Jim," Marissa frowned. He wasn't giving her enough information.

"Look, Mariss," he interrupted her before she could start asking more questions. "A lot of stuff happened while you were gone and we found out a lot of stuff when we were trying to figure out what happened to you guys, all right? And there was already an investigation going on, but we didn't know it and…"

"Is Starfleet going after UNISTAR?" Marissa asked excitedly.

"Not exactly," Jim hesitated.

"Then why…"

"Marissa, I can't tell you," Jim interrupted again. "At least not yet. When we get to Galdonterre I'll call a meeting with the whole away team and I'll give you some details, but I don't want to color any testimony that you might be asked to give."

"What do we know?" Marissa asked in confusion. "We were moving through caves for four months. We didn't have a clue what was…"

Shaking his head, Jim leaned forward and kissed her briefly. "Let it go, Mariss. I'll tell you what I can, when I can. Until then just let it go. You're not in trouble. I'm not in trouble. The _Enterprise_ is not in trouble. Let it go."

Marissa frowned slightly, but nodded. "That's the real reason we can't contact anyone, isn't it?"

Jim gave her his innocent look. "The array was damaged…" he trailed off seeing the skeptical look she was giving him. "You don't believe that at all, do you?" he asked a one-sided grin quirking his mouth.

"Not even for a second," Marissa told him, with a small grin.

Jim slumped slightly, defeated by her persistence. "Yeah, that's the reason. Pike doesn't want to risk any news about the away team reaching…certain ears."

"Okay," Marissa nodded once. "I can deal with that, but I still want to contact my family as soon as we get to Galdonterre."

"It might not be as soon as we get there," Jim told her, "it depends on what Pike and the…others want, but as soon as they give the okay I will have lines arranged for all of you, okay?"

"Good enough," Marissa smiled. Leaning up towards him, she pressed her lips against his.

"Come on," he said, pulling away slightly. "It's nap time."

"Wait, I have another question," Marissa told him.

Jim grimaced. "Can't it wait for tonight? I'll tell you whatever you want," he assured her, "but I know you're tired and Abby is probably only going to sleep for another hour. You need to rest now, so we can take her swimming when she wakes up."

Though it was unintentional, Jim's comment reminded Marissa of Abby's tantrum and her inadvertent words that had started it. "Of course," she replied, frowning.

"Hey, I didn't mean it like that," Jim hugged her. "It's just…since the issue was swimming and when we were going to go…"

"I understand Jim," Marissa assured him. "You're right. I need to rest and then we can go swimming with Abby and hopefully put all this behind us."

Jim smiled and Marissa didn't even protest as he led her to their bedroom. When they reached their room they both stood and watched Abby, curled up in the middle of the bed, Selhat in her arms, her face still flushed, but peaceful in sleep.

"Go," Jim prodded Marissa towards the bathroom. "Get ready, wash your face."

Marissa hesitated. "You'll stay?" she asked, feeling bad for asking, he probably had a ton of things he could be doing, but needing him nearby.

He nodded. "I have some PADDs I can look over while you both sleep. I'll be right here."

True to his words, when Marissa exited the bathroom, Jim was stretched out on the bed, his reading glasses perched on his nose, a PADD in hand. He silently watched her settle on the other side of Abby. She would have liked to snuggle against him, to feel the comforting warmth and strength of him against her, but it was more important for Abby to wake up between her parents; to know that she wasn't alone and that they were both here for her, whether she realized it or not.

Pulling the blanket up over her shoulder, Jim smiled softly at Marissa. Reaching over Abby's head, he rested his hand on Marissa's pillow. Without a second thought, Marissa clasped it in her hand, interlacing their fingers awkwardly, but at least they were touching.

"Rest," he told her. "I'm right here."

Closing her eyes, she nodded. "I love you," she whispered.

Jim squeezed her fingers in response. "I love you, too," he responded.

_Please review_


	10. Chapter 10

**Completion**

**Chapter 10**

Marissa laughed as Jim tossed Abby across the small pool to Chekov, Abby screaming and laughing, but managing to close her mouth before she went under. Once Chekov lifted her up she demanded to, "do it ag'n, Pasha!"

"She really has no fear when it comes to water," McCoy said as he sat down in a chair beside her.

"I've noticed," Marissa smiled over at him in welcome. She'd only lasted fifteen minutes in the water. It just wasn't warm enough and she didn't have the insulation she used to. If she had been swimming laps it wouldn't have been a problem, but just standing around wasn't working. Abby had been upset when Jim had suggested that Marissa get out and warm up, but then Chekov had arrived and her good mood had returned. "Jim blames Chris Pike."

McCoy snorted, crossing his arms and legs as he relaxed back into the chair. "He's one culprit," he agreed. "But her two biggest enablers are there in the pool with her now."

"Mama wa'ch!" Abby called.

"I'm watching, baby girl," Marissa responded. "Be careful!" She couldn't help adding, tensing slightly as she watched the little girl stand on Jim's shoulders and then launch herself at Chekov feet first in a passable imitation of a cannonball. "Oh my," she heaved a sigh as Abby's little head broke above the water and she paddled to Chekov with a grin on her face.

"Didja see?" she asked as soon as she was picked up.

"I did," Marissa smiled. "And you're as crazy as your dada," she declared, smiling even more when she heard Jim chuckle.

"Ag'n!" Abby declared, already climbing up Chekov's torso.

"Once more," Jim told her, "and then we'll do something else."

Marissa and McCoy sat companionably while they watched the 'children' play in the pool. She spent most of her time watching Abby and the pure enjoyment on her face as she swam like a little fish between her father and Chekov, yet no one would blame her if Jim's bare, wet torso and his wide smile caught her attention more often than not. Back on the _Enterprise_ barely two days, she was still getting her fill of looking at Jim. Between Abby and visitors and just being so tired, they'd really not had a lot of time together.

They hadn't gotten into their old daily routine of getting ready for the day, or getting ready for bed together, where bare skin was the norm. She wasn't really surprised to find that she was Jim starved. The touches and caresses were nice, and actually making love was a good start, but seeing him bare and glistening, Marissa found that she wanted to take him back to their quarters and lock them into their bedroom for the next week at least.

Not that that was going to happen with Abby underfoot, but the dream was nice. They'd have to make do with the time they had when Abby was sleeping. No one ever said having a sex life while parenting would be easy.

"I'd offer to watch Abby for the night, but I don't think that would go over too well with her," McCoy finally said, a knowing look on his face as he looked over at her.

"What?" Marissa asked nonplussed, the beginnings of a blush stealing over her face. She didn't think her ogling of Jim was that obvious.

McCoy looked back at the pool. Abby was now sitting on Jim's shoulders and trying to throw a ball at Chekov. While she was coordinated enough while swimming, she hadn't quite gotten the hand-to-eye coordination down to throw a ball accurately. Half the time she dropped it behind her or threw it straight up in the air.

"You're watching him like you want to eat him for dinner," McCoy finally said.

Marissa couldn't help grinning as she watched Jim stretch out for the ball, the muscles in his chest rippling nicely. Not an overly muscular man, he was still nicely proportioned with not much fat on him at all.

"And for breakfast and lunch," she admitted honestly.

McCoy just shook his head in mock exasperation. "You two," he murmured.

"Can you blame us?"

"Not at all," McCoy admitted. "Like I said, I'd offer to watch Abby, but I don't think she'd like the idea."

"Probably not," Marissa agreed with a frown. Waking up from her nap, Abby had still been out of sorts. She'd refused to let Marissa out of her sight and had followed her into the bathroom and to the kitchen and then insisted that Marissa come to her room while Jim helped her change into her swimsuit.

Once in the pool she'd relaxed, more focused on playing than where her mother was, but neither Jim nor Marissa missed how she'd glance over at Marissa every couple minutes just to make sure her mother was still there watching at the side of the pool.

"Heard about earlier, did you?" Marissa asked when McCoy didn't say anything more.

"Yeah," he nodded, still watching the pool. "I sent a message to Jim while you were sleeping and we had a little chat over the comm. about what happened. He wanted to know how what happened might affect Abby – aside from the tantrum part."

"Well?" Marissa asked.

McCoy shrugged. "It's hard to say. She's a smart kid for her age, but she's not even two. I told Jim she might be clingy and she'll probably not want you to leave her sight. She might be a bit more demanding than usual, if that's possible."

"Well, you're right about the clinging," Marissa told him. "She followed me into the bathroom and wouldn't leave my side. I was surprised that she let me leave the pool."

"She can see you," McCoy pointed out. "I think that is enough."

"I just feel so horrible," Marissa finally said after a few minutes of silence between them. "I didn't mean to upset her and once it started…" she sniffed and wiped at her eye with a towel. She'd already cried enough today, but every time she thought of Abby's tears she couldn't help welling up again.

McCoy sighed and then glanced over at her. "That's understandable," he told her. "A tantrum like that…" he shook his head. "I think we've all triggered one at one time or another since you've been gone. Jim and Chekov are the only ones that can calm her down."

"But I'm her mother," Marissa said sadly.

"I know darlin'," McCoy reached over and patted her hand sympathetically. "No one said this is going to be easy, but now that you're back the healing can begin. It's just going to take some time, and now that you know what might trigger a tantrum, you can avoid it."

"Like the plague," Marissa agreed.

"Yeah, well, she's a Kirk," McCoy commented dryly. "It might not matter if you avoid any triggers you might know about. When she wants something, I'm sure she'll find away to try to get it, be it through a tantrum or guile."

"She already has Jim's innocent look down pat," Marissa chuckled, wiping away another stray tear and trying to smile. "And she can be extremely persistent."

"That she can," McCoy agreed. "She's got Jim and Pasha there, wrapped around her little finger, though I think Chekov's the only one who can't really say no to her. Jim's set his limits and he sticks to them, for the most part. She doesn't always like it, but I think it's good for her – and Jim sometimes. Everyone on this tin can is always saying 'yes, captain,' 'of course, captain,' 'whatever you say, captain,'" he quipped in mock disgust. "A little insubordination is good for him. Even if it only comes in toddler form."

"And CMO form?" Marissa asked with a knowing smile. "I don't think I've ever heard you say 'whatever you say, captain,' to Jim."

"Course not," McCoy scoffed. "Someone's got to keep him in check and I don't think Spock's fully up to the job just yet. Still," he said, shaking his head, his eyes on Abby and Jim, "it would have been a sad day for more than just Jim if Abby had left the _Enterprise_."

Marissa frowned and looked over at McCoy in consternation. "Left the _Enterprise_?" she asked. "Why would Abby…" her eyes widened in surprise. "Did Jim honestly think of giving up the _Enterprise_ to take care of Abby?"

The thought had never honestly occurred to her. In all the months she was on M'Qtobau she had always imagined Jim and Abby living on the _Enterprise_ with their friends helping out. She'd never thought that Jim would give up his commission for their daughter. In her mind it had seemed like the path his mother had taken, leaving Starfleet to raise her sons, only to run back to the stars after a few years, leaving Sam and Jim behind.

"No," McCoy shook his head. "The idea might have crossed his mind, but I don't think Jim ever seriously considered leaving the _Enterprise_."

"Then what?" she was still confused. "Was he going to send Abby away?"

That was even more farfetched than Jim giving up the _Enterprise_. Jim would never let his child grow up without him, if he could at all help it. The scars of his childhood ran deep; so deep that it had been years since he had last spoken to his mother. The little bit Marissa knew about the woman came from the fallout of the pseudo-biography book that had been released while she was pregnant with Abby. Jim had told her some details, enough to roughly explain the situation, but not nearly enough to satisfy. But what she had learned was enough; Jim would never let someone else raise his child.

Sitting forward, McCoy glanced over at her uncomfortably. "He hasn't told you?"

"Obviously not," Marissa frowned in exasperation. She was really getting tired of everyone knowing things she didn't. On one hand, it was to be expected, but on the other hand there were obviously things that Jim needed to tell her. Sure, she'd only been back for a couple days, but she was sick of hearing tidbits from their friends. She wanted to hear it from Jim.

As frustrated as she was with him at times, he had talked with her earlier after Abby's tantrum. He'd taken the time to answer some of her questions. They just hadn't had time to themselves yet; not with Abby around and people visiting. Last night had been the first time they'd really been alone, and they'd had other priorities other than talking, something Marissa wasn't about to give up after four months apart. Still, the idea of locking herself away with Jim for a week was sounding good for another reason; they could actually talk.

"Why would Jim send Abby off the _Enterprise_?" she asked, bringing her focus back to the current topic. She'd worry about finding time to talk to Jim later – when Abby was sleeping.

"He didn't want to," McCoy started hesitantly, "and I'm sure he wouldn't have, but…" he trailed off, his gaze back on the pool and its occupants. "You should ask Jim."

"Oh no," Marissa declared crossly. "I am tired of people telling me to ask Jim, especially when Jim isn't saying much at all, damn it. Veronique and Rand said the same thing when I wanted to know why I don't have any clothes and why my picture of Na'fern and my quilt are missing. They said to ask Jim."

"Have you actually asked him?" McCoy queried; his eyebrow high on his forehead. "You know how he is."

Marissa shrugged. "Once or twice," she admitted. "When I first noticed things missing he was on the bridge and when we are together there's Abby to worry about and when we did have time alone it's just never come up; we had other things on our minds."

"I bet you did," McCoy mumbled under his breath, holding back a knowing grin.

Marissa just gave him a condescending look. "You might think we're all about sex since I've gotten back, but we spent the first night with Abby sleeping between us. Not very conducive to anything romantic, you know? This afternoon after Abby's tantrum was the longest amount of time we had together alone and I was upset about what had just happened. He did answer some of my questions afterwards." McCoy gave her a look, silently asking which ones, but Marissa shook her head. "They didn't have anything to do with my clothes and stuff. Right now, I want to know why you would say that Jim would send Abby off the _Enterprise_."

"He wouldn't," McCoy said adamantly. "He would never have let her go."

"But why did it even come up?" Marissa countered, trying to understand. "Who the hell would she go to?"

Turning in his chair, McCoy looked directly at Marissa, his eyes sympathetic. "Who do you think?"

Shaking her head, Marissa was at a loss, but then, "My parents?" she asked hesitantly. "He was going to send her to my dad and Nancy?" she asked incredulously as she saw the confirmation in McCoy's expression. "Why? Did he think he couldn't…? My dad doesn't even like…"

"Marissa," McCoy interrupted her. "I said he didn't want to. He fought it."

"Fought?" Marissa mouthed silently. "I don't understand. Was he…did someone order him to give up Abby? The Admiralty or…or…" she gave up, unable to understand why Starfleet would order such a thing, so shortly after her supposed death, when there were families serving on ships across the galaxy.

"Not the Admiralty," McCoy said.

"Not the…" Marissa stared at him. "Then who?"

McCoy sighed heavily, looked over at Jim in the pool and than back at Marissa. "Damn it. I'm sorry I opened this can of worms. I thought he would have told you by now…"

"It's only been a couple days," Marissa defended Jim automatically. "But you have to tell me now, Len. You have to. I was planning on talking with Jim tonight about my clothes and quilt and stuff, but…you have to tell me who tried to take away Abby from Jim." She wanted to hear McCoy say it, because she had a sinking feeling who it was and she didn't want to believe it; it made her feel sick. He wouldn't do that…he couldn't…

"Your father," McCoy confirmed suspicion.

"He asked Jim to give up Abby," Marissa said slowly, praying that McCoy would say yes, but knowing the odds were slim.

McCoy looked at her sadly and shook his head slowly. "No, he didn't ask for anything. He had his lawyer tell Jim to drop Abby off at some starbase to be sent to Earth and when Jim refused he sued for custody."

"He what?" Marissa yelped incredulously, staring at McCoy in horror.

McCoy didn't have time to reply as Abby came running across the deck towards her mother.

"Mama! We's dun," she announced.

"Abby don't get mama all wet," Jim called out from the pool side, but it didn't stop the little girl from trying to climb into Marissa's lap.

Abby's cold skin pulled Marissa from her stunned stupor and she stiffly smiled down at her. "I see you're done. Let's get you dried and then we can head back and get you cleaned up and dressed."

"I's hungwy," Abby announced as Marissa bundled her up and used a corner of the towel to rub Abby's wet hair.

"Me too," Marissa agreed. "We'll go get dressed and then we can get some food."

Jim came padding up, the water dripping down his torso and legs, and grabbed his towel. Slinging it over his shoulders, he rubbed his hair until it was sticking up but mostly dry. "Shall we eat in our quarters tonight?" he asked, glancing at Marissa.

For a moment she could only stare at him, her face blank as she tried to comprehend what she'd just learned. There was a tight ball of fury in her stomach, she was surprised to realize and part of that anger was directed at Jim. When exactly was he going to tell her?

"I think I'd rather eat in the mess," Marissa told him, her voice just off enough to raise the suspicions of Jim, McCoy, and Chekov, who had just walked up. She really needed the distraction of a busy cafeteria if she wasn't going to start yelling about Jim keeping secrets and her father being an ass. She didn't want to upset Abby, after all.

"You okay, Mariss?" Jim asked with concern.

"I'm fine," she immediately replied, only to hear McCoy huff under his breath.

Jim looked over at his friend in question. "Bones?"

McCoy didn't even hesitate. "We were just chatting and she brought up…"

"Abby," Marissa interrupted loudly, a small frown aimed over at McCoy as she stood up. "Can you sit here and let Pasha dry you off?" she asked the little girl. "I need to talk to dada really quick."

"No weave!" Abby immediately said, grabbing Marissa's legs, tears already in her eyes.

Marissa squatted down. "I'm not leaving, Abby girl. Dada and I are just going to go stand by the pool." She glanced up at Chekov who was looking at her with an expression almost as worried as Jim's. "Maybe you can help Pasha dry his hair?" she added, prodding Chekov.

"Zat would be wonderful," Chekov chimed in with a grin. "I cannot get it all. You must help me, kotik." He sat down in the Marissa's chair and draped the towel over his head.

"I's he'p you, Pasha," Abby declared, climbing into his lap like Marissa had hoped.

Standing up again, Marissa looked over at Jim and McCoy, not missing the apologetic grimace McCoy shot his friend. With a nod, she walked over to the other side of the pool, still within Abby's view, but far enough away that they wouldn't be overheard.

"What's up?" Jim asked when she turned and faced him. He'd draped the towel over his shoulders and was mostly dry except for his swim trunks.

Marissa took a moment to gather herself. She realized that the anger she was feeling, that she had to smother when near Abby, wasn't really directed at Jim, but rather her father, but it still upset her to know that something so major had happened and Jim hadn't bothered to tell her.

Taking a deep breath, she looked up at him and then over his shoulder at where Abby was clumsily toweling off Chekov's head. "When exactly were you going to tell me that my father had the nerve to try to take Abby away from you?" she asked in a low, but even tone, her arms crossed over her chest.

"Oh," Jim said, deflating in front of her with a sigh. "Bones mentioned it, huh?"

Marissa gave him a look that effectively said, 'well, duh,' and then, "He mentioned that it would have been a sad day if Abby left the _Enterprise_," she explained. "I thought he meant that you had thought about giving up your commission." She watched him expectantly.

"Well, it did cross my mind," Jim said, running a hand through his hair as he did whenever he felt uncomfortable. "But never seriously - I didn't want to make the same mistakes my mom did."

"Good," Marissa nodded. "And my father?" Shifting her weight to the other hip, she tapped her foot impatiently.

"It's not like I wasn't going to tell you," Jim said defensively.

"Well, that's good to know," Marissa said sarcastically, her temper still just barely under the surface. "I'd hate to think that you'd actually let me comm. him from Galdonterre and make me look like a fool when I…"

"I was going to tell you," Jim interrupted her, his voice a harsh whisper as he glanced over his shoulder at Abby. Reaching out, he took her shoulders and squatted slightly so he could look her in the eyes. "I was going to tell you, I just…it never seemed like the right time, you know? You've barely been back on the ship. How was I supposed to tell you something like that?"

"But…" Marissa started to protest before Jim pulled her into his arms.

"No buts, Marissa," he told her. "Trust me on this. I would have told you – especially before you contacted him. But I also didn't want to ruin everything by dumping that on you just after you got back, all right? That would have been a pretty big issue for you to deal with on your first day."

Marissa nodded, her face pressed into the towel on his shoulder. She felt suspiciously close to tears. "But why would he do that?"

Jim sighed. "I don't know. I only talked to his lawyer once, when he told me to drop Abby off at Starbase 23."

"Bastard," Marissa whispered.

"Hey," Jim gave her a squeeze. "He's your father. I'm sure he…he was doing what he thought was best." He tried to sound sincere, but Marissa could tell he was choking on his words.

"Something I never would have agreed to," Marissa said hotly. "And he knows that; should have known that."

"It's over," Jim told her softly. "I won, so really, it's a moot point."

Marissa pulled back slightly and glared at him. "Except for the fact that his actions hurt you and put more stress on you and…"

Leaning forward, Jim gave her a quick kiss. "I'm fine. It wasn't fun at the time. Not at all," he huffed wryly. "But I made it through. And you're here now."

Shaking her head slightly, Marissa pressed her forehead against Jim's shoulder. "Just because everything worked out in the end, doesn't make it right, Jim."

"I know that," he replied.

"He hurt you. He attacked you. And he put his own agenda ahead of Abby's happiness and well being."

"In his mind he was…"

"Don't you defend him," Marissa snapped, then a look of horror crossed her face. "Oh god, please tell me Nana and Nancy weren't in on this too."

Jim shrugged. "I don't know," he told her honestly. "I don't think so, but I don't know for sure. All communication went through our lawyers. I only talked to your family briefly after you…after the bombing, and he wasn't very happy with me at the time."

"I can imagine," Marissa commented, allowing herself to sink into his arms. She'd always known her father was a controlling ass, but it still angered her that he would try something so horrendous as to take a away child from its only surviving parent.

A thought occurred to her and she brought her head up to look at Jim. "Does this have anything to do with why I don't have any clothes and my quilt is missing?"

Nodding, Jim did his best to keep his expression neutral, but she could see the pain and anger flash in his eyes. "Yeah," he told her. "He had a list of all your things…stuff you had brought to the _Enterprise_ and things you'd bought along the way. He wanted it all. My lawyer suggested giving it to him in order to show the judge that I was willing to compromise. I was pissed, but I wanted Abby more, so I did it."

"I'm sorry," Marissa whispered, rubbing a hand down his arm and squeezing his fingers.

"Nothing for you to be sorry about," Jim told her.

"Mama! Dada!" Abby called, interrupting their conversation.

They glanced over at McCoy and Chekov who had been doing their best to entertain Abby, while giving them a modicum of privacy, but she had reached her limit.

"Ready to eat?" Jim called over to her.

"Yeah!" Abby yelled back, wiggling away from Chekov and then making her way around the pool.

"Slow down, Abby," Jim warned her. "No running by the pool." She listened, slowing her pace a little.

"Jim," Marissa said quickly as Abby approached them. "Tonight we are going to talk about what went on while I was gone. I know you don't want to upset me or…whatever, but I need to know what you went through. I want to…I need to understand. Please?"

Leaning down, Jim scooped up Abby into his arms and then turned to her with a sigh. "All right, but you know most of it already."

"I want to hear it from you," Marissa told him softly, before smiling over at Abby. "Shall we go get you both dressed so that we can go eat?"

Abby nodded.

Looking over at McCoy, who was climbing into the pool, and Chekov who was still seated in the lounge chair, Jim waved his thanks as they made their way out of the room.

"Bye-bye Pasha!" Abby called over Jim's shoulders as they approached the doors. "See you at dinwer!"

They didn't hear Chekov's response, but Jim chuckled as he looked down at Abby. "Pasha has to go to work, Abby. I don't think we will see him at dinner. It might just be you and me and mama."

Abby took a moment to think about this and then smiled at Jim. "Okay!"

"I'm glad you approve, munchkin," Jim told her. Reaching out, he wrapped an arm around Marissa and pulled her close. "Let's go get ready for dinner."

_Please review_

_Sorry for the delay in posting. This chapter wasn't quite ready and I've caught a cold, so I've spent most of the day staring at the ceiling…or the wall, or napping._

_Just as a warning, I only have one chapter left in reserve, so unless a miracle happens, next week will be my last post for a while until I get things caught up and in order. I know where I'm going, I just haven't had the time. I will be posting the Winona chapter of _First and Impressing and Quality Time_ in the next week or two, so keep a look out for that._

_As always, many thanks to _Royalpinkdogs_ for her beta work, shoulder to bitch on, and general all around awesomeness. I don't think I would be writing this story without her support and encouragement._


	11. Chapter 11

**Completion**

**Chapter 11**

Jim pulled Marissa closer, grinning as she made a snuffling noise and wiggled her bottom against him. It had been a long and emotional day and he was glad it was over. Abby's tantrum was bad enough; they'd been happening with less frequency, but they always took a toll on everyone involved; seeing Marissa so guilt laden in response was even harder. He knew Abby would eventually bounce back after such an event, but Marissa was dealing with something that she felt she had caused and had been unable to make better. As a mom, that had to be hard to deal with.

Being blindsided by the whole Carol Marcus issue hadn't been pleasant. He was going to have to talk to Selek and tell the old Vulcan to keep his mouth shut about what may or may not happen in this timeline. He appreciated that Marissa had been concerned on his behalf if there had been a child involved, but he did not want to discuss Carol Marcus with her. The woman had made him uncomfortable enough and he was relieved that she was gone. In the end nothing had happened, end of story.

McCoy telling her about her father's custody suit was bad timing. He wasn't surprised with how angry she had been, going so far as to confront him about it right away rather than waiting until Abby was in bed. He was going to tell her about it all eventually, but there just never seemed to be a good time. He knew how rocky Marissa's relationship with her father truly was. Since Stratnon she'd gone through at least two bouts of refusing to talk to him that Jim knew of. He didn't want to ruin her homecoming with something that was really going to upset her.

Matthew didn't like Jim, he didn't like Marissa's choices, and he wasn't shy about telling Marissa. The last data packet she had received from her family, shortly after her birthday, had included a listing of open teaching positions at two local Colorado universities and a recounting of a meeting Matthew had had with an 'old friend' of Marissa's who happened to be recently divorced and looking into the dating scene. The fact that Matthew had included a picture had seemed funny to Jim, but it only served to piss Marissa off.

The rest of their evening had gone well enough. Marissa was obviously out of sorts as she stewed over her father's actions, but she had perked up when some of the away team members had joined them for dinner in the mess. Jim had mostly sat back and listened as Marissa, Roth, Resnick, Scobee with his new fiancée Jamison, and Onizuka had chatted about what it was like coming back from the dead.

Always good at reading people, two things had eventually turned up on Jim's sensors. The first was how Marissa interacted with Roth. There wasn't anything he could definitively pinpoint, but she seemed hesitant when dealing with him and while she enthusiastically engaged the other people at the table, she didn't interact much with Roth, though Jim caught her glancing over at the lieutenant periodically.

And since he was so closely watching her, he soon noticed how Roth was acting towards Marissa. Not that the man had done anything. He'd remained mostly silent through the whole meal, only talking when asked a direct question, but his eyes had strayed towards Marissa far more than Jim was comfortable with. And when he had given Marissa a brief pat on the shoulder as everyone left the mess, Jim had been surprised to see her actually blush. She hadn't reacted at all to Scobee or Onizuka giving her hugs, but she had looked stiff when Roth had touched her – and she'd immediately picked up Abby, as if shielding herself.

Or maybe he was making this all up, Jim admitted, as he leaned forward and breathed in Marissa's sent; warm and musky with just a hint of her usual vanilla overlaid with the scent of sex.

She'd been surprisingly aggressive and territorial when they had made love earlier; actually marking him with her teeth as she rode him to their mutual pleasure. He had enjoyed her enthusiasm, but it wasn't her usual way of making love. And it happening on the heels of her odd interaction with another man made Jim curious.

Still, Jim was unsure if he was reading the situation correctly. Roth wasn't known for his verbosity, unless he'd been drinking, so his silence at the table might have been normal. While Jim trusted the man and his abilities, he hadn't exactly sought him out as a friend. There was just too much water under that particular bridge.

And he had to admit it was rare seeing Marissa interact with any males outside of their small group of friends – his command team and the people she worked with in the library. As a couple they were pretty insular, so seeing her interact with men that Jim wasn't as familiar with was probably enough to make him feel territorial and to possibly see things that weren't really there.

He had briefly thought of making a comment about Roth's silence or teasing her about the man's staring, but almost as soon as they returned to their quarters Abby had had an accident and wet her pants. A couple months ago it wouldn't have been that big a deal, but this time Abby had thrown a mini-fit and cried inconsolably. They'd tried to reassure her that it was just an accident and she was still a big girl, but she didn't want to listen to them. It wasn't until Marissa sat on the couch and began reading one of her favorite picture books out loud that Abby had stopped pouting and calmed down. After that it was maybe fifteen minutes before she dozed off.

Talking with Marissa had been as uncomfortable as he'd expected, but also a relief. He'd explained a bit more about her father's custody suit, focusing on the outpouring of support from the crew. Honestly, after the initial shock, the waiting had been the worst part; would it go to trial? Would their lives be picked apart for public consumption? Because there was no way he was going to give Abby to anyone.

She'd already known about the insubordination charge and Tenial. Carol had already been covered. The only thing left, in Jim's mind, was the internal investigation. She'd spotted Paul Greene in the mess and asked about him, Jim had put her off, but it had been the perfect segue to tell her about the ongoing audit. Jim was pretty sure that they'd be dropping Greene and his minion off at Galdonterre, but he didn't want to say too much. She still had to be deposed and if he told her he thought it was all part of Dekker's plot to discredit him and get him off the _Enterprise_ he might end up influencing her testimony.

He made a conscious effort to push away all thoughts of Galdonterre. He was both excited and nervous about going there. Seeing Dekker and Franks get what they deserved was going to be good, he had to believe that the Admiralty wouldn't let them slip through their grasp, not after all the evidence that they and Pike had uncovered. But now that Marissa was home, he just wanted everything to be done so that they could continue their life together.

Snuggling up against her, Jim let go of all the thoughts spinning through his mind, focusing on Marissa's even breathing and the warmth of her skin against his. As long as he had her, he could let all his other worries – real and imagined – bide.

Something awoke Jim in the wee hours of the ship's morning. He lay listening to Marissa's soft breathing, hearing Abby shifting in the next room, the sounds of the ship's engines barely discernable just on the edge of his hearing. Marissa had shifted into a fetal position under the covers. Jim knew it was a habit after sleeping for so long in a cold cave, but her moving away from him would eventually lead to uncomfortable dreams that had apparently made him wake him once again. When he was awake enough to realize that she was actually back and sleeping next to him in bed, he burrowed under the covers with her and wrapped himself around her.

As he looked down at her he noticed the frown between her eyebrows as her mouth twitched and her eyes flickered restlessly under her lids. She was dreaming.

They'd both had their share of bad dreams, but nothing that couldn't be soothed away with a touch or some whispered words. Glancing over at the chrono, Jim realized that they only had another twenty minutes at most before Abby woke up, maybe they might have enough time for a quickie. Laying his head down, he scooted closer, wrapping his arm around her waist and kissing her forehead.

"Hey, Mariss," he whispered, rubbing her back as he pulled his head back slightly. You never could tell when she would startle awake and he didn't want a fat lip or a bloody nose this morning.

Her frown deepened and she tried to shrug off his hand, curling even further into herself and away from him.

"Marissa," he tried again.

Shuddering, she jerked away from his hand. "Jason," she muttered, frowning even more. "Don't. Please…no," she mumbled in an odd, toneless dream-voice.

Jim froze, still staring down at Marissa, his hand hovering over her shoulder. What the hell? He thought to himself. Jason, don't?

Understanding dawned quickly and a sick feeling filled his stomach. 'Jason, don't,' echoed through his mind. Slowly he got out of bed, his eyes never leaving Marissa's face. His heart pumping with a sudden rush of adrenaline, he watched as she relaxed back to sleep now that he was no longer touching her.

Holy. Fuck.

He hadn't been wrong about their strange interaction last night. Something had happened on M'Qtobau.

Grabbing his clothes from yesterday that were still strewn on the floor, Jim left the bedroom and went into their office. He could hear Abby stirring, but she wasn't making noises like she needed attention right away. She'd get Marissa when she wanted something. Jim had basically given up keeping her in her crib if she didn't want to be there months ago.

"Computer," he barked as the door to the office slid closed behind him. "Location of Lieutenant Roth."

"Lieutenant Roth is currently located in the officer's gym on deck five," the computer told him dispassionately.

Jim grunted in response. Pulling on his black undershirt, he left his command gold shirt on his desk. Hurriedly he pulled on his boots and then stomped into the living area and towards the main door.

"Jim?" he heard Marissa call out sleepily. He ignored her. He and Lieutenant _Jason_ Roth were going to have a few words right now.

Luckily he didn't run into too many crewmembers as he strode through the ship. Those he did pass took one look at his face, muttered a polite 'Captain,' and got the hell out of his way.

The gym was fairly busy, most of the occupants finishing their workouts before going on duty for alpha shift. It took a moment, but Jim finally located Roth over on the far side of the gym working with a punching bag.

"Perfect," Jim smiled, his eyes cold as he made his way over, ignoring McCoy and Sulu's greetings. Veering to the wall, he grabbed a pair of boxing gloves. "Lieutenant," he caught Roth's attention. "With me." And then he turned and walked over to the boxing ring.

"Uh, yes sir," Roth followed him, a confused expression on his face.

"I'm in the mood for some sparring this morning," Jim told him, his grin causing Roth to pause as he made his way under the ropes. "Was hoping you could help me out."

Roth hesitated, sensing something wasn't quite right. "You're not exactly dressed…"

Jim looked down at himself. "Fine," he replied. Undoing the glove he'd managed to put on, Jim kicked off his boots, he hadn't bothered with socks, and stripped off his shirt, throwing them all out of the ring.

"There," he said in a put upon tone, grabbing his gloves again and putting them on, using his teeth to fasten the closures.

When he looked up, Roth was staring at him, specifically at Jim's chest, his expression was unreadable, but his face slowly flushing.

Instinctively, Jim looked down, rubbing a glove over the area. He felt the pull of the love bite Marissa had put on his shoulder, where it met his neck, but not high enough to show over his collar; and he could see the other one on his chest, right over his heart. There was no mistaking what they were.

Jim smirked until Roth looked back up at him. He said nothing, just raised one eyebrow. Roth flushed further.

"Let's spar, shall we?"

"Whatever you want, Captain," Roth said through clenched teeth.

They circled each other for a few moments, Jim bouncing lightly on his bare feet, Roth moving more warily. Just when Roth looked like he was going to say something, Jim launched a series of jabs and punches causing the other man to block and move out of range. One lucky swing caught Roth on the shoulder and he grunted and shook his arm as a tingling sensation ran down it. Whether on purpose or not, Jim had hit a nerve.

"Just like old times, huh?" Jim grinned, dodging forward and then back, waiting for Roth to take a swing. "'Cept the odds are even this time. None of your little friends to finish the fight for you when you fall ass over teakettle, right, Cupcake?" Jim smirked.

Roth frowned, and Jim tensed, ready for an attack, but nothing happened and they continued to circle.

"What's going on, Captain?" Roth finally asked after dodging a few more punches. Jim was just playing with him and he obviously knew it.

"Going on?" Jim questioned innocently, sending a left jab followed by a right hook.

Roth managed to block the jab, but Jim grazed him with his right, causing him to take a few steps back. Shaking his head, Roth glared at Jim, his guard already back up. They weren't wearing protective head gear and that punch to the head hadn't been an accident.

Jim heard McCoy call out his name, as if from a long distance, but he ignored it and continued to grin maniacally at Roth. "Can't a guy spar with one of his crew mates?"

"Sure," Roth grunted, blocking another flurry of punches, "but I don't think that's what this is about."

Jim's eyes narrowed. "So what's this about, Jason?" Jim asked snidely. Feinting left and then moving right, Jim managed to connect solidly with Roth's ribcage. He smiled at the satisfying crunch and whoosh of breath the other man let out. "Getting slow, Cupcake?" Jim taunted.

Before Roth could respond, Jim launched another attack, but Roth continued to block him, remaining on the defensive and making no overt moves.

"What's your problem – sir?" Roth grunted after dodging a particularly vicious swing aimed at his head again.

"Problem?" Jim countered, starting to breathe a bit more heavily as he continued to attack. "My problem, Lieutenant, is that I put you in charge; I trusted you to see to everyone's safety on M'Qtobau."

"And?" Roth ducked a jab to the face, but took another punch to the ribs. "Everyone's fine. No one was injured."

"Everyone's fine, are they?" Jim swung wide and Roth managed to get under his guard, finally hitting Jim with a jab to the stomach.

"Umf," Jim stopped his attack as he wheezed from the hit.

"Yes, damn it!" Roth moved away, keeping his guard up and eyeing Jim warily.

"Then maybe you could tell me why," Jim said, his voice low and hard, "when I went to wake up Marissa, my _fiancée_, from a bad dream she flinched away from me and said, 'Jason, don't,' you ass hole!"

Roth stopped moving, his hands dropping as he stared at Jim incredulously. Jim took advantage of his stunned opponent and moved in with a vicious right hook, catching Roth on the left cheek and dropping him to the mat.

"Jim!" McCoy's voice came from the side of the ring.

"Stay out of this, Bones," Jim called over his shoulder, his eyes never leaving Roth's prone form. "'No, Jason,'" Jim sneered. "Not too many Jasons on M'Qtobau. In fact, I know of only one – you. What did you do?" Jim demanded, towering over Roth.

"I didn't do anything," Roth protested looking up at Jim, but not meeting his eyes.

"Bullshit," Jim countered, his chest heaving and his whole body tensed. "What happened? What did you do to her?"

"I didn't do anything," Roth repeated more forcefully.

"I don't believe you." Jim kicked at Roth's feet as he remained on the mat.

Roth jumped up quickly for such a big man. "I don't care, _Captain_," he bit out, now using his height to loom over Jim who refused to back down. "Nothing happened," he said as he thumped Jim in the chest with a glove.

"Then why would she say that?" Jim shoved him. "She was frowning and flinching away from me, saying your goddamned name!"

"I don't know why," Roth argued back. "Ask her!" He shoved Jim who barely moved. "Nothing happened."

"Bullshit," Jim said again, taking a quick swing, but he was too close and Roth easily blocked him.

"Did you ask her?" Roth demanded with another shove. "Did you even fucking ask her? She'd tell you nothing happened."

"She was sleeping," Jim prevaricated, taking two steps back and bringing up his fists again.

"You arrogant little…" Roth lunged, but then pulled back. "She was sleeping," he mocked. "You hear her say my name and you get jealous and you don't even bother …"

"I'm not jealous," Jim practically roared as he took a swing that Roth easily dodged. "Not when the name is followed by her begging please don't, you asshole," he bit out at a lower volume. "This isn't jealousy," Jim told him as he launched a blistering attack. "This is me pissed off because I trusted you and you betrayed that trust." Jim continued to throw punches, every few managing to find some body parts – an arm, stomach, ribs, as Roth did his best to defend himself.

Finally something inside Roth seemed to snap. He'd lost a lot of weight, like the others on M'Qtobau, but he'd maintained his muscles, even honed them further. Despite all of that, he still had fifteen kilos on Jim and he finally began putting them to use.

"The only thing I did," Roth grunted, sacrificing his ribs – again – in order to get inside Jim's defenses, "was fall in love with her," he declared as he took a swing at Jim that caught him on the jaw, snapping his head back and splitting his lip. "You arrogant little shit!" he finished, panting heavily as Jim sat stunned on the mat, staring up at him.

"You what?" Jim shook his head, as if to clear his hearing, moving his jaw experimentally and then spitting out some blood.

"I fell in love with her," Roth repeated more quietly this time.

Jim continued to stare, dumbfounded, as Roth panted in front of him.

"Jesus, Kirk, you are such an idiot," Roth shook his head in exasperation. "Do you think you're the only one…" Lifting his glove to his mouth, Roth undid the closure and shook it off, before doing the same to the other. With a frustrated sigh he threw the gloves out of the ring and towards the holding bins.

"Do you have any idea what we went through?" he asked. "And I'm not talking about our official statements," he interrupted when Jim started to open his mouth. "I mean what really happened. What we went through; what it was really like going from pampered diplomats to refugees living rough in caves with barely enough food and planning guerrilla warfare against a government we barely even knew?"

Jim shook his head slowly and then shrugged as he stood up. "She's told me some," he hedged. "She hasn't wanted to talk about it. I have asked," he said defensively, "but she just… she's just happy to be back; to be home with Abby and..."

"And you," Roth finished for him bitterly. Leaning back against the ropes, Roth crossed his arms and glared balefully at Jim. "Do you have any idea how lucky you are, Kirk? And how fucking unfair it is to the rest of us poor bastards?"

Still standing there dumbly, Jim just shook his head.

"You get into the Academy after a goddamned fight that got the rest of us five demerits before we even started classes."

"I didn't start that fight," Jim protested half-heartedly.

"I know," Roth admitted. "We were drunk and full of ourselves and wanted to prove what big, bad Starfleet officers we'd be." He shrugged. "Sorry about that," he apologized wryly.

"Uh, no problem," Jim replied, now looking really confused.

"So you get into the Academy," Roth continued, "breeze through your classes – on the fast track no less – and still manage to sleep with half the girls, girls who wouldn't even give the rest of us the time of day."

"There weren't that many girls," Jim interrupted, this time indignantly.

Roth shook his head in dismissal. "Doesn't matter what the number was, you were still an impossible ideal that none of us could live up to; too good looking, too smart, too charming, too good in bed, able to drink like a fish and still ace your classes. You were – are – just _too_ damn everything."

Jim could feel himself turning red in embarrassment. This wasn't the way this conversation was supposed to be going.

"Then you had to go and beat the _Kobayashi_ _Maru_," Roth said with a put upon sigh, his arms uncrossing and coming to rest on the ropes behind him.

"I…" Jim started to speak, but he had no idea what he was actually going to say. I cheated? I just thought around the problem? I just can't give up, even if I'm supposed to? I don't believe in no-win scenarios?

"I know you cheated, or whatever," Roth cut him off. "It was stupid and dangerous and could have gotten you kicked out, and we were all impressed, and jealous as hell. We figured you'd get in trouble; a slap on the wrist, a few more demerits. They weren't going to kick out the one person who had the makings to be one of the best Starfleet captain in generations. And this was before you stowed away on the _Enterprise_ and saved all our asses – and the _planet_ – by defeating Nero and the _Narada_."

"Spock was there," Jim protested. "I couldn't have done it without him. And Scotty and Sulu and Chekov… I was terrified and…and lucky. But I didn't do it alone. Hell, if Bones hadn't brought me on board…"

"We'd all be dead and Earth would be gone and Nero would have wreaked havoc all over the Federation," Roth finished for him succinctly.

Jim shook his head. "You don't know that. Spock could have… Or someone else might have…" he trailed off, because even though he was trying to be humble, he knew deep inside that if Spock had remained in charge and followed his plan to rendezvous with the Fleet, Earth would have been destroyed, and that eventually the Fleet and every Federation planet that Nero targeted would have fallen, too. "I was lucky," he finally said.

"Too many brains, too huge a dick," Roth said wryly. "But I wasn't going to turn down an appointment to the flagship just because you're an arrogant, but lucky, bastard."

"I wanted the best," Jim said weakly, not sure how he felt about Roth's statement.

"But there's such a thing as taking luck too damn far," Roth continued, "and somewhere between saving our asses and getting us home safely, you managed to knock up – and forever bind to you – one of the sweetest, most intelligent, and bravest women I have ever met," Roth continued, his voice becoming angry again. "And yes, Kirk, I can do math," he said ironically. "You could have any woman in the galaxy, in Starfleet or out of it, starlets, models, diplomats, aliens – anyone, and yet you have Marissa. She's not even your type," he waved his hands in frustration.

Jim glared. "I'm getting really fucking tired of people telling me that I have a fucking type," he muttered, but Roth ignored him.

"You wouldn't even have looked at her back at the Academy or even on the _Enterprise_, except for the lucky chance that got her pregnant," Roth told him.

"It wasn't lucky that she got pregnant," Jim started to protest. "We didn't plan…"

"Are you saying you'd change anything?" Roth questioned. "That if you could go back and …"

"No!" Jim cut him off emphatically. "I wouldn't change a thing. I couldn't. Marissa and Abby are the best things that have ever happened to me, including getting the _Enterprise_."

That last bit seemed to surprise Roth for a moment.

"Well, at least you're not a complete idiot," he said with a begrudging nod of his head. "But you don't deserve them; you don't deserve her. Do you even have the tiniest clue how fucking smart and brave and…amazing…she really is?

"We were hustled out of bed just hours before the bomb went off," Roth told him, his eyes distant, seeing things Jim couldn't. "They took us by ground car at first, but then we got to the end of the road and we had to walk. Humans aren't…" he shook his head. "We're not made for that kind of terrain. The altitude and the slope…we just couldn't keep up as well. It was tough, but we had to keep going, only they wouldn't tell us why at the time.

"I thought Resnick was going insane. After about four hours of marching uphill in less-than-oxygenated air and at an altitude I don't even want to think about, she began mumbling about elevators and escalators and how the rocks were ruining her high heels, but Marissa wouldn't let her stop, she just kept dragging her along, listening to her babble.

"Onizuka basically shut down and refused to get up at one point, no matter what I said or threatened, but Marissa got him moving again. It was only at the entrance of the first cave that I ever saw her balk. Did you know she's afraid of caves?" he asked almost conversationally, as if they were talking about the weather and not the torturous misery they'd endured.

Jim shook his head slowly, stunned by what he was hearing. She was afraid of caves, yet she had lived in one for months? How had he not known this?"

"She did it though," Roth continued, his voice tinged with admiration. "We walked through the mountain for four days. Our only light was the lichens on the wall and the dolomachien rock, along with a few flashlights that we had to use sparingly. It was cold and dark and dank, but she went in, dragging the rest of us along with her. Do you know why?" He didn't even wait for Jim to respond.

"Because she knew…she fucking knew that you were coming for us," he told Jim, his voice somewhere between awe and exasperation at such blind faith. "And when we reached the central headquarters, where you found us, and they told us what happened to Malloribia and that the planet was under a communications black out by order of the Viceroy, we were all stunned. We knew a distress call had been sent out, but after six days... and without a means of contacting anyone, things looked really bad. Resnick broke down, and Onizuka could only sit and stare, he shut down, not speaking, just staring at nothing.

"I found Marissa over in a corner," Roth continued softly, "crying. I tried to comfort her, to tell her that we'd get out of there somehow, but she wasn't crying for herself. She said she knew we'd get out of there eventually, that we had to, so we would. She was crying for you. Because if the _Enterprise_ wasn't there in orbit by then, then it meant that you probably thought we were dead; that she was dead, and she couldn't bear the thought of you living like that; of what that would do to you.

"She missed Abby, but she knew she would be taken care of and that she was young enough to not really know what was going on anyway," Roth said, shaking his head in wonder, "but she worried about you – big, bad Captain Kirk – how you would react to the news of her death. She eventually told me she was pregnant and how stupid she was for telling you. She said she should have done it in person, not in a video message, but she'd just been so happy…and now it just made everything worse for you. You'd lost her and your baby. Jim, Jim, Jim, Jim," Roth sneered, but he didn't sound mean, just resigned. "She never worried about herself. She knew if we could get communications back up you'd be there, and damned if you weren't," he said begrudgingly.

"I…I… As soon as we figured it out," Jim told him, "as soon as we heard Marissa give the surrender response. We were already half way here. I never…if I had known sooner…"

Roth just looked at him. "Yeah, I imagine your life was real tough. No one to watch Abby for you, no one to screw."

Jim took a step towards the other man, his eyes narrowed; he went from stunned to angry in a split second. "Don't you even presume to know anything about my feelings for Marissa. You don't know how I felt when she was gone. You have no idea what it was like for me."

Dropping his arms to his sides, Roth looked at Jim, surprised by his vehemence.

Poking him in the chest with his gloved fist, Jim moved into Roth's personal space. "You say you love her, fine," Jim told him. "I can't blame you. She is amazing and wonderful and the best woman I have ever known. But she's mine."

"You don't deserve her," Roth told him evenly, once again crossing his arms over his chest.

"Maybe not," Jim stepped away from him, "but she's mine and I'm not letting her go."

"And if she chooses someone else?" Roth challenged half-heartedly.

"Not going to happen," Jim said, stripping off one glove and then another. "She loves me."

Roth snorted and rolled her eyes. "Convenient for you."

"And I love her," Jim stated. "And if I have to spend the rest of my life earning her love, so be it. I may not deserve her, but I'm not letting her go." He watched Roth absorb his words. "There's one thing you haven't told me. If nothing happened, then why did she say, 'No Jason, don't please."

The man shrugged tiredly. "I can't be sure, since you didn't ask her," he said pointedly, "but, we all worked specific shifts and since I was charged – by you - with watching over Marissa, we worked the same shift, usually starting early in the morning." He shrugged. "I was her wake up alarm and I imagine you are familiar with the fact that she does not like waking up."

Jim found himself holding back a grin, despite himself. "Yeah, I might be familiar with that. Get any fat lips?"

Roth shook his head wryly. "No, but I did get a bloody nose the first week. Then I learned to stay out of the way."

"Very smart," Jim nodded. Sighing, Jim looked around him, running a hand through his hair uncomfortably. "Look, I'm… I'm sorry. I should have asked Marissa why she said…what she said. And I shouldn't have…" he waved a hand to encompass the boxing ring.

"Well, I can't blame you for defending her," Roth admitted, his arms uncrossing and coming to rest by his sides.

Jim looked over at him sheepishly. "Maybe this makes us even?" he asked hesitantly. "You know, for that night in Riverside and Uhura and all that?" Jim wiped off his palm and extended his hand.

"It helps some, Kirk," Roth acknowledged with a nod, grasping his Captain's hand in a firm handshake. "But you still get the girl."

"Yeah, well," Jim shrugged. "I'm not going to apologize for that. She's amazing."

"That she is," Roth agreed with a resigned grin. "That she is."

They stood there for a moment, looking at each other, not sure what to do next. It was an awkward situation, both men loving the same woman, but her only loving one of them in return.

"Are you two done trying to prove who has the biggest dick on the ship?" McCoy's dry voice interrupted the silence.

"Bones," Jim all but whined, turning to look at his friend who was leaning on the side of the ring. The rest of the gym had mostly cleared out, the aborted boxing match not garnering much attention as the minutes ticked by towards Alpha shift and people had to get to their stations.

"I think it's obvious, doc," Roth said, moving away from Jim. "He's the bigger dick," he pointed at Jim over his shoulder. "No contest."

"Hey!" Jim exclaimed, though there was a smile tugging at his lips.

"Ain't that the truth," McCoy rolled his eyes, as he stepped on one of the ropes and lifted another to give Roth room to climb out of the ring. "Now let me take a look at your ribs. No complaining," he ordered when Roth opened his mouth to say something. "I doubt they're broken, but I want to check just and case. And you," he glared over at Jim. "Get your ass back to your quarters."

Jim, who was fingering his split lip while rubbing his sore jaw, looked over at his friend with a look just shy of panic. "Can't you just fix…"

"Hell no," McCoy interrupted. "You gotta face the music, kid. Marissa is going to rip you a new one when she sees you."

Jim looked forlornly at the two other men who were grinning at his discomfort. "You are not a nice friend," Jim declared, pouting.

"So you say," McCoy chuckled, leading Roth towards the exit. "I expect to see you in Medical before lunch, Jim. I'll repair your lip and any damage Marissa might have inflicted then."

"Damn," Jim said under his breath as he began searching for his discarded shoes and shirt. Marissa was not going to be happy with him. He doubted that she would believe his fat lip and bruising jaw was the result in an accident at the gym. Especially when he'd hightailed it out of their quarters before she'd even woken up. Since she'd been back he had never left her side without telling her where he was going first.

He was not looking forward to telling her how he had jumped to the wrong conclusion and basically assaulted her friend and colleague. He could only hope that Abby was in a clingy mood and wouldn't leave Marissa's side. But then, postponing her anger might not be the best idea, either.

"Shit," he mumbled to himself as he made his way out of the ring and to the exit. This was not how he wanted to start the morning.

_Please review_

_Author's note: Next week I'll be posting the Winona chapter of _First Impressions and Quality Time_. There will not be a _Completion_ chapter. I've run out of completed chapters for this story, though I have a lot of notes, unfinished idea and suggestions/mini scenes from Royalpinkdogs. I've accepted a challenge from the Jim and Bones Livejournal community and it's kind of taken over my life. I'm sorry. I've already apologized profusely to RPD – I'm sure she'll have me doing penance later, but right now, as a writer, I feel like this story has to come out, like, now! It is definitely not a Jim and Marissa story and it won't be posted until just before Valentine's Day._

_Hopefully, once I get this out of my system I can focus on Jim and Marissa once again._

_Cheers –RA_


	12. Chapter 12

**Completion **

**Chapter 12**

Marissa hummed to herself as she watched Abby eat her breakfast. She'd already had some oatmeal and four hardboiled eggs. That had been weird. She'd been staring at the replicator stirring the brown sugar and cream into her oatmeal when the craving had just popped into her mind. The one egg, with generous sprinklings of salt and pepper, had tasted so good she had three more. Apparently she needed the protein. She was contemplating getting another one when the door to their quarters slid open.

"Dada!" Abby chirped, climbing down from her chair and running to him. She giggled as he swept her up in his arms and gave her a quick kiss.

Marissa's smile froze when she saw him wince. It went away when she saw the bruise on the side of his face and a bloodied lip. "What the hell happened to you?" she asked in confusion. Setting down the breakfast dishes she had begun to pick up, she walked toward him worriedly. "And where did you go? You didn't even say anything."

"Dada gots ouchie," Abby said, her little fingers reaching up to touch Jim's split lip.

"Yes, I do baby girl," Jim told her, his eyes skidding away from Marissa. "So don't touch, okay?"

Abby nodded solemnly. "No touch de ouchie," she repeated. "Poor dada." She wrapped her arms around his neck and squeezed. "Unca Bwones make better?" she asked. In her world, Uncle Bones always made things better.

Jim smiled lopsidedly. "Soon," he told her. "Dada needs to take a shower and get dressed. Then Uncle Bones can fix me right up."

"Otay," Abby said, leaning to get down. She'd had enough talk and was ready to play.

Marissa didn't miss the way Jim grimaced when he put Abby on the floor and how he put a hand to his left side as he straightened. She frowned. "All right, what happened?"

"My, uh, sparring partner might have been a bit over enthusiastic," he said, though it was more like a question as he watched to see if she would buy his explanation.

"Uh huh," Marissa commented, her lips pursing as she lifted up his shirt and took in the mottling bruise on his ribs. "And you felt like sparring this morning, why?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at him.

He shrugged. "It sounded like fun." Once again, his statement came out sounding more like a question.

"Sure," Marissa looked at him skeptically. "I've been back four days now. You've barely left my side unless it was to go to the bridge and you've always told me before you leave and now you want me to believe that you decided that sparring sounded like so much fun that you had to leave before I woke up?"

Jim took a quick breath, like he was going to start spinning a tale that she would believe, but deflated when she gave him a serious frown. "Yeah, I didn't think you'd go for that," he admitted on a sigh.

"Yeah, not at all," she agreed, crossing her arms over her chest and staring at him. "Why were you fighting this morning – and who the hell with?"

Jim looked at her and then Abby and the door to their bedroom, before coming back to Marissa. "Can we not do this in front of Abby?" he finally asked softly.

Marissa's eyes narrowed further, before she nodded.

"Abby," she called out, her face transforming with a smile. "I'm going to help dada with his ouchies, okay? We'll be in our bedroom."

Abby's head shot up and she looked between her parents and the bedroom with a frown.

"You can play your piano," Marissa suggested. "We can turn it up so that we can hear it while dada gets fixed. I'd bet he'd like that."

Jim nodded. "That would be awesome, baby girl. I love it when you play your piano," he said with a fixed smile. He knew that Marissa and Spock thought Abby was some kind of prodigy when it came to her piano, but he still couldn't see – or hear – it. He loved his daughter dearly, but it still sounded like noise to him. At least she didn't bang on the keys.

Jim followed Marissa into the bedroom. Damn if he didn't like watching her ass sway when she walked. She'd lost a lot of weight, too much in his opinion, but she still had an ass that he longed to touch and caress. It really was unfortunate that there was no one around to entertain Abby. After the adrenaline rush from the fighting, a good romp in bed was always a nice chaser.

Turning so that she could rest against the low dresser near the bathroom, Marissa crossed her arms and frowned at Jim, looking at him expectantly. Yeah, in the mood she was in there was no way he was going to be able to talk her into sex, even if Abby wasn't in the next room.

"Well," she prodded when he appeared to be struggling for words. "What happened to you? You look like you got into a fight."

"You should see the other guy?" Jim offered with a hesitant grin.

"Oh, should I?" she asked skeptically, her eyebrow lifting in a way that was totally reminiscent of McCoy.

Jim shook his head. "No not really. Besides," he added with some disgruntlement. "I'm sure Bones has already cleaned him up."

"Cleaned him up, but not you?"

"Yeah. Umm, Bones said I had to talk to you first," he finally responded, feeling like a school boy reporting his bad deeds to mommy.

Marissa gave a huffing laugh at that, but nothing else as she waited for Jim to explain.

Fighting the urge to pace and defend himself - because he knew it was useless and because he knew he had acted like an impulsive idiot, Jim finally sat down on the bed, his hands clasped loosely together between his knees as he looked up at Marissa, ready to get this over with.

"You were sleeping," he started. "Under the covers and all curled up. I…well, it woke me up."

Frowning slightly, Marissa apologized. "I didn't mean to wake you up. Was I dreaming again?"

Jim shook his head. "No, not then. That's not why I woke up." He shrugged and looked at her sheepishly. "I tend to wake up when you're not in my arms; when you move away from me," he admitted.

"Jim…" she sighed, her voice softening.

"Yeah, so," Jim continued, clearing his throat uncomfortably. He didn't like seeing the sadness in her eyes and he didn't like reminding her how messed up he had been – and apparently still was – because she had been missing. "It was early, but only barely and I thought I might be able to wake you up, you know, for a quickie before Abby woke up."

This time Marissa's lip quirked up. "I'm sure you did. I still don't see how this fits in to you getting into a fight this morning. If you needed some sort of release I would have been more than willing."

"I know," Jim replied with shrug. "It's just that when I went to wake you up; when I touched you, you grimaced and pulled away from me, frowning. And when I tried again you said…you said, "no, Jason. Don't."

Marissa gaped at him, her mouth open in shock. "I said…"

Jim nodded, not wanting to hear it from her lips again.

"And you thought, what?" she asked, the shock fading away as the pieces of his story began falling into place. "You thought Jason did something to me and then rushed out of here to defend my honor?" she said incredulously.

Jim cringed slightly at how absurd it sounded. "Basically," was all he could say.

"And why would you think that Jason, of all people…" she asked, her voice rose slightly, but then lowered as she glanced over at the open bedroom door. "How could you even…Jim, I told you how he led us; kept us going. How much I respected what he did and how he kept it together."

"I know," Jim admitted, feeling ashamed.

"What the hell, Jim? What were you thinking?" she demanded, throwing her hands in the air in frustration.

"What was I supposed to think?" Jim went on the attack, not liking the feeling of being scolded. He was the captain here, after all. "I touch you, and you flinch away saying some other man's name - a man that you just spent four months with, by the way -begging him to 'please, don't.' What as I supposed to think, Marissa?"

"You were jealous," she said softly, as if the thought hadn't occurred to her.

"No, I wasn't jealous," Jim said angrily. "You _flinched_, Marissa. You begged him to stop. I wasn't jealous, I was pissed off that he had hurt you when I had trusted him with your safety."

"Jason would never hurt me, Jim," Marissa stated. "He wouldn't."

"I know that now," Jim said bitterly, rubbing his cheek. "I didn't know it then."

Sitting down on the bed next to him, Marissa took his hand. "Why didn't you ask me? I heard you leave. I was awake enough, you could have asked."

Jim looked at her earnest face and then down at their clasped hands. Squeezing her hand, he shook his head slowly. "I…I didn't want to hear you say it," he admitted. "If you confirmed it and…and cried, I'd have to stay here with you and…I really wanted to kill the bastard."

"Oh, Jim." She leaned against his shoulder. "That's just…" she shook her head. "Why would even think that Jason could have done something to hurt me? I would have told you if something had happened."

"Would you?" Jim asked pointedly. "Honestly, would you have told me?"

"Of course," Marissa responded, pulling away slightly to look at him, a frown on her face. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Maybe because you didn't want to upset me," Jim countered. "Like why I didn't want to tell you about your father or the auditor and all that other shit. Maybe you were so relieved to be back that you just wanted to put it all behind you and forget about it. Maybe it wasn't that big of deal…in your mind, but it was enough to make you uncomfortable and you didn't want to upset me. And after last night, I thought…"

"Wait, wait," Marissa interrupted him. "What about last night? Nothing happened last night."

Jim snorted. "I'm not an idiot, Marissa. I didn't fully get it at dinner, but when I heard you this morning…"

"Nothing happened at dinner," Marissa protested, her brow wrinkling in confusion. "Dinner was nice. I enjoyed it."

"But you barely spoke to Roth," Jim pointed out. "And when he touched you…you stiffened, your smile froze for a second and then you took Abby from me like a shield." He watched as her face reddened slightly. "What was I supposed to think? And then when we made love…" His free hand came up to his neck. "You marked me, Marissa. Don't get me wrong, I liked it, but you've never done that before. I thought it was because of…of what we talked about; the auditor and…and Carol and all that shit, but this morning," he shook his head, "yeah, that wasn't what came to mind."

"Oh, god," Marissa whispered, her face bright red as she stared at his neck. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…it was just that you were there, under me and…"

"Hey," Jim nudged her with his shoulders. "I said I liked it. Anytime you want to ride me like that, I'm all for it, but this morning," he paused, trying to find the right words. "I thought it might not have been about just us. I thought it might have been your way of…of staking claim."

"It was, probably," Marissa admitted, staring pointedly at their joined hands. "But it had nothing to do with Jason. Not consciously. And at dinner, I wasn't…I mean…"

"You can't tell me you didn't act differently towards him," Jim interrupted her with a scoff. "You were laughing and joking with Scobee and Onizuka but Roth barely said a word all night and you barely looked at him and when you did, it was just brief glances. I put it off as me not being used to seeing you around men I'm not familiar with. But then when we left you hugged everyone but Roth."

"I don't know what to say," Marissa admitted after a few moments of silence. "Nothing happened. He looked out for me, made sure I got up for my shifts and had enough food. I'm pretty sure he gave me some of his rations towards the end. I owe…_we_ owe him a lot, Jim. He worked hard to get the array up and working. He was a great leader; to us and the M'Qtobauans."

Jim looked over at her, her face lowered so that he couldn't see her expression. From the set of her shoulders he would bet anything that she was feeling uncomfortable.

"You know how he feels about you," he stated softly, "don't you?"

Her head shot up, and her wide eyes sought his. If it was possible her cheeks turned even redder. "You know?" she asked surprise.

"Yeah," he nodded. "I was so surprised when he said it, I let him sucker punch me," he said ruefully, rubbing gently at his jaw.

Marissa's eyes narrowed slightly. "Why? Is it so surprising that someone might be attracted to me?" she asked, her voice low as she tried to pull her hand away from his.

"Shit, that's not what I meant, Mariss," Jim immediately replied, tugging at her hand. "I was surprised because he actually admitted it to me, not the fact that he loves you."

Shaking her head, Marissa pulled away and stood up. "He doesn't love me," she said, wrapping her arms across her chest, almost defensively. "It's…it's just a crush. I mean, we were stuck together for four months and you had put him in charge of me and my safety, and when he found out I was pregnant…" she looked bewilderingly at Jim. "It's just a crush because…I never encouraged him. I never…"

"Hey, hey," Jim said, standing up and pulling her into his arms even as she resisted stiffly. "I never said you did anything. And crush or love…I really can't blame the guy," Jim said with a small smile. "I can totally see the appeal." He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Marissa snorted lightly as she leaned into Jim, allowing him to put his arms around her. "I just…I wasn't expecting it," she admitted softly. "He'd become such a good friend, but…"

"What happened?" Jim asked. "How did you…did he tell you?"

Immediately Marissa started shaking her head. "Oh, no. No. He never...he would never," she stumbled. "He knew how I felt about you; how much I missed you. You'd think Judith would have been my…my shoulder to cry on – being the other female, but it was Jason. He took care of me, Jim," she told him earnestly. "He took care of all of us, but especially me. He made sure I slept and that I had enough to eat. When I was depressed he'd make me talk; listened to me cry. But he never…he never even hugged me and I probably could have used a hug or two," she said wryly with a sniff.

"And then one of the M'Qtobauan women in the infirmary asked me about him. She asked me if humans did not…if mates did not touch in front of others," she said, embarrassed. "She was really curious about the differences between humans and M'Qtobauans and she was always asking questions. She assumed because of the way he watched over me that he was my…"

"Mate," Jim finished for her, his voice heavy.

"Yeah," Marissa agreed, pressing her face into his chest. "I had no idea and then Jason walked up behind me and overheard what we were talking about and…I've never seen someone so embarrassed. So then it was kind of obvious, you know? I even asked Judith what she thought and…Then all hell broke loose and we were under direct attack and then you showed up and…I just put it out of my mind. He was never more than a friend to me, Jim," she told him honestly. "A good friend."

Jim smiled softly down at her. "I believe you Marissa. And it doesn't really matter. You're mine."

Looking up at him, Marissa lifted an eyebrow at him, a small grin on her face. "Feeling territorial, are we?"

Jim kissed her, his lips firmly pressing against hers as he forced her to open for him, though she didn't put up much of a protest. Tipping her head back, she gave in to his onslaught, her body melting against his. "I'd show you territorial if the munchkin wasn't awake," he told her. "I…"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off by a plaintive cry from the other room. They looked up, a rush of adrenaline flowing instantly through their veins, but before they could take two steps Abby was standing in the doorway, her face covered in tears.

"I's go potty," she sobbed, throwing herself at Marissa's knees. "I's sowry."

"Oh, sweetheart," Marissa said, picking up and giving her a hug. "It's okay. It was an accident." This wasn't enough for Abby who continued to sob pitifully as she was hugged and patted by her parents.

Jim and Marissa exchanged pained expressions. It didn't take a genius to realize that Abby's suddenly reverting back to needing diapers, though she refused, was in direct response to Marissa's sudden reappearance and most especially the massive tantrum she'd thrown the other day. They'd discussed it and even talked with McCoy about it. The doctor told them not to worry. She'd been young when she first became potty trained and reverting back to wetting her pants wasn't a stumbling block, it was just her way, probably subconsciously, of getting attention. Jim and Marissa were in no way ignoring her, but she was still just a baby, barely a toddler despite her vocabulary and accomplishments, and she needed her parents.

They agreed to treat her wetting her pants as no big deal and to continue on as usual, neither rewarding nor punishing the mishaps, and hopefully she'd be back on track soon enough.

"I know," Marissa said to Abby, pulling away so she could see her face. "I need to go talk to Ms. Maria and Veronique and dada needs to shower and go see Uncle Bones. What do you say we get you cleaned up, Abby-girl, and then go visiting and then we can meet dada at daycare. Do you think Ms. Daugherty will let us play in tumble town with the other kids?"

Abby looked at her suspiciously. "You pway too?"

"Of course," Marissa agreed with a smile. "I could use some play time."

"'n dada?"

"Me too," Jim agreed. "Besides, don't you miss your friends, Abby?"

Abby shrugged sullenly, resting her head on Marissa's shoulder, but they took that as a yes.

Jim kissed them both. "I'll see you soo…er later," he corrected himself. "Say hi to Ms. Maria and Veronique for me, Munchkin."

Jim stepped into Medical and scanned for McCoy, but didn't see him right away.

"Chapel, where's Bones?" he asked, walking over to her desk.

"Captain," she nodded, her blue eyes cataloguing his bruised jaw and probably the stiffness in the way he walked towards her. "Do your injuries have anything to do with why Lieutenant Roth was dragged in this morning by Dr. McCoy?" she asked, one eyebrow lifted in a pretty good imitation of her boss. "Never mind," she continued when Jim started to grin at her, leaning on the desk. "I don't want to know. Dr. McCoy is in his office."

"But I had such a good story for you," Jim said with a wink.

"I'm sure," she said in a deadpan voice. "I'll wait to hear the real story from reliable sources." With a quirk of her lip, she went back to whatever she was working on, effectively dismissing him.

"No respect," Jim muttered as he crossed the room to McCoy's office. "Bones," he exclaimed loudly, causing the other man to jump slightly in his seat and then glare. "Your staff gives me no respect."

"What have been telling you all this time, Jim," McCoy asked. "Respect has to be earned."

"Ouch," Jim replied, giving McCoy a wounded look.

McCoy ignored him. Instead he stood up and led him back out of the office and to one of the bio beds. "Well, you don't look any worse for wear. Marissa didn't do any more damage?"

"As if," Jim scoffed as he hoisted himself up onto the bed, watching McCoy pull the privacy curtain.

"Yeah, you're right," McCoy nodded, already running his tricorder over Jim's face. "I don't imagine she'd do anything with Abby around."

Jim glared at his friend, his lips pursed and frowning. "Ha, ha."

"What the hell set you off this morning anyway?" McCoy asked. "Take off your shirt."

Gingerly complying, Jim removed both his shirts and let McCoy scan his ribs. "Roth didn't say?"

"Nope," McCoy replied absently as he looked over the read outs. "Nothing broken. Roth was pretty quiet. You cracked one of his ribs, by the way."

"Shit," Jim said, running a hand through his hair. He hadn't meant to hurt the man – well, he had, but that was before he knew what was really going on and now he just felt like a heel.

Grabbing the regen, McCoy took hold of Jim's chin and began to run it over his bruised cheek. "Well, he's fixed now. That was the worst of it. But I'm still wondering…"

Jim sighed. "He…he's in love…with Marissa," Jim admitted.

McCoy looked at him expectantly. "And what? You had to beat him up for it?"

"No, that's not…that's…shit." He let out another deep sigh.

"Hold still," McCoy scolded.

"See, Marissa was sleeping and I was going to wake her up and she flinched and said 'no, Jason, don't.' What was I supposed to think?" he demanded.

"Ah," McCoy nodded, a knowing look on his face. "So you heard that, jumped to the conclusion that he'd done something to her and raced out of your quarters to beat the crap out of him."

"Basically," Jim admitted sheepishly.

"And you didn't wake up Marissa to ask her what she meant or why she'd say something like that," he continued.

"Uh, yeah."

"Jim."

"Yeah, Bones?"

"You're an idiot."

"Thanks, Bones," Jim said wryly, trying not to move his mouth as McCoy repaired his split lip.

"That's what friends are for, kid," he said. "At least that explains your expression when he cold-cocked you. He'd just told you, hadn't he?"

Jim shoulders slumped. "Yeah, and I felt…" he shook his head slowly now that McCoy had moved on to his ribs, lifting his left arm so that his elbow pointed at the ceiling, giving the doctor full access to his bruised side. "Then he told me why he fell in love with her – Marissa claims it's just a crush because they had to spend so much time together, but…I don't know. I heard what he said and how he described her and…it just…I can see where he's coming from."

"Because you love her too," McCoy nodded.

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "She's mine."

Both McCoy's eyebrows rose at the vehemence of Jim's statement. "Wow, that's a bit possessive."

Jim rubbed at the mark on his neck. "I'm not the only one," he replied.

McCoy frowned briefly. "Yeah, I don't want details, thanks."

"I can understand how Roth feels about her, I can," Jim explained. "But he only knew her for four months. I've known her for years now. And we have Abby and Shea and…"

"Wait, wait," McCoy held up a hand. "Who the hell is Shea?"

Jim looked at him, confused, but then he realized McCoy didn't know. "The baby. She doesn't want to name him Tiberius. She wants to name him Seamus, Seamus Leonard. Shea for short."

"Oh, well," he said, nonplussed. "That's better. Leonard still sucks, but…"

"Eh," Jim shrugged. "It's better than Horatio."

"True," McCoy nodded.

"But, like I was saying, we have years together and two kids and she's going to be my wife."

Placing the regen down, McCoy snorted as he tossed Jim his shirts.

"What?" Jim asked suspiciously.

"Have you asked her?"

"What?" Jim said, pulling his head through his undershirt. "Of course. On M'Qtobau when we rescued them."

Crossing his arms, McCoy looked at Jim patronizingly. "As I recall you told her you were going to _ask_ her to marry you, kid. There were several witnesses. And in my experience, when a woman gets engaged she normally can't stop talking about it. Marissa's probably talked with half the ship since she's been back, at least briefly, and there ain't no one talking about your upcoming nuptials. She doesn't even have an engagement ring or nothing and I know you have that big shiny rock hidden somewhere."

Jim stared in shock, his command gold shirt forgotten in his hand.

"You complacent son of a bitch," McCoy chuckled. "She's made this whole thing too easy on you. You didn't even have to work to get her."

Now Jim bristled. "Abby and Marissa are the best things to ever happen to me, Bones."

"I know, kid," McCoy immediately agreed. "I just kinda always hoped that when you got hooked by some girl she'd lead you on a right good chase, make you suffer a bit. Instead, you slide into being a father and husband, basically, without any troubles. That can make us lesser mortals jealous, you know?"

"Roth says I don't deserve her," Jim said softly.

"Well, no you don't. But for some reason she seems to love you," McCoy replied unperturbed by Jim's glare. "I think you two are a pretty good match up – and good for each other. Someone's got to keep you in line. Lord knows I try, but I could definitely use the help."

Jim mechanically thanked Bones as he left Medical and spent the rest of the day in a thoughtful haze. He met up with Marissa and Abby at the daycare and had a good time playing with Abby and the other kids. They'd enjoyed lunch with everyone there and then gone back to their quarters to let Abby and Marissa nap. He'd spent most of the afternoon preparing his statement for the upcoming "trial" on Galdonterre as well as going over Spock and Selek's reports, making sure they had everything they could to take down Franks and Dekker.

Their dinner and evening was low key. They remained in their quarters and just enjoyed each other's company, watching a vid before putting Abby to bed. And when he came to bed and Marissa had turned to him and given him her special smile, he had been more than willing to do whatever she wanted.

Now, sated, with Marissa curled up against him, her legs intertwined with his and her head resting on his chest, Jim's mind drifted back to his conversation with McCoy. He really hadn't asked her to marry him, he realized. He'd insinuated that he would ask and she'd said that her answer would be yes, but he hadn't gone further. At the time it had been enough, but now he realized that it so wasn't. They hadn't even discussed when they would get married – before Shea was born or after.

He'd kind of assumed that they'd have Pike marry them on Galdonterre, but that meant that only the crew would be present. There wouldn't be time for her family to arrive and Marissa would probably want Janine, her best friend, there. Didn't little girls dream about their weddings? He didn't think Marissa was any different.

McCoy was right. He was an idiot.

Realizing there was no way he was going to be able to sleep now, Jim began to run his hand up and down Marissa's exposed shoulder, his other hand playing with the fingers on his chest. She only hummed and snuggled a little closer. So, he squeezed her shoulder and said her name.

This time she responded with a questioning hum, but still didn't come fully awake.

Just for a moment Jim thought about letting it go and letting her fall back asleep, but then he found himself asking, "Did you mean it when you said yes?"

She raised her head and blinked at him sleepily, her expression bewildered. "Huh? Wha'?"

Jim smiled, rubbing her cheek where it had pressed against his chest and left a mark. "Did you mean it when you said yes?" he repeated.

"Yes t' wha', sweetie?" she asked, turning her face into his hand like a kitten.

Jim let his fingers card back through her hair, his thumb now stroking the shell of her ear. He could feel himself blushing, but he couldn't look away from her sleepy eyes as she blinked slowly at him, a small confused frown on her face.

"I said that when we got back to the ship I was gonna ask you to marry me," he explained, "and you said your answer would be yes. Did you mean it?"

That seemed to get her attention and she sat up on her elbow. "Uh…yes?" she finally responded.

Jim let out a huge breath he hadn't even realized he'd been holding.

"I meant it then and I mean it now," she said, her lips quirked up in a wry smile. "But, you know Jim, for all that you're a master strategist, you could've picked a better time. Twice now you've woken me up to ask me to marry you. I'm not gonna give you a third chance." She leaned down to kiss him briskly before returning her head to his chest, chuckling slightly. "Yes, I will marry you. Now shut up and go to sleep."

He chuckled too, feeling her smile against his skin. "Nope, wake up," he told her, wiggling his shoulder under her head. "I want you to have something." Untangling himself from her various body parts, that did not seem to want to relinquish him, Jim rolled over towards his nightstand. Pulling open the drawer he fumbled in it for a moment. When he'd found what he was looking for, he sat up and twisted around to face Marissa, who was also sitting up in bed, the sheets held loosely over her chest as she watched him bemusedly, her hair in total disarray over her shoulders.

Taking a deep breath, he reached for Marissa's right hand, his other hand clutching the small deep blue velvet jeweler's box. He cleared his throat softly and then looked directly at her, his expression serious, but his eyes twinkling. "Marissa Rose O'Donnell; I love you more than I know how to express with mere words. Will you do me the honor of agreeing to be my wife?" he asked simply. Triggering the box to open, he held it out to her, displaying the ring he'd hidden for almost a year now.

Marissa tore her eyes away from his piercing gaze to see what the box contained and gasped. She immediately recognized that the ring matched the earrings and necklace he'd given her months ago. "Jim!" she smiled, the tears already starting to flow. "Oh my gods." She reached out a trembling hand, letting it hover over the ring, knowing that this was something he'd had long before she'd disappeared.

Looking back up into his eyes, she cupped his face with her free hand, her other still clenched tightly in his. "Yes, James Tiberius Kirk," she said formally, "I will marry you."

After a soft kiss, she leaned back and watched as he removed the ring from the box. She extended her left hand and he gently placed the ring on her finger, holding it in place when he reached the base. He brought her hand up to his lips and placed a kiss on her knuckles and then leaned forward to kiss her once again; this kiss morphed into a deeper one, and after a long time they came up for air their foreheads resting together as they smiled goofily at each other.

Marissa laughed giddily. "Okay I'm awake now," she told him. "You want to fool around?"

Jim's eyes crinkled as he tried not to laugh. "Damn it, Mariss. I'm a starship captain, not some sex god! How much stamina do you think I have?"

Smiling impishly, Marissa ran a hand down his chest, trailing her fingers through the soft hair under his belly button, to her goal, which was half hard already. "Plenty," she whispered against his lips.

Jim groaned at the feel of her hand on him. "If I must," he said, already pressing her back into the bed.

"I insist," Marissa told him, already tipping her hips towards his, her leg wrapping around his hip and pulling him closer.

"Far be it from me to disappoint my future wife," Jim said as he nuzzled her breast, letting the warmth of his breath play over her nipple.

"See," Marissa sighed, "you already have this husband thing down."

Jim bit her lightly on the nipple, causing her to squawk and then moan as he soothed it with his tongue. "As you wish."

_Please review_

_I was informed last night by my lovely, kind and wonderful beta reader, RoyalPinkDogs, that I should post this chapter, lest you all forget about me and the story. She phrased it as a suggestion, but I know how to read between the lines and I don't want to disappoint her. _

_That being said, I don't have chapter 13 written yet. I've had some medical concerns (all good now) and I've started a new job, so I feel like I've been trying to find my feet and a new rhythm to my life. It will come and hopefully the chapters will start flowing…but don't expect regular postings. I'm sorry for that._

_And for those of you playing along at home – the proposal scene? Totally written by Royalpinkdogs months ago. She's been waiting patiently (mostly) for me to get here. I think it's the perfect Jim proposal, don't you?_

_Cheers - RA_


	13. Chapter 13

**Completion**

**Chapter 13**

On the fifth morning since their rescue from M'Qtobau and about two hours out from Galdonterre, all the members of the away team were notified of a meeting in Conference Room One on the bridge level. Since they had not been reinstated yet and were not working, Ellison Onizuka, Dick Scobee, Judith Resnik and Jason Roth were able to report within minutes of the summons. They chatted and postulated about the upcoming meeting as they waited for it to begin. After spending months together and living in each other's pockets, or so it seemed, it felt odd not to see each other on a daily basis.

Marissa was last to arrive, having had to take Abby to the daycare center. She had to spend a few minutes dealing with the child's separation anxiety by getting her involved in a game of tag with the other children and promising that Pasha would take her swimming later while mama and dada were busy with work, but eventually she was able to leave. Abby's eventual happiness playing with her friends did nothing to ease Marissa's maternal guilt, though.

Judith Resnik moved toward Marissa as soon as she entered the conference room and gave her a quick hug.

"Do you have any idea what's going on?" she asked as she pulled away.

Marissa shook her head. "Not a clue. Jim didn't say anything this morning at breakfast."

Her friend looked her over carefully. "Abby in daycare?" she asked sympathetically.

"Yeah," Marissa replied with a puff of breath, her smile wobbly. "It was harder than I thought, leaving her there. She didn't want me to go and I didn't want to, but…"

"You had to," Judith finished for her.

"Yeah," Marissa nodded, pushing some stray hairs off her face to tuck behind her ear. "It hasn't been that long that I've been back and she's still adjusting. We both are."

"Oy vey!" Judith suddenly exclaimed as she spied the ring on Marissa's left hand. "Marissa! Let me see that!" she demanded, taking hold of her hand. Her loud exclamation caught everyone's attention and all eyes turned to them.

At first Marissa only stared blankly, but then she began blushing as Judith stared at her ring and everyone else gathered around. "Yeah, he gave it to me last night," she told them.

"Oy!" Judith repeated, "It's gorgeous! It's amazing!" Lifting Marissa's hand she examined the ring with the eye of an expert. "This is a fire diamond! Wow. I love the smaller diamonds around the two stones. And – this sapphire, damn, it's the exact color as the captain's eyes." She looked up at Marissa, her eyes twinkling. "It's absolutely gorgeous! And our usual undergrad comment 'Is it big enough to see the flaws?' sure doesn't apply here," she laughed.

"Damn," Scobee said as he leaned in. "The captain is sure making it hard on the rest of us guys! How are we supposed to compete with that?" He gave Marissa's hand a friendly squeeze. "Congrats Marissa."

"Thank you, Dick."

"It matches that necklace you traded for the crystalline battery and lithium booster packs," Onizuka commented. "What'd the captain have to say about that?"

Marissa shrugged, a bit overwhelmed. "Nothing really," she told them. "I was a more upset about it than he was, actually."

Judith frowned over at Onizuka. "Of course he didn't care about the necklace. It was just a bunch of rocks. I think it's more important that it helped get us back home."

"Well, yeah," Onizuka backed away slightly from Judith's glare. "But that thing had to cost a pretty good chunk of credits…"

Scobee punched him playfully in the shoulder. "The credits don't count. Who cares how much the necklace cost if it got Marissa back to the _Enterprise_?"

Onizuka held up his hands in surrender. "I'm just saying."

"Ellison, you are the most unromantic man I know," Judith said with a laugh. "I pity the woman who takes you on."

"Hey!" He tried to look wounded, but ended up laughing. "I can't help it. I was raised by a physicist and an engineer."

Everyone laughed with him.

"So," Judith stated, bringing everyone's attention back to her and Marissa. "Is this what it looks like? Are you gonna marry him?"

Nodding her head with a wide grin on her face, Marissa chuckled. "Yeah, I am. I don't know when exactly, but this time I said yes."

Judith's jaw dropped comically. "You mean he's asked before? When?"

Marissa waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, a long time ago. I just didn't see the need at the time."

"Honey, if someone offered me a ring like this, I'd say yes in a second," Judith told her. "It's not like the captain is hard on the eyes, after all."

Marissa smiled and rolled her eyes. "He didn't have this ring the first time," she told them. "And it's not like I'm marrying him for it anyway. But after M'Qtobau…after everything, it would make things a lot easier, especially with another baby on the way."

Judith looked at her knowingly. "And you love him."

"And I love him," Marissa admitted.

"He must have bought this ring when he bought that necklace," Onizuka pointed out. He was examining the ring, holding Marissa's hand inches from his face. "That's a huge amount of credits to spend in one go."

"Ellison!" Judith and Marissa said in amused exasperation.

"He's got a point," Scobee interjected. "He must have bought them at the same time."

"With the earrings," Judith chimed in.

Onizuka whistled.

"When'd he give you the necklace?" Scobee asked curiously.

"For my birthday," Marissa told them. "Right before we left for M'Qtobau."

"Well, I have to give the captain some credit," Scobee smiled. "He does plan long term."

"Congratulations are in order," Judith declared, throwing her arms around Marissa and giving her a hug. "Oh wait," she pulled back slightly. "You tell the woman, 'Best wishes' and the man gets the congratulations. I am so happy for you," she grinned, hugging Marissa again. "Maybe the idea of 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' really works, huh?"

"I guess so," Marissa agreed, already being engulfed by Scobee's hug.

"Not if he bought that ring months ago," Onizuka said as he too, hugged Marissa in congratulations.

Marissa just shook her head, a wry smile on her face. "Speaking of men and their eccentricities, what do you think Aaron is going to do when you comm. him?" Marissa asked, turning back to Judith. "This communication blackout has been a real pain. I know I really need to comm. my family. And I know you are dying to talk to Aaron. Any guesses on how he's going to react?"

"I don't know!" Judith threw up her hands. "I've never come back from the dead before. Not something people in my religion tend to do, you know?" The two women chuckled at the absurdity of their situation as the men watched in bemusement.

"But I plan to tell him I'm on my way to join him on Fifteen," she told Marissa as Scobee and Onizuka began talking about their upcoming shore leave on Galdonterre. "We had talked about it often, but I had dreams of adventure and excitement aboard a starship and kept putting him off. But now," she shrugged, a wry smile on her face, "I just want to be with my man."

"I understand," Marissa said, laying a comforting hand on her friend's arm. "They have their uses don't they? I suppose that means you're leaving us right away." Judith nodded. "We need to have a farewell party!"

"No, no," Judith demurred. "We'll celebrate on Galdonterre and then I'll head off to Fifteen when a ride becomes available. Mr. Spock and the Captain have been extremely accommodating and helpful. All my paperwork is in order, just waiting to be transmitted and the Captain is sure there won't be any trouble. But don't worry, I won't leave without saying goodbye. After all we've been through together, I couldn't."

The two women looked at each other sadly, but with understanding.

"We're going to be sad to lose you," Marissa told her, "but I know you want to be with Aaron. I totally understand. What will you do on Fifteen?"

Judith shrugged. "I'll be in security for now, but I'm thinking about applying for xenohistory – you were such an inspiration to me. I want to do more with that aspect of our mission. I can finally use those undergrad classes I took on a whim for something. And I can work on the graduate classes I need from Fifteen."

Marissa smiled shyly as she blushed at her friend's compliment. "I'm always available to help you out," she said. "I know a few people in the department, after all."

Judith laughed. "I'm sure you do. I wouldn't be surprised if I end up taking a class or two from you sometime in the future."

"I don't know about that," Marissa said.

The two women laughed and continued chatting for awhile, but then Marissa looked up and saw Roth standing at the viewport, his back to the room. He hadn't said anything since he'd entered, but that was typical of his personality. Still, Marissa felt the urge to speak to him.

"Judith," she interrupted the other woman. "Will you excuse me for a moment?" She nodded briefly toward Roth with an uncomfortable smile.

Judith nodded sympathetically. "Of course," she replied, giving Marissa's hand an encouraging squeeze. "We'll talk more later." She walked over and joined in the conversation with Scobee and Onizuka, their easy camaraderie a result of the terrifying time spent together, cementing a bond of friendship that would never be broken.

Marissa crossed the room slowly, trying to come up with something to say. She knew this was going to be an awkward conversation, but it was something she felt had to be done. Jason was her friend and she couldn't let that go unacknowledged or unappreciated.

"Jason?" she said quietly from behind him.

He must have seen her approaching in the reflection from the viewport because he didn't startle at all, just turned slowly and gave her a brief nod.

"Lieutenant. Congratulations."

Marissa sighed. "Thank you, but I think after everything you can call me by my name," she pointed out gently.

Roth only nodded, yet to make eye contact with her.

"Jason," Marissa tried again, not sure what to say. She reached out to lay a hand on his arm, but he stiffened slightly, so she let it drop. "I'm…sorry," she finally said. "About yesterday."

"Not your fault," he replied instantly.

"I know," she said wryly. "But Jim was an idiot. He should have known you'd never hurt me. I told him what a good friend you were and how you led us all and…"

"It's okay," Roth interrupted her, his eyes still looking over her head. "The Captain and I worked it all out."

There was an awkward silence as they stood there together, neither quite able to look at the other. There was so much to say, but no way to say it.

"Dana Hannity was asking about you the other day," Marissa commented. "She…"

"Marissa," Roth interrupted her, his voice pained. "Please don't."

Marissa nodded, giving him a tight smile. "Okay."

"I appreciate it, but…"

"I understand," she told him sadly. She began to walk away, but his hand on her arm stopped her.

"You're really happy with him," he said. It was statement rather than a question.

"I am," Marissa replied, looking him directly in the eyes as her hand absently caressed her belly.

He watched her for a moment longer and then nodded, releasing her arm. "Then I'm happy for you," he told her.

"Thank you," Marissa replied with a soft smile before turning away to join the others. She didn't like the fact that she was hurting her friend; that had never been her intention, but there was nothing she could do for him. She loved Jim.

The door to the conference room slid open suddenly and Commander Spock strode in. He nodded formally to the members of the away team. The captain, McCoy, Uhura, and Ambassador Selek entered just behind him.

Standing at the head of the conference table, the Captain smiled at them, giving a wink to Marissa, and waved them to seats around the table.

"Captain," Roth said formally before sitting down. "The members of the M'Qtobau away team, Lieutenants Roth, O'Donnell and Resnik, and Ensigns Scobee and Onizuka reporting as ordered."

"Thank you, Lieutenant," Jim said with a nod, motioning for Roth to take his seat next to McCoy. "And thank you Lieutenants and Ensigns for coming on such short notice." Sitting back in his chair he looked them all over and smiled. "Once again, let me say how happy I am that you are all back with us. You know almost everyone at this table, but Ambassador Selek," he waved towards the older Vulcan who bowed. "He has been assisting us in finding out what happened to you." He then formally introduced each member of the away team to Selek.

"I imagine you are all wondering why you are here," Jim began, his hands grasp before him as he leaned forward on the table. "We'll be arriving at Starbase 23 within the next two hours. You need to know the real reason we are going to Galdonterre and what is going to happen once we arrive. I do not in any way want to influence your testimony, but you five are, in fact, at the very heart of this visit.

"As part of the investigation into your disappearance on M'Qtobau some information was uncovered that caught the interest of several branches within Starfleet and the Federation Government," Jim told them. "A team of inquiry had already been assembled at the direction of the Federation President, but it is the result of your rescue and return that this meeting is taking place now. In essence, you have been ordered to Galdonterre by Admiral Pike acting on the instructions of Federation President Okata."

He sat back and let the away team members absorb the import of his words. They all looked bewilderingly at each other and then him.

"I don't understand, sir," Scobee finally spoke up. "Our mission…it was just to observe and report. There wasn't…didn't seem to be… I mean, aside from a city getting blown up, it was just a normal away mission, wasn't it?" He looked around at his fellow members. "Are we…in trouble?"

"No," Jim responded immediately. "I'm sorry if I gave you that impression." He watched as five sets of shoulders relaxed. "As I said, this investigation started well before your away mission, but while we were looking for the cause of your – apparent – demise we," he looked at the other officers and the ambassador, "stumbled on some information that tied what happened to you to a bigger…conspiracy."

"Conspiracy?" Marissa repeated, her eyes on Jim curiously.

"Yes, conspiracy," Jim nodded at her. "Spock," he turned to his first officer who knew what was expected and turned the discussion over to him as he leaned back in his chair and watched.

"Once on Galdonterre," Spock began, "You will each be asked to describe everything you saw and experienced during your time on M'Qtobau. You will be asked to describe your initial reception by the M'Qtobauan officials, the atmosphere surrounding your presence there, the things you saw, perceived and documented and the efforts you made on behalf of your fellow mountain cave dwelling rebels that led to the change in government of the planet."

"I don't know," Resnik interrupted slowly. "Sounds an awful lot like we're getting interrogated for breaking the Prime Directive." Scobee and Onizuka nodded in agreement.

"You're not," Jim told her firmly. "Your actions are above reproach. You did what you had to in order to survive and you aided the populace of the planet. So far, you have not been asked to make the usual formal report following an away mission. Consider this a more formal than usual debriefing. There will be a small army of attorneys that have accompanied the Federation Attorney General that will be taking your statements directly."

Every member of the away team paled at that fact.

"You are not under any suspicion," Jim told them again. "This goes well beyond M'Qtobau and even the destruction of Mallorbia. I don't mean to insult anyone's ego, but you are all just pawns in a much bigger picture." He nodded to Spock to continue.

"You will be questioned in detail and your reports will be recorded," the Vulcan told them. "We have been led to believe that the questioning may take several days. You will not necessarily be under examination the entire time," he said, much to their relief, "but you may be asked to return to meetings with various members of the government delegation for more than just your initial interviews."

"Well, doesn't that sound like fun?" Onizuka mumbled loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Captain," Marissa spoke up. "Can you tell us what is really going on? I don't like the idea of going in there blind. I think we deserve to know what this is really about after all we've been through."

Jim glanced between Spock and the ambassador, receiving two small nods. "What I am about to tell you is not to leave this room," Jim told them seriously. He leaned forward, his elbows on the table and met the gaze of each member of the away team and waited for the silent agreement. "The evidence you present will be used in the case the Attorney General is pressing against Admirals Chandler Dekker and Harry Franks."

Marissa inhaled sharply, but Jim kept his eyes on the others.

"It has been shown to the satisfaction of the Attorney General and President Okata that Dekker and Franks have used information obtained through their Starfleet resources to aid, assist and enrich UNISTAR, a galaxy-wide business conglomerate." Jim paused for a moment to look over at Marissa and gage her reaction. "They are both silent members of the board of directors of UNISTAR. Evidence suggests that they have been manipulating the fleet, arranging deployments and allowing access for UNISTAR operatives on non-allied planets for a while now."

"Including M'Qtobau," Marissa said softly, her eyes wide in shock.

"Including M'Qtobau," Jim agreed.

The stunned facial expressions were enough to convince Jim that more needed to be explained. "Mr. Ambassador, will you please tell our crewmembers what you discovered?"

Selek turned in his chair to face the away team. "My greetings to you all," he said politely. "And may I say it is gratifying that you are returned to the Starfleet fold. As a veteran of many years of service in Starfleet, I am well aware of the friendship and camaraderie that exists among shipmates, and the loss of colleagues is always disturbing."

He paused for a moment, grasping his hands in front of him. "I, too, do not wish to influence your testimony, but you are right, Lieutenant," he nodded towards Marissa. "You do deserve to know what is really going on. In my research from a planet-based facility it became apparent to me that Admirals Dekker and Franks have used their positions within the hierarchy of Starfleet to direct UNISTAR's acquisition of the mineral rights of multiple newly discovered uninhabited planets."

"They weren't all uninhabited," Marissa interrupted, her restrained anger obvious.

"True," Selek conceded, "but the inhabited planets they have chosen have been well away from Starfleet interests in order to remain 'under the sensors,' though as recently as the conference on Stratnon Admiral Dekker had been cautioned by the Federation president for his possible biased interests."

"The president knew?" Marissa asked incredulously.

"He suspected," Selek conceded.

"Semantics," Marissa scoffed in return, a look of disgust on her face.

Selek nodded and continued, "From these acquisitions made by UNISTAR the admirals have accumulated sizeable incomes for themselves, in addition to their Starfleet salaries."

"Greedy bastards," Scobee mumbled under his breath.

"Indeed," Selek agreed. "It was also discovered, by Doctor McCoy, that Admiral Dekker's son-in-law, Captain Nyola, is the illegitimate son of the president of the Terran system conglomerate SOLALCO. Dekker holds a great deal of stock in that company as well. Needless to say, his financial holdings have grown exponentially in recent years."

"Well, that explains UNISTAR's interest in M'Qtobau, at least," Marissa said aloud, though it appeared she was talking to herself.

"I don't understand," Resnik spoke up, looking bewilderingly between the ambassador and Marissa.

"May I?" Marissa asked, turning to Jim.

He waved his hand for her to proceed.

"UNISTAR has been around for a long, long time," she began, "they have holdings in every imaginable business you could think of. They trade in most minerals, especially dilithium and trilithium because the mark up is so high and there is an automatic market for it with Starfleet and any other space-faring planet. I imagine Dekker became involved with them when he meteorically rose in the IOG starting about twenty years ago."

"What's all this have to do with Franks then?" Onizuka asked, rubbing his chin, his expression puzzled.

"Dekker probably recognized a kindred spirit in Franks, or at least someone who would do anything for money, and brought him in on the game at some point after Franks became second in command of the IOG."

She turned to Selek who nodded his agreement.

"Okay," Onizuka said, still looking confused. "What does that have to do with us and M'Qtobau and this other company?"

"The one mineral UNISTAR doesn't deal in is Aluminum-29. It's extremely difficult to mine and takes a lot of specialized equipment. Not something UNISTAR is typically interested in, since they prefer the quick rape of a planet rather than a long invasion," Marissa continued with an angry expression. "And M'Qtobau is rich in Aluminium-29. M'Qtobau is probably the richest planet discovered so far, but we only figured that out a few years ago. So Dekker, or someone in UNISTAR, recognizes the value of so much Aluminium-29 and Nyola brings SOLALCO to the party."

"They deal with Aluminium-29?" Scobee asked.

"Sol Aluminum Company," Marissa explained. "SOLALCO. They've cornered the market in our system, but don't really have a presence anywhere else. It's the perfect partnership, really. SOLALCO has the know-how and equipment. UNISTAR has the contacts and distribution system. And Dekker has connections to them both," she finished with a frown, glancing over at Jim grimly.

"And Franks and Dekker make a fortune," Scobee interjected.

"Exactly," Jim agreed.

"I must say, Lieutenant O'Donnell, you put that together extremely fast," Selek said with a quirk of his lips. "I am indeed impressed."

"Thank you, Ambassador," Marissa responded dryly, though her lips quirked up too. "I have been watching them for years now."

"I so want to be you when I grow up," Resnik whispered, startling Marissa and making her laugh.

"I still don't get what this has to do with us," Onizuka chimed in.

Marissa shrugged, her eyes on Jim. "I think it was partly stupid luck and partly Franks and Dekker trying to get even with me and Jim – the Captain."

Jim nodded. "There is a definite possibility of a personal vendetta against you, me or both of us, but the evidence – at this time – is inconclusive."

"And the Federation is letting them get away with this?" Scobee asked indignantly.

"So it appears, Ensign," Selek answered. "As I mentioned previously, Admiral Dekker was cautioned by the President shortly before the convention on Stratnon, but UNISTAR is a powerful company. By now it is safe to assume that they consider themselves above such personages as the President of the Federation. Your depositions will be among the first corroborating evidence submitted in this investigation. It is vital that you omit nothing." Finished, Selek looked over to Jim, indicating the end of his comments.

"Thank you, Ambassador," Jim looked down the table. "The Federation Attorney General himself is coming to Galdonterre to meet with you. He is bringing along Admiral Pike, who has been leading the investigation from Starfleet's side for many months, as well as Ambassador Sarek, and several Deputy Attorney Generals. The _Enterprise _is running silent at the moment on the President's orders so that your recovery and rescue will not be known prior to our arrival there." He looked at each away team member and gave them an apologetic smile.

"If you've tried to comm. anyone since your return you've found a comment on your screens explaining a malfunction in the subspace transmitter array. It's a sham," he admitted. "But once again, it was on the orders of President Okata. During our investigation into why you were really sent to M'Qtobau and what was going on there, we think we found some 'spies' - for lack of a better term – on board the _Enterprise_. We don't want them spreading the word that you five are alive and are coming to present your evidence. We are hoping that your presence there will be the 'nail in the coffin' in the case against Dekker and Franks. As of the last transmission we received from Admiral Pike, neither man knows the real reason they are being called to Galdonterre and we want to keep it that way," he added with a predatory grin.

"The secrecy surrounding your arrival," Spock continued for the captain, "is such that those of us involved – everyone in this room currently – will be transferred directly from the ship's cargo area to the cargo dock on the spaceport."

"We'll be treated like cargo," Jim added with a chuckle. "I realize this might seem like a high level of secrecy and intrigue, but it is best to be cautious and we don't want to tip the Attorney General's hand, now do we?"

"Presumably we will all be questioned," Spock told them. "Not only the away team members, but Ambassador Selek, Captain Kirk, Dr. McCoy, Lieutenant Uhura and myself, as well, since we had all been searching for an explanation for your…disappearance."

"Lastly, and maybe more importantly," Jim said with a grin. "You will all have ample opportunity for shore leave and the rotation roster for your shipmates will be posted as usual. You'll be able to shop and relax in between the interviews and after they are finished. Now, are there any questions?"

"Sir," Scobee spoke up, shaking his head slowly. "We really don't know very much. We were inside a mountain practically the whole time."

"Yes," Jim answered him, "but before that you were in the cities. You spoke with some of the people and you observed the situation on the planet – even if you didn't think about it consciously as gathering evidence. That is what you will be asked about – what you saw and learned. This isn't a test," he smiled. "There are no right or wrong answers. Just tell them what you saw and let the attorneys figure everything else out."

Jim looked across the table, meeting each away team member's gaze with a proud smile. "Plus," he continued, "when you were in hiding you worked alongside the M'Qtobauans who were trying to free their planet from the influence of UNISTAR and the government they'd help set up. Ranoyl and Ambassador Boyarsky were quite complimentary of all of your skills and actions."

He turned to Roth. "Lieutenant, they specifically mentioned your strategic knowledge and the skill with which you devised and coordinated the guerilla raids that you led. They were pretty much in awe of you," he added with a wry smile. "You showed yourself to be an exemplary Starfleet officer and we're lucky to have you on board."

"Thank you, sir," Roth responded, his color a bit high, but his face remained impassive, even though the rest of the away team was grinning widely at him.

"Ensign Onizuka and Lieutenant Resnik," Jim's gaze moved across the table. "They spoke with the highest praise of your abilities with the communications array and how creative you were in designing a system using little more than rocks and twigs."

"We had more than that, sir," Onizuka muttered, his face bright red.

"But not much more," Jim conceded. "You improvised and showed just why Starfleet is lucky to have you both in its ranks. Ensign Scobee," he continued, looking down the table where Scobee was currently sitting ramrod straight, his cheeks already red. "Your marksmanship, knowledge of armaments, leadership abilities and, I quote, 'air of command,' kept the refugees organized and working efficiently. And your fishing skills made the difference between starvation and having enough sustenance to survive until help arrived. I have every confidence that you will go far in Starfleet," Jim told him. "In fact, if you don't have your own ship eventually I am going to be sorely disappointed."

"Yes sir," Scobee replied. Marissa patted his hand, a grin on her face at his discomfort.

"And Lieutenant O'Donnell," Jim looked over at her with a raised eyebrow. He might be biased, but he was still her captain and proud of what she had accomplished. "Your knowledge of history and politics enabled you to use the videos and audio recordings to influence the entire population of the planet, something which impressed the Ambassador greatly. Given what you had to work with that was no small feat."

"Thank you, sir," Marissa responded politely. She glared over at Judith who was silently laughing at her discomfort.

"What you experienced will be absolutely vital," Jim told them all. "Just answer the questions honestly and tell them what you know." He paused for a moment, letting his words sink in. "Any other questions?"

Resnik gave him a chagrinned smile. "I have one more."

"Shoot," Jim told her.

"Will we be reinstated before our arrival at Galdonterre, sir? Without our ID chips we'll not be able to do any shopping and I've heard it's a great place for that."

Everyone chuckled and Marissa quipped, "More shoes, Judith? How many pairs is it now?"

Resnik stuck out her tongue, but laughed along with the others.

"Lieutenant," Spock answered at Jim's nod. "I believe Admiral Pike has completely accounted for you and will confirm your reinstatement prior to your interview with the legal personnel. Your uniform over-shirts will be awaiting you following that formality, so wearing the remainder of your uniform would be prudent when we proceed to the base. Also, the salary you accrued since your mission to M'Qtobau will be credited to your account and you will be issued new ID chips."

"Do you have any idea, sir, of the charges that will be leveled at Dekker and Franks," Scobee asked.

"No," Jim shook his head. "We don't know that any formal charges will be filed, but given the information we gathered from on board the ship, plus the efforts on our behalf by Ambassadors Selek and Sarek, I've been reliably informed that there is enough evidence to bring about a definite change in their lives."

"Any thing else?" Jim asked. There was silence. "I don't believe I need to tell you that these matters need to be kept among ourselves until after the interviews are complete, at least. It may be possible that you won't be able to speak about this at all. Understood?"

There were murmurs of "yes, sir," and "of course, sir," from around the table.

"Good," Jim smiled. "I don't think I can say this enough, but I'm very glad to have all of you back on the _Enterprise_. And if you will permit me to make a personal comment, speaking as Marissa's partner and, as soon as we can make it happen, her husband, I want to express my overwhelming gratitude for taking such good care of my girl and getting her back to me. It's paltry thanks, but it is sincere."

Scobee nudged Marissa playfully, chuckling at her blush.

"We may have been her security team," Onizuka grinned, winking at Marissa, "but she did her own share of taking care of us and keeping up morale. Right little drill instructor she can be when she wants something done."

"Thanks," Marissa laughed uncomfortably. "It was a team effort."

"It was," Resnik agreed.

"Well, I'm thankful for it – and all of you," Jim told them sincerely. "You are all dismissed. Mr. Spock will contact you when it's time to head over. We'll meet in the main cargo bay."

As a group they stood to leave. Jim circled around the table to Marissa's position and began to pull her in for a hug when Scobee cleared his throat. He was still standing behind his chair. "Sir, may I have a moment?" he asked.

"Of course, Ensign," Jim nodded. He looked down at Marissa with a little smile that seemed to say, 'I'm the captain – what can I do?' "I'll see you in a bit then," he said, squeezing her hand briefly.

"Sir," Scobee spoke up before Marissa could turn away. "She can stay – if that's okay with you. She knows what I want to ask," he explained, grinning at Marissa who grinned back while she threaded her arm though Jim's. "I've asked Ensign Jamieson to marry me, as you know. When we landed on the hanger deck and I saw her in the crowd I knew what I wanted to say to her."

"I noticed," Jim smiled. "I think everyone in the hangar did."

"Well, I was lucky she said yes," Scobee blushed. "We'd like to be married on the ship and we'd like for you to conduct the service, sir."

This time it was Jim who looked flustered. "Well, that's…that's great. I haven't had the chance, I mean…sure, of course I'll do it. She and I talked a few times while you were gone," Jim told the other man. "She's a wonderful woman. You're lucky to have each other. So, congratulations, and of course I'll be glad to marry you. It will be my first one, so I'm going to ask for forgiveness in advance – just in case I mess something up."

"Well," Marissa interjected, "if Pa Pa Pike is meeting us there, maybe he can marry us, you know, give you a chance to hear a real ceremony, and then you can marry Dick and Mae. What do you think?"

"I think you're brilliant," Jim smiled down at her. "If Scobee here doesn't mind us going first?" he looked questioningly over at the ensign.

"Not at all, sir," he replied instantly. "You did ask first, after all."

"Well, kind of," Marissa quipped.

"Hey!" Jim frowned playfully down at Marissa, before turning back to Scobee. "Talk to Yeoman Rand. She's the coordinator of any sort of gathering like you must want. She and I will figure things out on our end and we'll go from there. Honestly, I think we'll be on base for at least a week."

"Good to know, sir," Scobee replied. "And thanks."

"And just think, Dick," Marissa commented, "if you get married while we're docked at Galdonterre, you can have a honeymoon stay on the base. That will give you a nice change from your quarters on board and start things off right."

"Is that a hint?" Jim asked, gazing down at her with both his eyebrows raised.

"As if Abby would let us be away from her over night," she scoffed. "Our honeymoon is going to have to wait until this one is born," she told him, rubbing her hand over her belly, "and at least six months old. You have time to plan, don't worry."

"Well, that's a relief," Jim commented wryly.

"That's a great idea, Marissa," Scobee laughed as he leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek. "I'm sure Mae would like it. I think I'll go to the library and start doing a bit of research. And I need to find a jewelry store. Just don't let her see your rock until she picks something out for herself, okay? I'm only a lowly ensign. I can't compete with the captain," he added playfully as he exited the room.

When they were finally alone, Jim reached down and took her left hand in his, looking at the 'rock' on her finger. "So, Pike on Galdonterre?" he asked.

"Yes," she agreed. "I can think of no one better, and…I really don't want to wait."

Jim smiled softly. "I can deal with that," he said softly before he kissed her, wrapping his arms around her and not letting go for a long time.

_Please review_

_Once again folks, a lot of this chapter is by Royalpinkdogs. She gave me the bones and I played around with them. I don't know what I'd do without her._


	14. Chapter 14

Marissa lay curled contentedly against Jim's side, her body languorous from Jim's attentions. Although her mind was finally calm, it was still spinning sluggishly from everything that had happened during the day. It had started in Jim's ready room, then moved to Galdonterre where the away team had finally been reinstated and, surprisingly, promoted one rank by Admiral Pike and then awarded the Palm Leaf of M'Qtobau Award for their assistance and personal sacrifice in the aiding of the people of M'Qtobau.

She was now a Lieutenant Commander with two prestigious commendations to her name. It almost made up for the fact that she and the others had spent over eight hours being questioned by various members of the Federation Attorney General's office. It hadn't been a pleasant experience; more boring and tedious than anything else.

Jim and Ambassador Selek had given them some details on what was going on, but from the way she was questioned and the many and varied topics on which they questioned her, then limiting the responses she could give, she was at a loss as to what angle the prosecutors were going for. It was becoming more apparent that she and the away team had only been pawns in all of the shenanigans and their testimony was obviously just one small piece of a much larger puzzle.

It was funny how the interweaving of politics fascinated her when it came to other planets and species, but to be right in the middle of said political maneuvering was throwing her off balance.

"I am obviously failing at my job," Jim said wryly, interrupting her thoughts.

"Huh?" she looked up at him curiously.

He smiled down at her. Turning onto his side, he pulled her into his arms, resting his chin on her head. "I can hear you thinking. Wasn't two orgasms good enough for you?"

She chuckled against his chest. "Well, you're not exactly out for the count either," she pointed out. "After that performance I'd expect you to be snoring away by now."

"I don't snore," Jim stated.

"Keep telling yourself that, sweetie," Marissa patted him condescendingly. "It's not a reflection on you, I promise. It's just been a really long, weird day and I'm still processing."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. He hadn't officially been interrogated; though the process the away team endured wasn't technically an interrogation, it had felt like it. But Jim had been in various meetings all day with different Admirals and attorneys for the Federation. Added to that were the many details he and Spock still had to manage to maintain a starship in prime condition as well as all supply and repair issues that had to be coordinated with the base. "It's been a long day."

Marissa nodded, burrowing closer to Jim. "Still, I'd rather get it done in one long day than have it spread out over the week. It's harder on me, but easier on Abby."

"True," Jim agreed with a big yawn. "She was wound pretty tight after dinner. Even good ol' Pasha was losing his magic touch."

"Sulu couldn't get away fast enough," Marissa chuckled quietly. "Poor man. At least she's warmed up to him. He tries so hard."

"But he'll never be as well loved as her Pasha," Jim commented. They were all slightly mystified at how possessive Abby was of Chekov, and had been since first laying eyes on him as a newborn. Abby had latched onto Chekov and was quite intolerant about sharing him.

"It sounded like they had a good day, though."

"Busy," Jim agreed. "All three of them looked exhausted at dinner."

"I thought Pavel was going to fall asleep before dinner arrived," Marissa laughed lightly. "At least we'll get to keep her with us tomorrow."

"Yeah," Jim agreed. "That was one thing I was adamant about with Pike. She's been through enough and is still getting used to things. She doesn't need any more turmoil in her life. If they need either of us again over the next few days they have to coordinate it so one of us can be with Abby."

"You are a wonderful father," Marissa pressed a kiss to Jim's chest over his heart.

"Pike was totally on board with it," Jim replied, ducking her compliment. "He agreed it really wasn't too much to ask."

They laid there silently for a few minutes longer, just enjoying the closeness of being together after a long day. It was still a novelty. Since Marissa had returned almost six days ago, today had been the longest they'd been apart due to all the questioning. It had been stressful, but they'd survived.

"I wish I'd had a camera when Franks and Dekker walked into the room," Marissa said suddenly, a wide smile on her face.

"It was priceless," Jim agreed. "They didn't have a clue. I loved seeing them squirm after everything they put us through."

"Yes," Marissa agreed.

It had been right before lunch when Franks and Dekker had been escorted into the main conference room where everyone had been waiting for food to arrive. Marissa had officially given her statement of the away mission – it had only taken three and a half hours – and was scheduled for further questioning by a panel of attorneys, Admirals Pike and Barnett and Commodore Bachelli after lunch.

From their stunned expressions, Franks and Dekker hadn't had a clue what they were walking into. She had no idea what story they'd been told, but the minute they'd set eyes on her sitting at one of the tables with Jim and Chris Pike, Franks had turned as pale as if he'd seen a ghost and Dekker had gone white and then bright red. She doubted that either man was good at poker, which really was surprising. Their obvious reactions had caused Pike to smirk in his seat next to Jim. The Attorney General and his minions had also been in the room and had noted the Admiral's reactions.

"It really wasn't nice of you to bait them," Marissa commented. She was having trouble at repressing her grin. She thought Dekker's head was going to explode, he'd turned so red as he stared at them, his mouth open.

"I only said hello," Jim said demurely.

Marissa snorted. Sure, he'd only said hello, and then shared the good news of the return of the M'Qtobau away team to the Starfleet fold. "Chris was particularly gleeful at dinner."

"Can you blame him?" Jim asked. "He's been working on this almost since he became an admiral."

Marissa shook her head minutely. It was just sad that things had taken so long to come to this. She understood that proper procedure had to be followed and all that, but three years was a long time. Luckily no Federation lives were lost on M'Qtobau, although an entire population of a city had been killed. She hated thinking of the planets and people that might have suffered, or were currently suffering, because of Dekker's collusion with UNISTAR. M'Qtobau and their away mission was just what brought everything to a head.

"All right," Jim rolled Marissa onto her back.

"What?" she asked, her legs widening to accept Jim's weight against her.

Jim leaned down and kissed her. "You're frowning and worrying about everything Dekker and Franks and UNISTAR did while the investigation was going on."

"Well, duh," she gave him an incredulous look. "If they've known all along…"

"But they didn't," Jim interrupted her. "I don't know a lot, but I do know that the investigation was begun because someone figured out that someone within Starfleet was feeding UNISTAR information. It took awhile to ferret out that it was Dekker. If this is really going to do any good, they had to make sure they did it right."

"But all the people…"

"No," Jim leaned down to kiss her again. "We are not going to worry about that right now. There's nothing you can do, Mariss," he said with an understanding look.

"I know," she admitted.

"Good," Jim smiled at her. "Now since round one didn't knock you out, I guess it's time for round two."

Marissa gave him a mock-disbelieving look. "Are you sure you're up for it?" she teased.

Jim rocked against her. "Pretty sure," he smiled as he leaned down to kiss her.

"Oh, good," Marissa grinned against his lips before opening them to his kiss. "Let's see what you can do. I'm not feeling sleepy at all."

Jim chuckled and then proceeded to wear her out to the best of his ability.

A few hours later Jim was awakened by the absence of Marissa. She wasn't in his arms or cuddled up against him, nor was she burrowed into the blankets. The lights weren't shining beneath the bathroom door and he couldn't hear any soft murmuring in the direction of Abby's room. Knowing there was no way he'd sleep without her beside him, Jim got up to look for her. She couldn't have gone far and a part of him worried that something might be wrong. She had nightmares and he knew that she didn't want to bother him with them. What she didn't seem to comprehend was that he wasn't bothered by them at all, he just wanted to be there for her.

He found her at the communications console in the living area of their hotel suite. She was looking at a chrono calculator for Earth times. His bare-foot approach went unheard as he padded up behind her, so when he placed a hand on her shoulder she shrieked.

"Shhhhhh," he admonished in a quiet voice, unable to hide a small smile, "You'll wake Abby."

"Damn it, Jim! You scared the shit out of me," she glared at him, slapping at his thigh. "Don't do that!"

His smile faded away. "What's wrong, Mariss? Why are you sitting out here in the dark?"

She sighed, drawing her legs up on the chair and resting her chin on her knees. Jim kneeled down beside her, one arm resting on the chair behind her head and the other on her sock-clad feet.

"It's the middle of the night in Colorado," she told him. "I woke up and realized that I hadn't commed my family and I…I really want to talk to them. And I can't because it's so late. I should have commed them after dinner, but you and your bedroom eyes distracted me," she told him wryly, leaning into his chest. "Now I have to wait until morning."

Jim looked at her woebegone expression and stood up. He easily lifted her into his arms, sat in the chair, and then leaned forward to activate the comm.. "No, we don't have to wait," he told her, already typing in the proper numbers. It was nice having a near perfect memory.

"Jim, we can't just comm them now," Marissa automatically protested, but she made no move to stop him. "It's four in the morning there!"

"Well it's three in the morning here," he countered, "and it's not like you're going to sleep if we wait." She made another noise of protest and Jim narrowed his eyes at her to stop her. "Mariss, if Abby were missing and you got a good news comm. in the middle of the night, would you be happy or mad?"

She glared at him for a moment, then her shoulders sagged as she agreed. "You're right, of course, but…" she started wringing her hands, a worried expression on her face. "You…can you talk first? If dad picks up I don't know…and he'll have a stroke…"

Jim gave her a swift kiss. "You're babbling. I'll talk first if it makes you feel better. Though I don't think your dad will be that thrilled to see me."

"Oh!" She looked at him with wide eyes, her face starting to flush as she frowned. "I forgot."

Jim looked at her questioningly, taking her hands in his to stop her from squeezing them to death. "What?"

She shook her head slowly. "I forgot…what he did," she told him. "I just woke up and I wanted to talk to Nana – and Nancy. I didn't really think of dad in particular, just all of them and letting them know that I'm fine. But now…"

Seeing the anger and frustration in her eyes, Jim was sorry he'd said anything. He gently rubbed her back as she leaned against him. "What are you going to say to him?" he finally asked.

"I don't know," Marissa shrugged. "I'm sure I'll think of something." She stood up from Jim's lap and started pacing in front of him.

"Mariss," Jim said softly, reaching out for her hand as she passed him. "Don't be mad; you shouldn't be angry with him for the custody suit."

She looked at him incredulously. "The hell I can't, Jim! It's late and it may have slipped my mind, but he tried to take Abby away from you; away from the only parent she had. He had to know it wasn't what I would want. That it wasn't what was best for Abby and yet he…"

"Mariss," Jim stood up and wrapped her into his arms, holding her close and rocking slightly. "I honestly think he was being influenced. I'm pretty sure that it was just one more trick that Dekker and Franks were trying to pull in order to get more dirt on me – to get me to give up the _Enterprise_ or to get information to take it away. The head of the JAG is an old buddy of Franks' and my lawyer told me he had showed a particular interest in my case – above what he usually showed for similar cases."

He calmly stroked her cheek, smiling gently down at her. "I think your dad was another pawn in their huge game."

"Really?" she asked, a shimmer of hope in her eyes.

"Yeah," Jim nodded. "He's not my favorite person in the universe, but yeah, I think someone was just messing with him to get to me, so go easy on him, okay?"

"But he still…"

"No, Mariss," Jim stopped her from protesting. "He was grief stricken; totally wrecked by your death. Give him the benefit of the doubt, okay? Besides, he's your _dad_. He loves you; and he loves Abby. I don't doubt that."

She shook her head wryly and smiled at him before pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "You are too good to be true, Jim Kirk. Is there any question why I love you so much?"

"Of course not," Jim grinned at her. "You're a smart woman with great taste." He winked playfully and kissed her, but then pulled back, a serious look on his face. "He's your dad, Mariss and he loves you."

"I know," Marissa sighed, frowning slightly. "It's just…we haven't always gotten along, you know?"

"I know," Jim nodded. "But he's still your dad."

They might have stood there holding each other for a while longer, but a cry from Abby suddenly rent the quiet night and sent them both running to her room. The garbled cries that might have been for her mama and dada alarmed them both as they entered her room.

"Lights forty percent," Jim called out automatically. She'd kicked off her blankets, as usual, but instead of being curled up on her side or tummy, she was on her back, her eyes wide open as she continued to cry, her face red and sweaty. She didn't even seem to register their presence above her as Jim leaned in to pick her up.

"Hey, baby girl," Jim whispered as gathered her in his arms and held her close. "Dada's here. Mama's here. Sssshhhhh, it's okay, baby girl. Sssshhhhhhh." She continued to cry and mumble their names, not aware of them at all.

Her muttering gradually changed to, "Mama no go. Dada no go. No weave. No weave," her face rubbing against Jim's shoulder.

Marissa pressed herself against Jim, her arms around Abby and her face against Jim's shoulder so that she was face to face with Abby, her hand running over the little girl's back soothingly.

"Abby, shhh," she sing-songed. "Mama and dada are right here, baby girl. Did you have a bad dream?" She continued to stroke Abby's back, running her hands through her sweaty hair, trying to gently wake her up, repeating the soothing words. Though her eyes were open, it was obvious that Abby wasn't truly awake.

"No go, no weave. No go, no weave," Abby chanted.

Marissa swallowed heavily, her eyes misting at Abby's distress. "No one is leaving, baby," she said thickly. "Mama and dada are right here with you and we're not going to leave our Abby girl."

Jim was pressing kisses to Abby's head, murmuring to her as he rocked her in his arms. They both continued their reassurances that Abby would not be alone and eventually the sobs and tears slowed and then stopped.

"Mama?" Abby asked, her eyes finally focused and seeing Marissa inches away from her.

"Yes, baby girl," Marissa replied with a relieved smile. "I'm right here."

Abby pulled back slightly. "Dada?" she looked over at Jim.

"Right here, Munchkin," he told her with a shaky smile.

She rested her head back on his shoulder, reaching out touch her mother's face. Marrissa took the little hand, kissing it before playing her fingers across the child's head and caressing her cheek.

"Do you want a drink of juice, baby girl?" Marissa asked gently.

Abby nodded, burrowing her face under Jim's chin and grabbing his collar. "Yes, pweese."

"Okay," Marissa smiled. "Dada, why don't you change Abby into some new jammies and I'll go get us all some juice. Sound good?"

"Sounds good, right Abby?" Jim prodded, waiting for her to nod in agreement. "Abby girl and I will meet you in the living room, mama. Is that okay, Abby?" Receiving a nod, Jim hugged her and Marissa kissed her forehead.

Within a few minutes, Jim was back in the living room with Abby in a new pair of pink pajamas sipping her juice on his lap, her eyes partially closed.

"Well that was fun," Marissa commented, looking at Jim with a morose expression.

Hearing her mother's voice, Abby began to squirm in Jim's arms, reaching out for Marissa. Jim easily transferred the sleepy child to Marissa's lap, where she sipped her juice, and then pulled them both into his arms.

"It's not surprising," he responded, placing a kiss to Marissa's head. "It was a long day for all of us and I know she had fun with Chekov, but it was still a long time away from us."

"Pasha?" Abby perked up briefly.

"Pasha's sleeping," Marissa told her with a fond smile. "You can see him tomorrow if you want, baby girl. Does that sound like fun?"

Abby was quiet for a moment. Marissa thought she'd fallen asleep, but then she shook her little head. "Sta' wif mama 'n dada."

Marissa's breath hitched as she looked over at Jim.

"I think that's an excellent idea," Jim told her. "Abby and mama and dada will stay together all day tomorrow. Maybe Pasha and Sulu and Pa Pa can meet us for lunch."

"'n Sel-lek?" she asked hopefully.

"If he's not too busy," Jim smiled.

"Otay."

They sat there quietly on the couch until Abby finally dozed off, her face pressed into Marissa's chest, little whistling noises coming from her nose. Jim carefully moved away and then reached for her. "Let me put her to bed and we can place that call."

"Okay," Marissa agreed, handing over Abby. "I probably won't be able to sleep now, so we might as well get this over with. You'll talk first, right?"

"Yes," Jim told her.

Abby went down easily and soon Jim was back sitting in front of the console typing in the necessary contact numbers. The connection was almost instantaneous, but it took several rings before the comm. was answered by a sleepy, yet alarmed looking Nancy.

"Hello, this is Nancy O'Donnell," she said automatically, her eyes squinting blearily at the screen. "Jim?" she asked in astonishment.

"Yes, it's me, Mrs. O'Donnell," Jim smiled at her. Marissa was standing to his side, just out of view of the camera, her hand squeezing his. "I know it's early and this isn't the best time, but it's important. Really important. Can you get Mr. O'Donnell, please?"

"Is it…is Abby okay?" Nancy demanded, her hand coming up to grasp her robe tightly to her neck in fear. "Did something happen? Did…"

"Abby's fine," Jim interrupted her immediately. "She's asleep right now, but she's just fine. Can you wake up Mr. O'Donnell and then I'll explain everything."

Nancy relaxed her grip, her robe loosening. "He's not…" she fumbled, looking uncomfortable. "He, well, he…" she glanced over her shoulder. "Oh, Rose. Good. You're here." Nancy stood up and Nana Rose took her seat. Pulling up another chair, both women's faces filled the screen. Marissa gave a hiccoughing sob at the sight and Jim smiled over at her reassuringly.

"What are you doing comming us at this hour, son?" Nana Rose demanded, getting right to the point. "It's not even close to sunrise yet."

"I know, ma'am," Jim said unapologetically, "but I have some news that can't wait any longer. Where's Mr. O'Donnell?"

Nancy sat forward expectantly as Nana Rose frowned at the screen. "He's not here right now, but what is it? Can you tell us?" Nancy asked.

Jim nodded. "Of course. I'm glad you're sitting down because this is going to be a shock," he warned them. Seeing Nancy start to tense up again, Jim carried on, "It's good news, though, even if it will be surprising."

"Get on with it, boy!" Nana Rose admonished him, causing Marissa to giggle. The microphone must have picked it up because Nana's head cocked curiously as she searched the screen.

Tugging at her hand, Jim pulled Marissa onto his lap. "We found Marissa," he told them, his smile stretching across his face almost painfully as he watched the dumbfounded expression on their faces. "She's fine and she's right here."

Marissa waved at them, the tears already running down her face even as she smiled.

"Hi, Nana. Hi, Nancy. I'm here and I'm fine. It's so good to see you!" she told them.

The completely frozen facial expressions of shock on both women lasted perhaps ten seconds, then Nana let out a whoop of joy. Nancy stared at the screen silently, her hands now pressed against her mouth, but it was obvious that she was smiling through the tears streaming down her face.

"Marissa! Darling!" Nana began speaking, one hand reaching out to touch the vid screen. "Oh, my little lamb," her voice broke even as her smile widened. "This is so wonderful. Oh my lord…"

"Honey," Nancy spoke, her arm around Nana as the other woman began to sob and laugh. "I can't believe it. This is marvelous! Are you okay? What happened? How…" she too trailed off as her tears overwhelmed her.

Marissa tried to explain, but in reality could only smile and laugh along with them, her relief at seeing them more than she would have thought.

Jim tried to speak, but realized that no one was really listening, so he sat back and held Marissa, offering her tissues.

"What's going on?" a voice came from off camera. "Why are you crying and laughing."

"Oh honey!" Nancy turned in her chair and pulled a tousled young girl into her lap. "Marissa's alive. Captain Kirk found her!" she declared.

"Hey Maddy," Marissa waved at her step-sister.

"'Rissa?" she stared, her mouth hanging open comically.

"It's me," Marissa told her with a laugh. "And you look like you've grown since I last saw you."

"Oh my god!" Maddy shrieked. "I gotta go get Mel and Jake!" Like a shot she was off Nancy's lap. They could hear her yelling as she went to wake up her siblings.

Soon Melanie, Maddy and Jake were crowded around Nancy and Nana, all vying to see Marissa and exclaim in surprise and wonder at her return from the dead. Finally, Marissa managed to find a break in all the paeans of glory and begin to answer their multitude of questions.

"Yes, I am alive," she told them wryly when Mel still seemed unable to believe it. "Jim found us and rescued us about five days ago. Our communications system was out, but we're on Starbase 23 right now, so I'm finally able to contact you."

"Sweetheart, it's so wonderful to see you," Nana said, shushing everyone around her. "But from the looks of you, you've lost a lot of weight. Are you sure you're okay?"

Marissa smiled at her fondly. "Nana, I'm fine. Doctor McCoy checked me out and everything," she reassured them. "Food was hard to find for a few weeks before Jim showed up, but I'm okay; everyone on the away team is okay."

"Thank God for that," Nancy interjected fervently. "But how did this happen? How come they thought you were dead and then suddenly you're alive?"

Marissa glanced over at Jim, realizing there was a lot that they couldn't tell her family. He gave her a reassuring squeeze. "It's a long story," she told them, "and I'm not sure we've reached the end of it yet. As soon as I can explain it all, I will. Where's dad?" she asked, when no one seemed likely to speak.

Nancy's smile dimmed and she took a deep breath, which gave Nana Rose the break she needed. "We threw that jackass out after we found out what he did to you, Captain," Nana told them with a fierce frown. "Trying to take Abby away from you right after she'd lost her mama," she shook her head. "That was inexcusable. We've locked him out and he's not welcome here any more." Her face was flushed with anger.

"Rose, calm down," Nancy said soothingly as she looked at the older woman worriedly. The relationship between mother and son had always been rocky, with a lot of verbal baiting, but there had always been love and affection underneath it all. From the set of her face it looked like Rose had reached her limit.

Nancy turned back to the screen, an apologetic look on her face. "I took the comm. when his lawyer reported that his suit for custody of Abby had been thrown out," she told them. "Until that moment I had no idea what was going on. Matthew had been extremely withdrawn; spending lots of time out of the house. We thought it was because of…well, you know," she shrugged. "But then that lawyer called."

She physically shuddered. "He was such a sleazebag! And when his astronomical bill came later that afternoon – that was it! I couldn't believe that Matthew would even think of taking Abby away from you, Captain. You're her father and she belongs with you. We love her dearly, but we're no substitute for her parents."

"Thank you," Jim said sincerely. "That…that means a lot. I had hoped…my lawyer never said anything about you or Nana Rose, so I thought it was only Mr. O'Donnell, but…"

"We'd never uproot that darling babe from her home," Nana Rose interjected, "and we knew that Marissa would haunt us from the beyond if we tried to hurt you like that."

"Damn right," Marissa murmured, pressing a kiss to Jim's cheek.

"It was strange though," Nancy continued. "The next day, after the phone call and the bill a representative from the Starfleet Judge Advocate's office knocked on the door and asked for the bill, saying we wouldn't have to pay it. That was a blessing. I did think that man was planning to retire on what he was asking."

"Matthew's such a skinflint," Nana chimed in. "We thought we should have made him pay the bill by doing hard labor. Matthew never has had much brain, and certainly no brawn."

"Nana!" Marissa shook her head. She was used to her grandmother and father picking on each other, but she didn't like seeing it done in front of the kids.

"Rose!" Nancy chastised her.

"I'm not sorry," Nana said stubbornly. "The man is my son and I love him, but he does have his shortcomings."

"Do you know where he found his lawyer, that Mr. Smee?" Jim interjected.

"Well, Matthew claims the lawyer contacted him and that it was all his idea, but when does that ever happen?" she asked disdainfully.

Marissa decided to change the topic. "Nancy, have the boxes of my things arrived yet?"

She looked surprised at the question. "Boxes? No, no boxes. What do you mean?" she queried.

"Why would we get any boxes?" Nana Rose asked.

"I was sent a list by Mr. O'Donnell's lawyer," Jim explained to her. "I had to send everything that Marissa brought onto the _Enterprise_ or bought while she was deployed. I didn't want to, but my lawyer advised me to follow through in order to show the court that I was willing to compromise. I wanted Abby and it seemed a small price to pay." He shrugged, an uncomfortable expression on his face as he hugged Marissa close.

"Nana," Marissa spoke up, "dad asked for the quilt you made for me. It was just about the first thing I missed when I looked around our quarters when I got back. That and all my clothes! The only things I have, aside from uniforms, are scrubs, sweats and Jim's old Academy shirts. We're doing a major shopping expedition later while we're here, but I still want my things back. A lot of the items I purchased from the planets we visited were included in the list."

"That moron," Nana Rose scowled. "What would he do with your quilt? Probably leave it in the damn box, that's what! Abby should have had that, and all your things, just like you had the things that had been your mother's." She shook her head sadly, probably thinking of a younger, motherless Marissa playing dress up in her mother's old clothes.

"Oh, Marissa, honey, it's so wonderful to know you're still here and your baby won't grow up with out you," she spoke, her voice trembling. "Oh, baby, I…" she trailed off as she once again dissolved into tears.

Nancy put her arms around her mother-in-law, but kept her gaze on the vidscreen. There were tears in her eyes, too. "You were definitely missed, honey. And we're so grateful that you're back and that Abby will have her mother. This is certainly a miracle. Thank you, captain, for finding our girl and making her safe once more."

Jim nodded, clearing his throat as he leaned into Marissa. "You're welcome, though I have to admit it was totally selfish on my part. My life…it just wasn't the same without her and I really wasn't sure if it was worth living," he admitted, feeling Marissa stiffen in shock at his words. "If it hadn't been for Abby…" he shrugged uncomfortably.

"You love our girl," Nana stated.

"I do," Jim agreed. "More than I can ever tell her. I am thankful with every breath I take that she's back in my arms." Marissa pressed a kiss to his cheek and smiled up at him, gently wiping away her tears.

"Nana, Nancy, kids," Marissa turned back to their audience. We have some other news to tell you," she said with a brilliant smile. "First, we're getting married." She held up her left hand to display her ring. Once again peals of joy and delight echoed through the comm.'s speakers. "And," Marissa smiled at Jim, her hand coming to rest over his on her belly, "we're going to have another baby. He's due in May."

Marissa's step-sisters squealed in delight and even Jake's smile was pretty wide. Nana Rose and Nancy were once again in raptures of joy at the news.

"You'll be marrying soon, I'm guessing," Nana smiled fondly at her granddaughter.

Marissa nodded, her smile fading slightly. "Here on base. As soon as we can manage it. I'm sorry. I know you want to…"

"Nonsense," Nana Rose interrupted her. "I want you to be happy and obviously your captain makes you happy. You need to marry him before the little one arrives and I imagine he's chomping to make you his – officially."

"That I am," Jim agreed. "We could maybe postpone it for…."

"No," Nana Rose told him adamantly. "I don't know where this star base is, but I don't think I'll be going into space any more. Just knowing that you two are married and happy; that's enough for me."

"But send lots of pictures and vids," Nancy chimed in. "We only want to see you happy, honey. Don't hold off on our account. Life is way too short for that. You never know what might happen."

"True," Marissa agreed with a small frown. "Nancy, how can I get in touch with dad?" she asked hesitantly. "I'm not exactly happy with him and I…I really need to talk to him about everything that happened; about what he did."

"I'll bet you do, honey," Nana Rose bristled, but Nancy laid a calming hand on the older woman's arm and shook her head. "The idiot deserves to squirm," Nana insisted. "Don't you forgive too soon, you hear me? He doesn't deserve it!"

"Now Rose," Nancy said calmly, trying to defend her husband at least a little. "He was crushed when we first got the news. All of us were. But I'm not sure he was thinking clearly for a while afterwards." She looked at the vidscreen apologetically. "If the lawyer did approach him and suggest the custody suit, I don't think he really understood what it actually meant to Abby and you, captain. He was just so shattered. We all were, 'Rissa," she said shakily, but then forced herself to smile. "But this is just the best news ever. I am so happy for you both. Getting married and having another baby. Abby will just love having a baby brother, I'm sure."

"We hope so," Jim said, Marissa was too busy wiping away her tears again. "We haven't even talked about telling her yet."

Nancy waved in dismissal. "I'm sure you've had other things on your mind. Once things settle and you can be a family again, then you can tell her."

The comm. beeped and a message displayed that they had only sixty seconds remaining.

"Dad?" Marissa questioned. "I really want to talk to him."

"I don't know where he is, honey," Nancy admitted. "He's been living elsewhere for about a month now. He usually tries to stop by or call, but we haven't heard from him all week. I'm sorry. I'll find him and have him contact the _Enterprise_, will that be all right?"

"That would be fine," Marissa told her. "I appreciate it. And please, don't let what he did to Abby and Jim affect your marriage. We all make mistakes and this is between dad and me."

Nancy frowned. "I wish it was that easy," she told Marissa sadly, and this time it was Nana Rose who placed a comforting hand on Nancy's arm. "But as bad as what he did to your captain, there are other things he needs to be thinking about if he wants to come home."

"Okay," Marissa nodded, bewildered, but not willing to ask questions.

"Mrs. O'Donnell," Jim spoke up. "I think after all this you can call me Jim," he told her with a smile.

"And you better call me Nancy," she smiled at him warmly.

Jim nodded. "Now, as much as I hate to end this comm. we have to go."

There were a profusion of 'I love yous' and promises to write and send vids and then the counter ticked down to zero and the transmission ended.

"Glad we commed?" Jim asked as Marissa sank tiredly against him.

"Yes," she nodded. "I do wish they could be at our wedding, but I really don't want to wait any more."

"I could see if Pike could arrange something," Jim told her. "It would still take a week or two, but we could schedule to meet them somewhere and…"

"No, Jim," Marissa interrupted him. "I don't want to wait. Nana and Nancy understand. I want you to be mine."

"I am," Jim told her with all sincerity.

"I know," she smiled at him. "But I want the universe to know it."

Jim grinned, but it soon faded. "Do you want a big announcement and all that…"

"I was being figurative," she shook her head. "I don't want to announce it to the press or stir up that hornets' nest, but those who are important to us will know. And if anything else should ever happen there won't be a doubt that I belong to you and you belong to me."

Jim leaned up and kissed her, his hands squeezing her waist as she sank against him. "I'll start arranging things with Pike tomorrow," he said. "Maybe we can have a planning dinner with him and the others – Bones, Spock, and Rand."

"Don't forget Nyota and Chekov and Sulu," Marissa added. "I think they deserve to be part of the wedding, too."

"They do," Jim agreed.

"I guess I'll ask Nyota to stand up with me," Marissa said thoughtfully. "And maybe Janice or Christine? I don't know. I imagine you'll want Len and Spock."

"Yeah," Jim nodded, "but let's not make any big decisions now. I'm tired and we only have an hour or two before Abby wakes up."

"True," Marissa yawned and then grinned sheepishly. "I think we'll all need a nap tomorrow. Maybe even two."

Jim stood up, cradling Marissa easily in his grip, and strode towards their bedroom. "We'll cross that bridge when we get there. For now, let's get what sleep we can."

Marissa sighed contentedly as he gently settled her on the bed and then climbed in next to her, pulling up the covers and curling his body around hers.

"I love you," Marissa told him.

"Love you, too," Jim responded.


	15. Chapter 15

**Author's note: **Thank you to everyone who reminded me that Sunday was coming and that it had been awhile since I posted. I needed the kick in the pants – and the guilt – and it got this chapter out that much sooner. This is unbeta'd because I finished it late last night and didn't give Royalpinkdogs enough time, so any mistakes are mine. Also, I have to thank my wonderful beta reader for this chapter. It's all RPD folks. She sent me an outline, she gave me the ideas. The last part – totally her idea, it hadn't even occurred to me! I just fleshed things out and added my own touches, but if it wasn't for her this chapter never would have been written.

So, thank you and many, many hugs to Royalpinkdogs for her poking, prodding and awesome ideas. She's going to make me finish this story whether I want to or not! And I promise, I do want to, I'm just being slow. And thank you to everyone who has PM'd me to remind me that I really need to post because Jim and Marissa really need to reach their 'completion.'

**Completion**

**Chapter 15**

The next day started slowly with Abby sleeping in much later than usual. Not surprising considering her night terror. She'd slept soundly through the early morning, prompting both Jim and Marissa to check on her as time passed and she remained asleep. Once she was awake she was her usual self, a bit cranky at first, but then bursting with energy once she'd eaten.

Jim spent the morning contacting Pike and Spock about wedding and ship's business while Marissa lounged in the living room reading through the news feeds, still trying to catch up with everything she had missed while she was gone.

By mid morning, Abby was ready to get out. Used to days filled with daycare and lots of activities, she didn't like being cooped up at all. And after running around the base all day the day before with Chekov and Sulu, she was more than ready to explore again. Jim could definitely sympathize. After a full day of meetings he was feeling cooped up too.

The Bazaar of Galdonterre suited the name. The more exotic, unusual, esoteric, eccentric and unique an object, the more likely it was to be found in the Bazaar. The clothing choices catered to bipeds, quadrupeds, and tentacled beings. The novelties and gifts attracted species with visual ranges from gamma rays to shortwave. And the entertainment satisfied the needs of every form of communication in the quadrant.

But the food…the food was the main attraction to many of those from the _Enterprise_. The food vendors originated from all segments of the galaxy. Klingon denebia quatlh min was listed alongside Cardassian larish pie; Ferengi lokar beans appeared on the same menu as Betazed Mantickian pate and azna, and bagels and lox were served not far from grits and fried green tomatoes.

If you couldn't find the thing you wanted at the Bazaar of Galdonterre, you were destined to be an unhappy person, no matter what. It far outshone Starbase 94 and even Stratnon, because while there was a large variety of food, delicacies and entertainment offered in both places, those other places still catered to bipeds, and terrans most especially. Galdonterre had a true galactic flavor.

The Kirk family, clothed in generic comfortable non-uniforms, set forth on a shopping adventure – one that Marissa was looking forward to with glee and Jim was willing to tolerate for the new experience. Abby wore a vest that fastened across her back with an attached cord that was held by a parent or supervisor. Sulu had picked it up the day before, saying that his sister swore by it and Chekov had agreed that it had come in handy at times.

Jim had scoffed at the idea of walking his daughter on a leash as if she were a dog, but when Marissa pointed out the advantages – Abby would be able to explore and see, but not wander too far away, she wouldn't need to have one hand held at all times, and she'd wear herself out fairly soon – aside from the obvious perk that neither parent would have to carry her ten kilos – Jim accepted the seemingly good sense of the device.

Being able to walk along like a big girl made Abby delirious with joy as they made their way from their rooms to the conduit that would take them to the Bazaar, but her attitude changed when they actually entered the outskirts. The miasma of colors, smells, sights and sounds were more than the toddler had encountered before, and she immediately turned to her father, trying to climb up his leg.

"Dada, cawwy!" she demanded, bouncing on her toes as her little fingers scrabbled at his trousers.

Jim gave Marissa an 'I-told-you-so' look and then leaned down to pick her up. "Okay, Abby girl, but only for a while. I'm pretty sure you're going to want to get down and explore pretty soon." Abby didn't respond, only leaned into him as one of her little hands grabbed his collar, her eyes wide as she tried to take in everything around her.

Taking Marissa's hand, Jim began to lead them into the Bazaar. Marissa's eyes were immediately caught by a shop featuring beautifully dyed and displayed fabrics with soft pastels next to vibrant colors and shimmering textures topped by filmy sheers. She couldn't help oohing and aahing over the gorgeous things she saw, running her hands over the folds and holding a few pieces up to her skin.

"Can we come back here?" she asked Jim hopefully. "Let's see what's available in the clothing stores, but I'd love to have a robe or jacket or something made out of this." She rubbed her fingers on the delphinium blue satin. "Or maybe for you, since it matches your eyes," she added playfully as she held it up against his face.

Jim smiled at her and nodded. "Of course, though I don't know how I'd feel wearing something so silky. You'd look good in that one," he pointed to a vibrant green.

"Hmmmm," Marissa said, draping the fabric over her shoulder. "Maybe. I'd like you wearing something this silky. It'd be fun to rub up against." She winked at him.

"Then by all means," Jim agreed, watching Marissa with heavy lidded eyes, even as he managed to keep Abby from pulling down a display. "I'm all for you rubbing against me."

"We're definitely coming back," Marissa nodded emphatically. "But let's see what else is available premade."

"Whatever you want Mariss," Jim said as he led them back onto the main pathway. "We're getting you a whole new wardrobe, after all." He glanced over his shoulder, his eyes absently scanning the crowd, and then back down at Marissa. "What?" he asked when he saw her shaking her head.

"That isn't necessary anymore," she told him. "Nancy and Nana will send me my stuff when they get it. I can get by with a few odds and ends until then. Besides, it will cost a fortune."

"Yeah, they're sending your stuff," Jim agreed, "but it could take months to catch up with us. Credits are not a problem, besides you're going to need maternity clothes soon, plus we need clothes for a boy."

"What? You don't think Tiberius will want to wear pink?" Marissa asked playfully.

Jim looked down at her with a quirky grin. "I know _Shea's_ daddy doesn't want him wearing pink. End of story."

"Oh Jim, don't be so archaic," Marissa scolded with a small smile. "You'd look good in pink. Though I must admit you look best in blue. Too bad command has to wear gold. I know!" she said dramatically. "You can change over to sciences. The blue tunics would look so much better on you."

"Ha, ha, double ha," Jim replied, turning and walking backwards for a moment. "With my luck I'd be assigned to medical. And we both know that would be a bad idea." He faced forwards as they both laughed at the idea.

A bit further down the walkway, with Abby offering a running commentary on everything she saw, the toddler decided she had seen enough from her high perch and wanted to walk on her own, so Jim set her down. Her pace definitely slowed them down a bit, but at least she travelled in a mostly straight line dictated by the other pedestrians and the size of the corridor.

She was the first to spy the dolls, arranged on a display at perfect young being height. The dolls represented just about every race and species in the Federation. Dropping Sehlat in her frenzy to get to the dolls, Abby first grabbed on Orion girl doll, complete with dancing veils, and then an Andorian male. Their green and blue bodies had attracted her, but it was the clothing they wore that made them outstanding. Each of the Orion's veils twinkled and glowed, refracting and reflecting the light rays that fell on it far more than normal woven matter could do. And the Andorian's suit was made of soft reflective fur that Abby couldn't seem to stop stroking. Abby was hooked.

"Mama!" she said gleefully. "Pwetty dollies. 'ook!"

Kneeling down to get the abandoned Sehlat, Marissa admired the vivid dolls with the child, but pointed out that she already had several dolls back on the ship. "And Abby, we've just started shopping. Why don't we go on and see what else there is and if you don't find anything else you want we can stop and buy them on the way home, okay?"

"Wan' dem," Abby said stubbornly, hugging them close as her lower lip began to pout and a mutinous look came into her eyes.

Jim rolled his eyes, taking in the staring contest between mother and daughter. Nodding to the shop keeper, he handed over his credit chip. "Yep, putting her on a leash was a great idea," he cajoled. "She can see things at her own level – great idea, that."

Tucking the chip back into his pocket, Jim helped Marissa stand, smiling as Abby hugged and kissed her new dolls.

"Okay, Mr. Know-it-all," Marissa responded playfully. "You carry her."

He didn't even get a chance to consider it for the lead to Abby's vest extended as she forged ahead to the next amazing wonder down the corridor, her initial hesitation completely forgotten.

Abby, of course, had something to say about everything she saw and their progress was slow, if thorough. At one point they even ran into Commodore Bachelli who was doing some shopping of her own. She admired Abby, who turned surprisingly shy and demanded to be in Jim's arms, but with carefully questioning by the commodore, eventually began chattering about her new dolls and all she'd seen.

After a few minutes they parted ways with the commodore and continued on with Abby in Jim's arms so they could actually accomplish something on the shopping excursion. They wandered down a side corridor that was mainly devoted to non-bipedal species. The displays seemed rather lackluster until they realized that the UV spectrum used was not visible to humans. After deciphering a sign, they turned down another corridor and eventually found the Federation personnel depot and were able to order a few new uniforms for Marissa, since the inventory was much greater than what was available from the ship's quartermaster.

The selection at these starbase depots was always better, and Marissa was ecstatic about being able to try on the skant with her new slender body, but the reality of needing a maternity uniform soon forced her to select a few tunics and pants to accommodate her growing baby bump. Because the selection was so wide, she was actually able to choose some true maternity outfits, not just oversized shirts and pants, something she hadn't been able to do when she was carrying Abby. Jim found some items to add to his wardrobe and they couldn't resist buying a gold tunic for Abby and a blue sleeper for Shea, both modeled after the standard uniforms.

Getting directions from the clerk, they exited the shop and made their way towards a civilian clothing store. As soon as they were back on the main corridor, Jim turned around and walked backwards for several paces.

"All right, what's up?" Marissa demanded curiously.

"What?" Jim asked innocently as he turned back around.

"Why do you keep doing that?" Marissa made a twirling motion with her hand. "And glancing behind us all the time."

Jim shrugged, but didn't look down at her. "Just a feeling," he finally admitted. "Like we're being watched."

Marissa snorted. "Well that isn't surprising," she said. "Do you think it could be some of the local reporters? It's no secret the _Enterprise_ is here and it's not like you're unknown, even in civvies."

"Don't know," Jim told her. "Could be. It doesn't feel…hostile. Just there, you know?"

"Maybe Starfleet set guards on us," Marissa suggested. She didn't look worried. If Jim truly thought they were in danger they wouldn't be here. They'd go back to the hotel or he'd call for back up.

"Maybe," Jim agreed just as they came to the clothing store. "Or maybe I'm just paranoid," he added with a grin, as he held open the door for Marissa. "Ready for some serious shopping?"

"Oh, yeah," Marissa replied, rubbing her hands together.

Despite her earlier protests about waiting for her old clothes to be sent back to her and not wanting to spend too many credits, Marissa turned into a whirling dervish as she grabbed pants, shirts, sweaters, jackets, underwear, robes and hosiery. As she tried them on and made her choices she piled them onto the chair next to Jim where he sat watching Abby play with her new dolls. Eventually the stack was taller than him and parts of it had fallen to the floor.

Luckily, with their Starfleet credentials they were able to have everything beamed directly to the ship with the _Enterprises'_ transporters and clearance from Jim and the base.

They made use of the system again after they found a baby and children's clothing store and made an even bigger purchase.

Abby was yawning repeatedly as they found a small shop serving bagels, soups and sandwiches for lunch. By the time they wove their way through the Bazaar and back to their hotel room, Abby was asleep on Jim's shoulder and while Marissa was awake, she was beginning to nod off on her feet.

Jim tucked them both into bed as soon as they entered their rooms.

"Where are you going?" Marissa asked sleepily, patting the bed next to her.

He sat down and kissed her softly. "I'm meeting Bones."

Marissa frowned briefly, but then it went away as she sank onto the bed. "Okay, but stay out of trouble."

Jim chuckled. "Always. Sleep well. I'll be back by the time you wake up, probably, but comm. me if I'm not. All right?"

"Yeah," she nodded sleepily.

"Now why exactly am I being dragged shopping?" McCoy groused as soon as he saw Jim. Ten minutes earlier Jim had requested that they meet in the atrium of the Bazaar. It was uniquely designed at the center of the Bazaar with radiating arms forming the shopping district.

"Because I asked you to," Jim replied sunnily; slapping McCoy on the back as he led the way down one of the corridors.

"Didn't sound much like a request," McCoy muttered, even as he fell into step next to his friend. "Sounded suspiciously like an order to me. And why me, I still don't know. Don't you have fiancée to do this kind of shit with now?"

Jim continued on, but turned backwards to look at McCoy as he walked. "Sure," he agreed, "but we already hit the Bazaar this morning. She and Abby are taking a nap now."

"Turn back around and walk like a normal person before you trip and fall," McCoy scolded. "So you had so much fun you just had to drag me along in the afternoon?"

"Couldn't let you just sit around when there's so much to see, Bones," Jim countered, once again walking forward and looking at the shop windows around them. "It's not good for you to be a recluse."

"I was perfectly happy just 'sitting around' as you call it," McCoy told him indignantly. "That's what shore leave is for. And I was just at a good point in my book, thank you very much. I've been trying to finish it for weeks now."

"A little fresh air will do you good," Jim smiled, stopping to look into a window filled with hats.

Even without looking at him, Jim could practically hear McCoy roll his eyes. "Fresh air, he says," the other man scowled. "We're on another god damned tin can, Jim. This air isn't any fresher than what we have on the _Enterprise_." He continued to mutter about space and air and actual sunlight, but Jim just ignored it. He'd found that sometimes it was best to just let McCoy get it out of his system. Besides, it was pretty darn entertaining at times.

The two friends blended in well with the other oxygen-breathing, yellow-star evolved humanoids, as they walked down the pathway. Yet once again Jim felt that touch of edginess that he'd felt as he'd walked with Marissa and Abby earlier. He'd stop to gaze into shop windows rather more frequently than McCoy appreciated, taking the opportunity to look back in the direction they'd just come. After twenty minutes of walking they'd only made about one hundred meters.

"Okay, Jim," McCoy finally spoke up, arms crossed over his chest as Jim looked at another display. "That's the fourth time you've checked out stuff in a store that I know has no appeal to you – and I doubt Marissa cares either. Since when do you like scented candles or Ladoran wind chimes?"

Jim glanced over at him and then back at the display, waving his hand to encompass the whole window. "Look how cleverly they have arranged the candles, Bones," he said casually, though his eyes darted briefly over McCoy's shoulder. "It's like a scene from an English garden. Jane Austen would feel right at home here."

McCoy cocked his head and gave him a skeptical glare. "Bullshit. When did you ever read Jane Austen?"

"I've read her," Jim protested. "I actually like _Pride and Prejudice_, though _Northanger Abbey_ kind of bored me. She's better than the Bronte sisters. Hmmm," he turned to look at his friend, his eyes moving up and down over his body thoughtfully.

"What?" McCoy asked suspiciously.

Jim shook his head with a bit of grin. "Nothing. I'm just trying to decide if you're more of a Mr. Darcy or Heathcliff kind of guy. You definitely have the scowl-y look going for you. One glare from you and crewmembers cower in their boots, but I know you're just a softy on the inside."

"Now just a minute," McCoy began to protest, but then stopped abruptly as he noticed that Jim's attention was elsewhere. "All right, Jim, enough with the teasing. What the hell is really going on here?"

"Honestly?" Jim asked, his gaze still somewhere over McCoy's shoulder.

McCoy gave an exasperated sound, making Jim grin.

"I need to pick out a wedding ring for Marissa," he explained. "And since you're going to be my best man, I figured you should be the one to help me." He turned and began walking back down the corridor again.

"I am, am I?" McCoy asked as he caught up with his friend.

"Yep," Jim nodded.

"Nice of you to ask."

"Didn't think I had to."

McCoy shook his head, a rare smile playing across his face. "No, I guess you didn't."

They walked on silently for a few more meters, before McCoy spoke again. "What about that rock you already gave her?"

"That's an engagement ring," Jim told him in a tone that suggested he should have known this. "I'm looking for a wedding ring; a band. Something nice; simple, but matching, that I can have engraved."

"Fair enough," McCoy conceded. "And…?"

"And what?" Jim asked as he once again stopped, this time to look into a shop that carried clothing for four-armed bipeds.

"And why are you stopping and looking into all these shops and walking backwards and generally acting paranoid?"

Jim let out a long breath and then led them behind a display rack. "Bones," he said after looking around and checking – for something – once again. "There's someone following us; following me," he admitted in a low voice. "It happened where I was here earlier with Marissa and Abby."

"Are you sure?" McCoy asked.

Jim shrugged. "It's just a feeling," he admitted, "but I'm pretty sure. It's like I can feel someone's eyes on me."

McCoy's eyebrows rose and he rocked back on his heels slightly as he looked at Jim skeptically. "Now you're a physic, too, huh?" he teased.

Jim frowned. "Damn it, I'm serious Bones." He inhaled suddenly; his whole body going ridged as he peered back from where they'd come. "Just…" he began to move past McCoy, patting him on the arm, "just wait here and call for security if it looks like I need it, will you?"

"What?" McCoy asked in surprise. "Why? Damn it, Jim."

The other man was already strolling casually back through the crowds, cutting diagonally across the corridor against the stream of foot traffic. Muttering under his breath, McCoy began to follow, though not too closely. There was no way he was going to wait and see what kind of trouble Jim was about to get in to.

Eventually Jim made his way to a small alleyway between two shops; he paused, glancing back at McCoy before entering quickly. McCoy recognized the shocked look on his friend's face and increased his pace so that he was in the alley within seconds of Jim, only to find himself just as surprised by their follower as Jim was.

"Mr. O'Donnell," Jim stated matter-of-factly as he looked at the older man, any inkling that he'd been surprised gone. "What brings you to Galdonterre?"

"It's none of your business, Kirk," the man replied with a sneering frown, as if Jim or the alleyway smelled.

"Well, then how about you tell me why you've been following me?" Jim countered. He was smiling slightly, but it didn't reach his eyes. McCoy had no such scruples. He crossed arms and glared at the man who had made his friend's life so difficult.

O'Donnell looked about to protest, but then thought better of it. "You saw me."

Jim shrugged. "Not this morning," he admitted. "But I knew someone was following me. Now I'm wondering why."

"A man can walk about the Bazaar if he wants to," O'Donnell replied.

Jim's eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't press further. "What are you doing here?"

O'Donnell's mouth opened, but then shut. He hadn't been expected Jim to give up on his initial inquiry and was unprepared. "I'm on official business," he said pompously.

Both Jim and McCoy's eyebrows rose at that statement. "You're an accountant," Jim stated flatly.

The older man's eyes narrowed and he huffed, "If you must know, I was asked here to take part in an investigation."

Jim and McCoy exchanged looks. Now that was interesting.

"What are you doing here?" O'Donnell demanded indignantly.

Jim smirked. "We're here to take part in an investigation, too," he told the other man.

The three men eyed each other warily. Technically, Jim and McCoy were not supposed to discuss the investigation with anyone outside of Starfleet's investigation team. O'Donnell was probably under the same orders – if he was also part of the investigation into Franks and Dekker. Odds were high that he was, but Jim wasn't about to go against his orders.

"Why were you following me?" Jim changed the topic.

O'Donnell glared. "I wanted to see my granddaughter," he declared.

"And you couldn't just walk up and ask?" Jim asked incredulously. "You know that despite what you did, I had no intention of cutting you off from Abby. I know my lawyer sent you the pertinent information of my will should something happen to me."

"And wasn't that just a slap in the face!" O'Donnell declared angrily, his face turning red. "I'm her grandfather, her blood relative and you're going to give her to some stranger who doesn't even have custody of his own child!"

"Hey!" McCoy began to protest, but Jim stopped him with a hand on his chest.

"Bones is family," Jim stated, his voice clipped. "He loves Abby and Abby loves him. He's her uncle and I trust him more than I trust anyone else. Besides, it's my decision."

"And that Janine girl," O'Donnell muttered, ignoring Jim's glare. "Like she's fit to…"

"Now see here," McCoy interrupted. He reached out to grab O'Donnell and maybe shake him, but Jim stopped him again, putting his body between the two of them.

"Stop," he declared loudly. "This isn't helping. What I want to know," he turned to focus on O'Donnell, "is why, when you saw us this morning, you didn't just come up and…"

"And be introduced to the skinny hussy you've taken up with?" O'Donnell interrupted crossly. For a short man, he was able to look down his nose at Jim, not even bothering to hide his contempt. "I saw her. How you were hanging all over her; letting my granddaughter interact with her. How long was my Marissa gone before you let someone else into your bed?" he demanded. "Did you even wait a week? - A month? - after my little girl died before you latched onto another poor, unsuspecting woman? Was this hussy the first or have there been more? I bet little Abby is confused by the parade of women…"

Jim was speechless at the man's invective and at the totally wrong conclusions he'd made, giving McCoy the chance to jump in with barely contained righteous indignation. "Listen mister," he growled, grabbing for O'Donnell's shirt front and pressing him against the wall of the alley. "You have no idea what's going on here, or who you're…"

"Bones," Jim finally spoke up. "Bones!" he repeated louder, grabbing McCoy's arm and making him let go of O'Donnell. "It's okay."

McCoy turned to look at him incredulously. "Okay? No it's not, Jim. He…"

"Bones," Jim warned, giving him a look telling him to shut up. McCoy fell silent with a put upon huff, turning to glare at O'Donnell who was cowering against the wall, his face now pale and sweaty.

"Where are you staying?" Jim asked him.

"Why? So you can send some of your security thugs to rough me up?" O'Donnell asked, his voice actually trembling.

"Seriously?" Jim asked in exasperation, while McCoy actually chuckled. "You're Abby's grandfather; Marissa's father. No matter how much I don't like you personally I'm not going to send someone to hurt you. Hell," he ran a hand through his hair, "if I wanted you hurt, I'd do it myself."

"Is that a threat, sir?" O'Donnell actually squeaked, shrinking against the wall. "You a supposed captain in Starfleet. I'll tell…"

"Oh shut up, you pompous windbag," McCoy cut in. "Jim's not going to hurt you. Not that you don't deserve it, you…"

"Bones," Jim warned again, but this time with a smirk on his face. "I'm not going to hurt you or have you hurt," Jim told O'Donnell. "And I'm not 'supposedly' a captain, I am a captain."

"And a damn good one too," McCoy muttered next to him.

Jim smiled over at McCoy, but kept his focus on O'Donnell. "It goes against my honor as a captain and officer of Starfleet, and besides, Marissa would skin me alive."

"Well, my baby's dead so…"

Jim shook his head and O'Donnell trailed off. "Where are you staying?" he asked again.

"I'm not telling you," O'Donnell immediately retorted, his face once again turning red.

"Fine," Jim shrugged, before turning away. "Come on Bones," he said to McCoy. "We have some shopping to do. I don't think Mr. O'Donnell will be following us anymore." He walked away, but then turned back before he exited the alley. "I'd contact Nancy if I were you," he told the older man. "She doesn't know where you are."

O'Donnell began sputtering about Jim contacting his wife and keeping his nose out of his business, but Jim ignored him and walked away.

The two friends walked along for a bit, McCoy occasionally glancing over at Jim. "What the hell, Jim?" he finally asked. "Why didn't you punch that asshole in the mouth?"

Jim shook his head. "As much as I wanted too, he's Marissa's dad and he's still grieving."

"Then why didn't you tell him Marissa's alive and then punch him?" McCoy demanded, causing Jim to smirk.

"Remember that lecture you gave me about my anger and attitude towards people?" Jim asked. McCoy nodded. "He's doing the same thing I did."

"When did you become a grown up?" McCoy asked suspiciously.

Jim shrugged. "Probably about the time I realized that I was going to have to be a single father, as well as the captain of the _Enterprise_," he replied honestly.

"Jim…"

"It's okay, Bones," Jim smiled wryly. "I have Marissa now, but I think I'll try to keep up with this grown-up thing. It's probably good for my image."

"What about O'Donnell?"

"What about him? He's always seemed like a petulant child to me," Jim commented.

McCoy rolled his eyes and shook his head. "What about him and Marissa?"

Jim's grinned widened as he stopped in front of another shop, this one with a display of jewelry. "I can't wait to see his face when Marissa knocks on his door," Jim said gleefully. "I'm sure I can get Pike to find out where he's staying."

"You going to warn Marissa?" McCoy asked.

"Of course," Jim replied. "We talked to Nancy and Nana Rose last night – well, more like early this morning – I know she really wants to talk to her dad."

"She knows what he did, right?"

"Yeah, she knows," Jim told McCoy, "and she was – is – pissed about it, but he's still her dad."

"Yeah, I guess," McCoy grumbled.

"What time is Janine's shuttle coming in?" Jim asked, changing the topic as he opened the door to the shop.

McCoy glanced at the chrono on his wrist. "Should be here at fifteen hundred," he calculated quickly. "You're lucky that girl is such on optimist," McCoy commented, following Jim as he began to browse. "If she'd waited to be contacted by us, she'd still be stuck on Seventeen."

"And not able to make the wedding," Jim finished for him.

"Exactly."

"Well, if she arrives on time that gives her and Mariss a couple hours to fuss over each other and Abby, and then we can all have dinner, and then if you two can watch Abby, and I'll take Marissa to see her dad," Jim said. "That work for you?"

"Sure, Jim," McCoy sighed. "Thanks for asking. Again."

"No problem," Jim grinned at him. "Now help me pick out a wedding band." He slapped McCoy on the shoulder jovially. "I want something in platinum to match her engagement ring."

"Whatever you say, captain," McCoy muttered sardonically, but pulled Jim over towards where the rings were displayed towards the back of the shop.


	16. Chapter 16

**Completion**

**Chapter 16**

**(Author's notes at the end)**

The evening had gone well and Marissa had never felt happier. She'd had Jim by her side, Abby running around their rooms and her best friend sitting right across from her after months apart. Life was good. She wanted to continue catching up with Janine, but she could tell from the side-ways glances and the shifting that Len was doing that he was more than ready to get on with the evening; an evening that did not include Jim, Marissa or Abby.

Watching the doctor check his watch for the third time in fifteen minutes while he pretended to be paying attention to Jim's monologue about the upgrades being done to the _Enterprise_, Marissa smiled to herself. The man was so obvious.

"Wow," she yawned, sitting up in her chair and stretching her arms over her head, Marissa winked at Janine who stopped talking about colors and flowers and the need for the punch to somehow match them. "I'm getting really sleepy."

"You are?" McCoy asked, actually perking up in seat his and looking at her hopefully, though he disguised it pretty quickly.

Jim looked disconcerted by her declaration, like he had plans and she wasn't playing along with them. "You are?"

"You are?" Janine said flatly, a wry look on her face. Janine didn't miss anything and she knew Marissa wasn't really tired.

"I am," Marissa nodded emphatically. "Swimming always wears me out and I guess I'm still not caught up with my sleep…"

Jim frowned and shifted Abby to his other arm so that he could actually see her. "But you took a nap," he said. "And it's not even 2000 yet."

Marissa patted his arm. "I know sweetie." She pretended to yawn again, covering her mouth prettily with her hand. "But with all the excitement of Janine being here and all." She shrugged and gave him a wistful smile. "It's not easy being pregnant sometimes."

"Well then," McCoy stood up and brushed off his pants. "We shouldn't keep you up any longer. You need your rest." He held out a hand to Janine who took it. She kept her eyes on Marissa as she stood gracefully, a knowing smile on her face. She mouthed a quick 'thank you.'

"But…" Jim protested weakly from where he still sat, Abby heavy in his arms. "Abby…and Bones…Don't you want to spend more time with Abby, Janine?" he asked.

Marissa shook her head at her soon-to-be husband. "Abby's out for the night, Jim. I'm sure Len and Janine have better things to do." She gave him a look that told him he was being obtuse and then rolled her eyes towards the couple that was holding hands next to her. Janine had an amused grin on her face and McCoy looked about ready to drag her out of the room.

Jim's lips shaped into an 'O', but no sound came out as he took in their expressions and body language. "But…I was hoping they'd watch Abby for us. Just for a bit."

McCoy frowned, but before he could say anything, Marissa chimed in. "Abby's asleep and I'm tired, so we don't need them tonight. Maybe tomorrow." She had no idea what Jim wanted to do. It wasn't like they couldn't make love while Abby was asleep in the next room, and she highly doubted he wanted to go clubbing right now.

"Tomorrow, Jim," McCoy said, already starting to pull Janine towards the door. "We'll watch Abby for you tomorrow." He was almost looking apologetically at Jim, which really peaked Marissa's interest. He was obviously in on whatever had been on Jim's mind all evening. He had hid it well, but then Marissa knew him better than most. She'd known he was anxious or worried about something almost since he'd woken her up from her nap, but he'd played it cool all evening and she'd let him, too happy to be with her friend.

"But…" Jim stood up, but Marissa didn't let him say anything more.

Following the couple to the door, Marissa pulled Janine into a hug, not at all surprised when McCoy didn't let go of her hand. "I'm so happy to see you," she whispered to her friend, holding her just a little tighter for the moment. "Have fun tonight."

Janine's ringing laugh caused both men to look at them curiously. "We'll talk more tomorrow," she said.

"You bet your ass we will," Marissa chuckled in return. She backed up so she stood next to Jim, taking his free arm and leaning against him. "Say good night to Janine and Len, Jim," she prodded him.

He looked like he wanted to protest, but instead said, "'Night Bones. 'Night Janine."

The two said their good nights quickly and were out the door in seconds.

"Jesus, where's the fire?" Jim commented sounding put out.

"In Len's pants," Marissa replied, shaking her head and smiling. "You really didn't expect them to stay here and watch Abby sleep, did you?"

Jim shrugged. He looked uncomfortable and Marissa's smile faded slightly when he didn't make some quip about Bones and his well known lack of partners, or how little use Bones' bone got put to use. It was standard banter between the two men by now. "Okay, what's up? You have big plans tonight or something?"

"Yeah, kinda," he admitted. He shook his head and straightened, quickly deciding on another course of action. "Look, can you put Abby to bed while I make a few calls?"

"Jim…"

Handing off Abby, Jim pressed a kiss to Marissa's forehead. "Not big plans," he told her, "but something we need to…talk about."

"And we need to be alone for this?" Marissa asked bewilderingly, standing in the middle of the living area with Abby now draped over her shoulder snoring softly as Jim walked over to the in suite comm. unit.

Jim sat down and began typing. "Uh, yeah. Look," he turned back to face her. "I'll explain everything once Abby's settled and I've located a babysitter, okay?"

Narrowing her eyes, Marissa frowned. "Am I going to like this?" Jim seemed rather nervous, but not in an I-am-about-to-jump-out-of-my-skin-I'm-so-excited kind of way. It was more like his I-have-to-go-to-this-meeting-so-I-might-as-well-get-this-over-with.

Jim scrunched up his face, his expression hesitant. "Maybe?"

"Jim…"

"I promise, it's not really bad," he interrupted her. "At least I don't think so. Not after you get used to…get over the…" He sighed. "Just put Abby to bed and I'll explain. Trust me."

Marissa gave him a long, hard look, but didn't say anything more as she turned to take Abby to bed. By the time she was done changing Abby into her pajamas and getting the almost comatose toddler to go potty, Chris Pike was sitting in their living area flipping through the channels on the vid screen.

"Hello Admiral," Marissa said, not at all surprised about who Jim had contacted, but still confused. Jim was nowhere in sight. "I don't suppose you know why you're here and where Jim's dragging me off to?"

"It's Chris," Pike admonished her. "And yes, I know and no I'm not telling you. It's not that bad. Might even be good."

Marissa crossed her arms and sighed. "Why is that not the least bit comforting?" she asked wryly.

Pike grinned, but turned back to the vid screen. "Is Abby asleep?"

"Like a rock," Marissa told him with a small smile. "I don't think you'll have much to do – unless we'll be gone all night."

"We won't be gone that long," Jim commented, coming down the short hallway from the bathroom. "Maybe an hour or two. You good?" he looked over at Pike, who waved. "Well, make yourself at home and we'll be back."

"I'll be here," Pike told them. He offered them an encouraging smile as Jim hustled them out the door.

"Jim, I'm really starting to feel nervous," Marissa said as she followed him down the hallway to the bank of lifts. "Are you going to tell me what's going on?"

Jim didn't say anything, just led her down the hallway to the elevator. His lips were pursed tightly and his expression was determined. "Look Mariss," he began, but then the elevator arrived, already occupied by a couple and their teenage son and daughter. Jim's mouth snapped shut.

"What floor?" the man asked politely.

"Four please," Jim replied.

Marissa continued to stare at him curiously. They knew no one staying on the fourth floor. Glancing over at the buttons, she realized that the fourth floor also contained the skyway bridge to the other tower, but that didn't make sense either. Everyone they knew that was staying at this particular hotel was in the Crystal tower, not the Diamond tower.

There was whispering behind them, and Marissa caught the words 'captain' and 'Enterprise.' Jim's hand tightened on hers, but he kept his eyes focused on the descending numbers above the doors.

"Tomas, hush!" the mother scolded, exchanging an embarrassed glance with Marissa.

"But mom, I think that's…" the young boy replied, a definite whine in his voice. There were glares exchanged between mother and son. Marissa did her best to suppress her amusement. She glanced over at Jim. Usually he too was amused by the response he engendered from people and while he wasn't always comfortable, he always made an effort to be polite – introduce himself, answer any questions – especially if there were children involved.

Marissa leaned over toward the teen leaning against the side wall. "Captain Kirk," she whispered out of the side of her mouth.

She felt Jim sigh, but he looked over at smiled at the kid whose mouth had dropped open. His younger sister was silently laughing at him and poking him in the side.

"Hello," Jim said, nodding at the kid's parents who seemed almost as awe struck.

"Wow." Tomas was momentarily speechless. "Captain Kirk. Are you staying in this hotel? And Commander Spock? I told you that was the _Enterprise_, dad! How long will you be here?" The kid went from silence to a thousand questions in the blink of an eye.

The boy's father put a hand on Tomas' shoulder. "Slow down, son. Give the captain a chance to answer. Sorry, Captain," he smiled apologetically to Jim.

"No problem," Jim replied with a wave of his hand. "Yes, the _Enterprise_ is here. There's a…conference for the next couple days. We're having an abbreviated shore leave, so, yes, Mr. Spock is here, as well as most of my command crew and a bunch of Admirals and their staff."

"Wow. And you're staying in this hotel?"

Jim nodded. "We are."

"Have you been to the arcade or the pool? We haven't had a chance yet, but we only got in last night."

"Tomas!" his mother scolded. "I'm sure the captain has more important things to do than lie around the pool or play games in the arcade."

Jim smiled wryly. "Actually, my part in the…conference…is basically done, so yes, I've been to the pool. It's nice. I haven't been to the arcade yet, but my navigator and helmsman say it's pretty awesome. Some top notch flying simulators if you like that kind of thing."

"Really?" Tomas was practically bouncing on his toes – whether at the idea of flying simulators or because he might see Jim out and about in the hotel, Marissa couldn't tell. She chuckled at his enthusiasm.

"They may be Starfleet officers, but give them downtime and they're just a bunch of over grown kids," she told Tomas, sharing a knowing look with his mother.

Tomas seemed to notice her for the first time, taking in her hand clasped in Jim's. "Who are you? Are you a member of his crew?" he asked just as they reached the fourth floor and the doors to the elevator opened.

"Tomas!" his mother hissed in exasperation and embarrassment. She probably thought Marissa was someone Jim had picked up and didn't want her son to embarrass him.

Marissa found herself momentarily at a loss for words as four sets of eyes focused on her.

"Yes, she is," Jim responded for her, tugging her off the elevator. "She's the best xenohistorian in the fleet. Marissa O'Donnell, soon-to-be Kirk, my fiancée."

The family stared at them in shock as the doors started to slide shut. The mother recovered first. "Congratulations!" she called just before the doors closed.

Marissa chuckled. "I think you might have disappointed Tomas. Marrying a girl. Everyone know girls have space cooties."

"Eh," Jim shrugged. "He'll learn. Space cooties are pretty awesome."

Tugging her along, Jim started walking down the long corridor leading to the Diamond tower. They passed several people, some of which seemed to recognize Jim.

"You going to tell me what's going on?" Marissa finally asked when they passed a Talosian couple and were finally able to talk without being overheard.

Jim ran a hand through his hair and kept walking. He looked uncertain as he pressed the call button for another set of elevators. "Yeah, I guess. I just…Do you trust me?"

"Of course I do," Marissa immediately responded.

The elevator arrived and they stepped on, Jim pressing the button for the seventeenth floor. "There's someone I want you to see. Someone you need to see."

Marissa looked at him again, taking in the stubborn set of his jaw, the determined look in his eyes, the thin line of his lips. "Oh my god," Marissa gasped as an idea came to her. "We're going to meet your mother?"

"My…what?" Jim asked in surprise. "My mother? No, no. Not my mother. Damn," he shuddered at the thought. "Trust me, I would not be dragging you to see her. I don't know if I even want to see her, let alone subject you to that."

Marissa pressed into his side, placing a comforting hand on his chest. "Jim, she's your mom. You have to talk to her eventually. We could send a wedding announcement. Maybe that might open something up; get her to contact you. I know you know where she is."

"We can send her an announcement if you want," Jim conceded, wrapping his arm around Marissa and kissing her head. "But that's all I'm willing to do, okay? As far as I'm concerned, the ball is in her court now. I'm perfectly fine without her."

"Jim…" Marissa began as the doors slid open and Jim stepped off the elevator, looking at the directional signs before moving off to the left.

"Mariss, this is not about my mother," he told her over his shoulder, his eyes focused on the room numbers. "This is about you and…" He stopped in front of room 1735. Taking a deep breath he pressed the chime to signal for entry.

There were sounds of a deep bass rumbling and footsteps and then the door slid open. Marissa gasped at the sight of her father standing in front of them glaring. His eyes seemed to pass right over her and then focus on Jim, his eyes narrowing and his lip curling in disgust.

"Mr. O'Donnell," Jim began politely. "Can we…"

"What the hell, Kirk?" the older man barked. "I don't want to see you or your new tramp! I…"

"Mr. O'Donnell!" Jim interrupted, his voice now with a hint of steel in it.

"Dad?" Marissa barely whispered, one hand coming up to reach for her father while her other squeezed Jim's as hard as she could.

Matthew O'Donnell's face was red. He had a finger pointed at Jim's chest and was just beginning to snarl at him, when Marissa's softly spoken word seemed to get his attention and he turned towards her, his eyes wide. Right before their eyes, he paled and seemed to deflate.

"Marissa?" he asked disbelievingly, his eyes raking her up and down, taking in everything, drinking her in with awe and relief. It was when he reached their clasped hands that his eyes narrowed again, flickering from Jim to Marissa, a small frown appearing on his face.

"I tried to tell you this afternoon," Jim said quietly, "but I don't think you would have believed me."

Matthew cleared his throat, his eyes locked on Marissa. "You should have tried harder," he said, his tone dismissive.

"Dad," Marissa warned, her elated expression dampening.

"It's good to see you baby," Matthew gave her a wobbly smile. Reaching out a shaky hand, he cupped her cheek, letting his thumb gently caress her.

Leaning into his touch, Marissa placed her hand over his, squeezing it as a tear streaked down her face.

The sound of the elevator opening and people chattering caused the three of them to startle.

"Can we come in?" Jim asked, looking over Marissa to see a group of five walking down the hallway towards them. Not waiting for a response, Jim pushed Marissa in front of him and into the room, forcing Matthew to back up. The door slid shut and they stood in the small entryway, Jim's back to the door as father and daughter stared at each other.

Marissa inhaled shakily. "What are you doing here?" she finally asked when no one else seemed ready to speak.

That seemed to startle her father a bit and he stepped away, motioning into the small bedroom towards a dining table. "Come in, baby, come in. Have a seat. You thirsty? I can get you some water, or something to eat from the replicator. Hasn't he been feeding you?"

"I'm fine," she replied, still looking bewildered at seeing her father here on Galdonterre.

They watched as Matthew picked up his suit jacket and shirt that were laying over one of the chairs and threw them onto the bed, before sitting down and motioning Marissa to the other.

Marissa shook her head, her expression strangely hard to read as Jim followed her in and watched her sit on the proffered chair. There was no where else to sit besides the bed, so he moved around her to lean on the desk, the only other flat space in the small room.

"Kirk, you can…" Matthew was waving back towards the door to the hallway.

"Jim stays," Marissa interrupted, easily reading her father's intentions. His glare was something fierce as he stared at Jim, waiting for him to take the hint and leave. Jim said nothing, simply crossing his arms and leaning against the desk, his legs stretched out and brushing against Marissa's.

"Baby," Matthew turned his gaze back to her, his expression morphing into a pleasant mask. "I'm so happy to see you, you don't know what it was like while you were missing. Starfleet told us you were dead, which was obviously a lie. Why he didn't…" he trailed off and shook his head. "I want to see you. I missed you. He doesn't need to be here. He's not…"

"He stays if I say he stays," Marissa snapped, then her face softened. "It's good to see you, too, dad," she told him honestly, her voice hitching. "I'm sure my…disappearance…was hard on you. I was worried when we contacted Nancy and Nana and they didn't know where you were."

"Wha…huh…why…?" he spluttered, his face reddening as he looked away. "You contacted them?"

"Of course I did," Marissa frowned. "As soon as I was able. I thought I was contacting you too," she pointed out. "What are you doing all the way out here when you should be back home?"

Rubbing his hands over his thighs, Matthew looked like he wanted to stand up and move, but the room was just too small. "I'm glad," he nodded. "I'm glad you contacted them. It wasn't…we didn't…the news…it nearly killed Rose. I thought she was going to have a heart attack or stroke. And to hear it from some nameless bureaucrat, not even from someone who should have cared…" he glared at Jim once more.

"I contacted you as soon…as soon as I was sure," Jim said, trying not to sound defensive.

"Well you were wrong!" Matthew snapped back.

"I didn't know!" Jim argued back, shoving off the desk to stand. He'd meant for this to be between father and daughter; to be only an observer and to support Marissa, but he couldn't stand the look on the other man's face. It was obvious he blamed Jim for everything and Jim was tired of it. "Do you think I wanted to make that call? That I wanted to believe that Marissa was dead? I stayed and searched for her until they had to pull me off the bridge, put a notation in my file of insubordination and relieve me of duty. I didn't…"

"Oh," Matthew scoffed, snarling in disdain. "The sainted Captain Kirk gets a notation in his file. How will your career survive?" He launched himself off of his chair and took a step towards Jim, his face an angry red. "She is my daughter. My child. Don't even pretend that you cared enough to risk yourself or your career to…"

Jim's eyes widened and he took another step closer, now towering over Matthew. "Don't even finish that sentence, you pompous asshole," he snarled. "She's the woman I love, the mother of my child, and my future wife! So you can take all your hurt feelings and whatever the fuck resentment you have towards me and stuff it! I did what I had to do, what I thought was right. There was no evidence…" his voice cracked and he looked away. Marissa slipped her hand into his and he squeezed it. Jim took a breath and backed off, if only a little. This wasn't about his feelings, after all.

"I didn't want to believe she was dead," he said, his voice softer, "but I had no choice. Not with the evidence we had. But I never stopped looking; trying to figure out why; who had done it."

"You wanted revenge," Matthew muttered, sitting back down. "Like that would bring her back."

"Not revenge," Jim countered. "Just the truth. I wanted to be able to tell Abby why her mother wasn't coming back. I wanted to have answers for her when she was old enough to ask. But, yes, I wanted to kill the fuckers who pushed the button; who set her up."

"You're not good enough for her," Matthew said huffily.

"Maybe not," Jim agreed with a nod, it was an old argument, after all. "But I'm the one she's going to marry."

Apparently Matthew had missed Jim's early comment about a future wife, because his face paled. "Marry…"

Marissa stood up. Her face was flushed red and set in a determined mask. "Yes. Marry, dad," she told him. "In three days." She took a shaky breath and squared her shoulders. Pulling Jim closer, she looked down at her father. "I know you never agreed with my decision to join Starfleet and to seek a posting on a ship. And I know that you don't…approve of Jim in my life. But he's my choice and there is nothing you can do to change that." She sniffed.

"Mariss," Jim said soothingly, letting go of her hand and putting his arm around her shoulder.

"No, Jim," she shook her head, still staring at her father. "He needs to hear and understand this once and for all. I love Jim. It shouldn't change anything between us. You're my father. He's going to be my husband."

"Baby," Matthew leaned forward. "Don't…don't act in haste. Marriage is a long term decision. It's not like…like Starfleet. You don't just give it five years and then you can leave. Marriage is…it's a big commitment. Don't make the biggest mistake of your life just because he got you pregnant."

Marissa laughed derisively, but it was more disbelieving than humorous. "He got me pregnant? Are you even listening to yourself? I'm twenty-five years old, dad, and fully capable of making my own decisions. Jim didn't seduce me. Jim didn't 'get' me anything. Abby was conceived. It was unexpected, but one of the best things to happen to me. And this one," she smoothed her shirt over her belly, outlining the bump that housed their unborn son, "was a mutual decision."

"You're pregnant again?" he asked in shock.

"Yes," she nodded. "But that's not what I wanted to tell you. What you need to understand is that when you hurt Jim, you hurt me. And I will not stand for that."

"I've never…."

"You never what? You sent pictures of a guy I used to date and job opportunities near him!" She threw her hands up in frustration. "You were so cold and rude to Jim after he brought you to Stratnon! You demanded all my things back – what the hell did you plan to do with them anyway? And you tried to take Abby away from him!" Her voice was louder than Jim had ever heard before and she looked pissed. "You tried to take a toddler away from her father and the only family she's ever known because you are mean and selfish and have never tried to understand anyone who disagreed with you. You were hurting so you had to hurt someone else. I understand that, but it's not good enough."

"Marissa," Jim tried to interrupt again, but she shook her head fiercely.

"You've always done that," she stated, her voice firm. "I decided to go away to school. Rather than be happy for me, you sold my dog. I didn't move back to Colorado after college so you barely talked to me. Even on my birthday! And when I came home for Christmas? You didn't say two words to me. I didn't even get a thank you for the present I picked out for you, spending way more than I could afford to try to get back into your good graces!"

Matthew open his mouth to speak, but Marissa just held up her hand. "Shut up!" she told him. His jaw snapped closed, though his face turned red.

"I joined Starfleet and you have never forgiven me." Her voice softened and she shook her head sadly. Jim could hear the pain underlying her words. "I'm not your puppet dad. I'm not your little girl anymore, willing to do anything to get you to pay attention to me. I have a PhD. I'm a Lieutenant Commander on board the flagship of the fleet, doing a job that I love.

"I'm the mother of a beautiful little girl and a baby boy who will be born soon, and I'm going to be the wife of this man in three days." She placed her hand over Jim's where it rested on her shoulder. "This man, who risked his career, fought his superiors, defied orders and searched through heaven and hell to find me." She blinked rapidly, trying to clear her eyes. "This man, who I love more than life itself. So dad, if you can't accept things the way they are, maybe…maybe…" her voice broke and she took a shaky breath and closed her eyes.

"I just can't," she whispered, her shoulders sagging as she turned her head and pressed her face against Jim's chest.

Matthew had been silent throughout Marissa's impassioned speech, his mouth agape. He swallowed convulsively as he saw her run out of steam and extended a hand palm up, in supplication. "I just want the best for you, baby. That's all I've ever wanted."

Marissa laughed wetly, swiping brusquely under her eyes. "But you never understood what it was that I wanted," she told him, her tone resigned. "If I didn't want the same things you did, then my choices were wrong. Well dad, my choices are mine. And they are right for me." She spoke evenly, but by the determined set of her jaw it was obvious she meant everything she had said.

Neither father or daughter moved. Finally Marissa just shook her head and turned towards Jim, giving his hand a squeeze. "Come on, Jim. Let's go." She pulled him towards the door, walking briskly away from her father.

They were almost to the door when Matthew stood up. "Baby – Marissa. I'd like to…" he cleared his throat. "Can I come to your wedding? Please?"

Marissa stopped but didn't turn around. She nodded once. "Of course. We'll let you know when and where." Motioning the door to open, she continued out into the hallway, not even waiting for her father's response.

Jim trailed behind her, somewhat in awe of the temper he had just seen displayed. Janine had hinted at it, but he'd never seen it and hadn't quite believed it. "Mariss," he began tentatively.

She made a small noise in the back of her throat and shook her head, stopping to stab at the elevator button. When the doors finally opened, she dragged him in. He could see her pained expression in the reflection of the mirrored walls, her lips pursed tightly and her chin quivering.

The minute the doors slid closed she turned towards him and pounded a fist against his chest. "Damn it, Jim! What the hell were thinking?" she demanded. "How could you…"

"Mariss, I…" Jim floundered, as her anger quickly drained and she threw herself against his chest with a sob. "I thought you'd want to see your father," he said softly into her hair, wrapping his arms around her. "I thought…"

"You weren't thinking, you idiot," she told him, though there was no anger in her voice. "You could have at least warned me."

Jim sighed, pressing his cheek against the top of her head. "I didn't know how," he eventually admitted.

"Duh," she snorted. "What is he doing here?" she asked.

Shrugging, Jim glanced up at the descending numbers, realizing that the doors would be opening soon. He pulled back enough to be able to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I imagine he was called here to present evidence against Franks and Dekker. I gathered from what I heard from Nancy that he might have been coerced into filing for custody of Abby."

"That still doesn't make it right," she countered.

"Maybe not," Jim agreed. "But, you have to admit that there are extenuating circumstances."

At the sound of the signal for the door to open, Marissa stepped away from Jim, shaking her head. "Maybe. But he should have known that it was wrong, no matter what some lawyer told him. And it doesn't change the way he's treated me and my decisions in the past."

"No, it doesn't," Jim nodded. Taking her hand and leading her down the hall towards the elevators that would take them to their room. "But he's still your father. And he does love you."

"I know," Marissa eventually whispered, just loud enough for Jim to hear. "And thank you," she continued. "Just next time…"

"Mariss," Jim interrupted her, stopping in the middle of the corridor to look down at her. "I don't think I can handle a 'next time,' so let's not talk about it, okay?"

She smiled wryly. "Yeah, okay."

Jim started walking again. "I just want to marry you so that there is never any doubt who you belong to."

"Or who you belong to," Marissa countered.

"Exactly," Jim smiled.

_To be continued… I promise._

_Author's note: Sorry this is so late. Summer, when I'm not working, is not a good time for me. I start out fine, but without a schedule and things to do (and money) I just…lose it. A mini-depression, if you will. But that is now all better. I got a new job! I'm back in a bookstore as a manager, doing what I love working with schools and businesses, as well as customers in the store. It's been a pretty steep learning curve, but I'm loving it!_

_Probably the biggest reason that this is so late, though, is because of writers block. I've written and worked on a handful of stories and one shots since chapter 15 was posted. There were a couple Jim/Bones one shots and one really long Gaila/Jim, Jim/Bones S&M extravaganza that isn't posted yet, but is finished. And I've been working on Marissa in the Mirror, a Jim/Bones/Marissa aliens-made-us-do-it story, and I have a couple Jim/OFC ideas floating around in half finished outlines or intro chapters. I have been writing, but Marissa's conversations with her father was just harder than I expected. _

_As usual Royalpinkdogs deserves a ton of thanks and credit for getting this chapter to completion (ha ha). She poked and prodded and sent ideas and beta'd my attempts and then sent more ideas and Marissa's rant is totally hers, with little tweaks made by me._

_Here's hoping that I get Jim and Marissa down the aisle soon. Thanks to everyone who favorited and sent encouraging PMs. I appreciate it._

_RA_


End file.
